Let Me Be A Warning!

So, I'm not proud of this, but I have tried to remain on friendly terms with my Narc fiance after 3 months of NC. Honestly, the notes under my door mat and the hoovering attempts via my mother made me cave. We had so much hostility towards each other that I thought being on better terms would make things better. I was a ball of anger, and I hated being that person.

Once we started talking, I felt better. I wasn't as anxious. I had my head above water for once...I was watching for his Narcy tendencies and waiting for him to show his true colors. But I also started doing things for myself again...like exercising and traveling alone. He was out of town for much of the time as well. He invited me on trips which I politely declined. I didn't want that level of involvement

But I thought we were making some progress. He said and did things that actually made me believe that he "got" it. He said he realized he handled things poorly and wanted me to realize that he wasn't that guy. I kept my eyes and ears open. I waited.

Well, I got my answer. He's still a Narc. He pretended to be on a trip helping orphans in India, but I got an email on Friday stating that he was actually on our HONEYMOON! Seriously, who does that?

Clearly, nothing has changed. I should've known better. Let my experience be a lesson to those who are thinking you can be friends or deviate from NC. It doesn't work, and it will bite you in the ass. What I've realized through this journey on this forum is that it's not even personal. I don't even think he was trying to hurt me. I think he's just a selfish, insensitive boob with the emotional IQ of a 3 year old. He didn't give a crap about my feelings. And he never will. Tough lesson to learn, but I do have a sense of humor about it.

Really...from helping orphans to going on our honeymoon? You have to laugh!