Julie Ann's Story

Sunshine

I met my N 7 months after my father had died. Two days before he died he sang "You are my Sunshine" to me. So that word is special to me. The first time I went out with my N, he called and called me Sunshine. There is no way he could know about Sunshine. So I took it as a sign from my dad that I would be ok in this relationship. Still can't figure out why!!! Anyway all was great in the beginning. Loving, affectionate, treated me like a lady. Then one night I woke up and he was texting his ex sister in law. I let him know that I didn't think it was ok. He said she just needed someone to talk to. After that I checked his cell phone bill. He was texting another woman that lives in our small town. One day I was at work with him and his phone beeped. I told him and he said he didn't have a message. I watched him go to the sink and wash his hands. He then pulled his phone out of his pocket. I went to him and ask if he was hiding a text. Of course he said no. I told him to let me see his phone. "Hi Honey". Boy was I mad. I threatened to leave him that time and didn't follow though. He continued to text and talk to other women though out our 2 year relationship. He blamed my insecurities on my ex because he cheated and told me about it when I would ask. Sex was ok. He always wanted it from behind. He wanted me to go down on him every night. He said it helped both of us relax. I even fell asleep a couple of times. He started asking me to have a 3some and even approached a couple of my friends. Of course they were smarter than me a said no. They both quit coming over. He had me thinking that his life was short and that he wanted to experience everything. So of course I went along with it. Never did do it. Got out when he started talking about a girl that was half our age. I think he did this on purpose so I would leave. He would go out of town and not answer his phone. When I said something he said I was smothering him. We had a business together and he started telling me exactly how to do everything. Some of what he said I knew was wrong but did what he wanted. He told me what to say when I talked on the phone. How to act. I couldn't even think for myself anymore. I took a car that we bought right before we seperated to stay with my daughter. The day I was coming back I called him and he said he was going to visit a friend. When I got there to drop off the car he came outside and a few minutes later his new girlfriend came out. I could not believe she had the guts. I hit bottom when I finally left. I couldn't get out of bed or eat. Since I met him I went from a 9 to a 3. I was totally worn out physically, mentally and emotionally. Started seeing a couselor before I left him because he told me I needed help for my insecurities. So with her help and the doctor I am doing better. Still living with my son. Doctor didn't want me living alone. I have worked really hard to get to where I am. At least I can make a decision and laugh now. This site has helped alot. Knowing that there is a name for men like him. He is sooooo Narcisistic. I am starting to see just how brainwashed I really was. Well that's my story. Feel like I could write forever.