Life's too awesome to waste your time thinking about someone who doesn't treat you right.

When we dwell on the negative, we miss out...tune out...the positive. There's a saying that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so choose your friends wisely. I have had my eyes opened very wide this last year....have put several people out of my life who were not really supportive or loving or even concerned with my best interests. It is amazing to me to objectively look at how I allowed people close to me to use and abuse me, all in the name of "friendship". As a result of the N experience, and of putting new healthy boundaries in place...I have unwittingly exposed several other friendships that were manipulative or exploitive. People who are intent on taking from you and who have no intentions of reciprocating will rage when you assert a boundary, and if you remain firm in respecting yourself and expecting others to play fair, it frustrates them and they rage even harder. I have let some people go from my circle of "friends" this last year, beginning with the N. I have felt very blessed to have had this seemingly negative experience because it provided the opportunity to develop the insight and awareness I need to discern who is and who isn't a "friend". I honestly do not know how I could have made it this far in life without having that very basic skill of self protection in place. It frightens me to look back at how vulnerable and giving I had been with the wrong people, with people who would have been happy to keep on taking and taking from me if I had not put a gentle stop to all of that. Seeing someone who you thought was a friend rage at you when you stop allowing them to take from you, forces you to accept the reality of the relationship and decide if this is worth having in your life. This past year, I have gained a lot of strength not so much by developing it but simply by no longer extending myself to people who were draining me.