Long term NC

I wish I could show you my life, how peaceful and quiet it is now. I wish I could share with the newbies some of the calmness I feel everyday now. I breathe easily, I speak my opinions with no fear now, I spend money on myself, I talk to my friends for as long as I like on the phone,
My house is relaxed, my boys are in their rooms talking to friends , playing the guitar, listening to music. There's no drama here anymore. No fear as his headlights appear on the driveway, no worrying whether he's had a drink and driven home, no crying as he says the most horrific things to me.
My journey has been a tough one, as everyone's on here has. Do I still think of him? Yes at times if I'm honest. I remember things we did still and places we visited but very quickly these memories are over shadowed by the memories of abuse that followed and I once again become so thankful that I'm not a cast member in his pantomime anymore.

NC is our gift to ourselves, a key to freedom. In the early days it's so hard not to call them or text just one last time to say our piece and tell them what we think of them. I did it and then spent the rest of the day watching my phone for a response. It was torture. The apology never came.
It never does.
The closure comes from us. My friend said to me at the time " there are 7 billion people in this world and you are allowing one man to control your every thought and action and emotion ???" She was right ! He made me reliant on him.

Through therapy and this site and reading so much, I have learnt what happened to me in my four lost years. But NC is the key.
Give yourself the gift of freedom this Christmas and commit to finding the new amazing you throughout next year. You are worth it!

Lots of festive love and hugs to you all
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