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Just too important...

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#1 Jan 16 - 11AM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Just too important...

I know this has been discussed before, but it's tax time again, and I'm getting ready to go to the place I always go to get my taxes done. Well, this triggered a memory that really pissed me off at the time.

Last year, my exN and I were out and about. I mentioned, 'let's go by and get my taxes done, it only takes about 30 min'. He said 'no I don't want to go, drop me off somewhere'. I should have known better, this was typical. He had also fussed about going to the doctor's with me and other places where he had to WAIT.

So, I dropped his butt at the electronics store. From there, he proceeded to text me several times, 'are you almost done?' Geesh. Anyway, I know this goes along with their selfish ways. They are just too damn important, and their time is so precious, it clearly shows their total lack of support and caring for us.
I am really happy I don't have to deal with it this year. :)

Anyone else have similar stories?

Jan 16 - 1PM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

Isn't that what children do?

Isn't that what children do? Are we there yet, I wanna go, can we go home now? He could have sat in the waiting room at the tax place or the doctor's and read a magazine. The texts are typical instead of just doing his thing at the electronics store and you getting the taxes done he makes a drama, pressure, anxiety- he just punished you for being independent.
Jan 16 - 2PM (Reply to #14)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

carolyn

Yep, and I should have known I was in trouble when I picked him up and told him I'm getting a nice return, which will really help for the upcoming honeymoon we were planning. His reaction? A partial smile, raised eyebrows, and a hmmm! The kind of reaction someone makes when they are forced to eat something they hate out of politeness?? The fake, mmmmm yummy! ;) I'm sure his lack of enthusiasm was due to the plans to abandon me, which were likely already in the works and just a few short weeks away...nice. They do act just like very spoiled rotten nasty kids who aren't raised properly!
Jan 16 - 4PM (Reply to #15)
SerenityNow (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I think we dated the same guy

We were engaged for about 9 months... he was over-the-top excited for about the first two months and then almost overnight he became totally detached and I became in charge of all the planning. I finally told him he needed to be involved or break up with me... so he gave me money for the honeymoon tickets. Three weeks later he basically forced me into breaking up with him when he told me he changed his mind about having kids. He said to me "I thought we talked about this..."
Jan 16 - 4PM (Reply to #16)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

serenity

Wow, how horrific! Yes, there are so many times I've said that reading the stories on here ~ 'did we date the same guy?' They go to so much trouble to be with us and make plans, then the bottom falls out like we never existed. But that's fake guy - HE never existed. Saying to you, "I thought we talked about this"...what a freaking coward! And they even believe what they say, that's the real twisted part. You can play a recording of their voice back to them, they'll still say they never said it. Stupid bastards...
Jan 16 - 12PM
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

Not exactly.

I don't remember anything like this happening. I'm sure it's because I somehow had figured out that I just shouldn't ask. But what I do remember is numerous trips to Home Depot so he could look at whatever home improvement project he had up his ass at the moment, and of course when you're in Home Depot, you always think of something you need. So if I mentioned that I wanted to go to get some light bulbs or something he just seemed so put out, like I was wasting his precious time. We had just spent an hour looking at floor tile he was never going to buy, and I wanted 5 minutes to pick up some light bulbs. I also remember numerous trips to Ultimate Electronics to look at big screen TV's. He already had a 60" Sony, but he just wanted to go in there and tell the salespeople what a great TV he already had. We would be there for over an hour each time, then he would bitch about how the day flew by and he didn't do what he needed to do. I would usually walk away and find one of those comfy couches and watch videos. So I get what you mean, mine would have done the same thing. If he would have gone in the first place.
Jan 16 - 1PM (Reply to #10)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

msvulcan

I LOL'd at your post too...funny now, I'm sure at the time totally annoying. My ex would spend sooo much time making decisions too on purchases. We needed new silverware once, not even the good stuff, just NEW everyday stuff. I swear, he looked at every box, couldn't make up his mind on the design, the quality, the price... Sometimes, I almost wanted to scream in the middle of the stor shopping with him. It's just silverware, you're not purchasing stocks for gosh sakes! But if I wandered off, I'd get bitched out for it. I would have LOVED to sit my butt down on a nice comfy couch! ;) And don't get me started on Lowes and Home Depot.../cry! (was yours a huge Star Trek fan too, hence your SN? Just curious).
Jan 16 - 1PM (Reply to #11)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

Oh yeah, it seemed like we

Oh yeah, it seemed like we could spend a half hour perusing the chicken breasts at Kroger! Oh, and a restaurant menu. Don't get me started. And he always complained that his food at restaurants was cold. Every flippin' meal. Actually, my SN refers to my new motorcycle, a Kawasaki Vulcan. I always wanted a motorcycle, but being the kind person I am, I didn't want to get one when my N had a scooter. LOL Now in hindsight, I should have gotten it a lot sooner. My friends say I should cruise up and down the main street by his house so I can pull up next to him and point and laugh. **EVIL GRIN**
Jan 16 - 2PM (Reply to #12)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

msvulcan

Ohhh cool! Good for you, I'm glad you did something nice for yourself. Isn't it amazing all we DON'T do because we're so afraid, or not up for the punishment the N will give us?? Yes, you should drive by his house with some hot shirtless stud on the back, revving up the engine, LOL'ing all the way...hehe!
Jan 16 - 12PM (Reply to #7)
itreallyisabouthim
itreallyisabouthim's picture

LMAO!!! (sorry)...

He already had a 60" Sony, but he just wanted to go in there and tell the salespeople what a great TV he already had. I just spit out my coffee reading that one ;)
Jan 16 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

Sorry about the coffee!

Hindsight really is 20/20, isn't it. He's someone else's problem now. My condolences go out to her.
Jan 18 - 2PM (Reply to #9)
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

My exN & TV's...

My exN thought we needed a bigger tv (of course on my credit cos his was so bad). He never paid it. Then he bought himself a big screen which he ended up losing at a pawn shop cos he never paid the loan back..yes ladies, a real winner!
Jan 16 - 12PM
SerenityNow (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

um, yeah...

My ExN would NEVER do anything I wanted to do... he made it seem like it was was such a chore. If we were out & about sometimes I'd suggest taking a scenic route home... nope. He wouldn't go look at christmas lights with me. I once asked him to run out to the mall with me quickly because I could use the company and just needed to return something quickly... that was a fun fight On the flip side... whenever we went to his favorite record store, he expected me to wait in the car for him for who knows how long because it was private time for him and he didn't want me to annoy him. And why did I put up with this?
Jan 16 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

serenity

Because we were in love, aka, brainwashed into thinking this was acceptable behavior. But even then my bitterness was growing, I knew something was really wrong, yet I did go along with it, always hoping things would get better if I just tried more. Yikes! Oh ya, the Xmas light thing, I wanted to do that so badly one year ~ the town had a very special display, he wouldn't go either. Bah humbug. And you're right, we are always expected to comply with THEIR wishes!?? While mine was working on my car in the garage, he'd get pissed if I didn't sit there, watch, talk to him and keep him entertained. It was easier for me to be bored to death watching him fix a car all day (while putting off doing stuff inside to keep the house immaculate, which he also insisted on), then listen to the lecture of how I don't want to spend time with him.
Jan 16 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
4joys4
4joys4's picture

Myexn used to tell me he did

Myexn used to tell me he did this with his exwife. He would drive her to the supermarket but never go in to shop with her for the family. He waited in the car. I said he wont do that to me. If he doesnt help shop for the food, I wouldnt buy him any. So he came in. Wish I had a little control over him when it came to other women and lying.
Jan 18 - 2PM (Reply to #4)
neveragain
neveragain's picture

Mine's Stereo Broke

The night before Super Bowl, his stereo went out. Horror or HORRORS....he COULDN'T possibly live without a stereo....it's what he used to workout to! So, we missed his best friends Super Bowl Party because he had to spend hours trying to fix it. He wanted me to be right there by his side while he spent those hours trying to trouble shoot some electronics that he knew NOTHING about. He kept calling his friend interupting his party to get advice. I finally just went home and he was so mad at me! I said, "Why would I want to stand around while you try to fix your stereo?" He said, "I used to be in the same room with you while you were sewing! It's about spending time together!!" That's the Logic Of An N. neveragain
Jan 18 - 2PM (Reply to #5)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

neveragain

Omg, eerily similar to what mine would say...he'd feel abandoned and pout because I didn't want to spend time with him. Only an a$$ would expect us to stick around while they fix a car or stereo. If we wanted to stay with them to keep them company out of choice, that's different. This was all about CONTROL!!!