Looking back

Hello everyone,

I hope this message finds you all well and thriving. I was going through my draft email box a little while ago to delete drafts I had composed but never sent. I ran across a draft email I was going to send to exN while we were together. It was an email where I was discussing my issues with him and us. I had mentioned in that email how I walk on eggshells which was the way I spent a lot of that relationship. Anyway, what is interesting about that email was I was going to break it off with him. I looked at the day I saved the draft. It was 1.5 years earlier than when I actually broke it off with him. It was interesting for me to see that I had these feelings about him at minimum 1.5 years before I actually got the strength because I was broken enough to break up with him.

The point of my post is to acknowledge that we all think they are going to change. I thought he would change too which is the reason I never sent the email and why it took me 1.5 years after considering breaking it off with him to actually doing it. What happened to me was I was so broken down that I had nothing left. I was lost, confused, broken and worst of all forgot who I was and what I what. It has been almost 7 months since I broke up with him. I am still working on myself, and I still have thoughts of him. However, I am healing and waiting for the day that I become indifferent. I believe remaining NC and working on myself will achieve that goal. When I am engaging in nostalgia, I pull out the notes I wrote about why I broke up with him. This helps keep me on track.

Ladies and gentlemen. They don't change. Take back your life today. Don't waste another minute of the rest of your life on someone who is unworthy. Begin your road to recovery now so you can begin to live the fantastic life that lies ahead. It may not seem like it is possible right now, but we all are capable of getting there as long as we choose us.