Losing More Than Just The N In The Process

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#1 Jan 21 - 12PM
SavingMyself
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Losing More Than Just The N In The Process

I don't have a big circle of friends bcus I alienated myself during a prior marriage with my introvert Xhub. I stayed estranged from old friends when with Xn too, as it was habit.

It's been 6 months since our breakup and I admit I overly talked about Xn to everyone and exhausted the ones closest to me with constant conversation about him. People cringed at hearing his name.

I'm getting better, not obsessing or talking about him so I've reached out to people who I know intentionally avoided me to avoid hearing about him.. When I texted a gf this morning she replied "I'm an adult and choose to live a drama free life and don't have time for petty bs, life is what you make it."

I didn't want to burden her with my knowledge of realizing he's a Narc and how far I've come in my healing process, as she clearly showed she doesn't want nothing to do with me. I wasn't able to explain that being blind sided by someone I thought loved me, that was only using me, is a harder breakup than a 'normal' breakup.

I'm embarrassed in her apparent lack in wanting to be friends... I'm embarrassed that in honoring myself by deleting mutual Xn friends off facebook, his gf is now friending them.. she even friended his married OW who he's having an affair with (married OW and I were fb friends prior to me know of their affair). It makes me happy to un-involve myself..

I feel like my already small circle is now even smaller.. I literally only have a few people I can truly call a friend, as the rest left my life bcus they were over hearing about him during my most hardest days.

I lost myself in the relationship with him.. I lost myself more in the break up.. now lost people around me..

In the end, how do you heal and look around and no one is there to embarrass the new healthy you?

Jan 25 - 2PM
SavingMyself
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Taking Accountability..

Jan 25 - 2PM (Reply to #9)
Used
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saving

Jan 25 - 6PM (Reply to #11)
TDbfree
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Used, have you ever hear the

Jan 27 - 11AM (Reply to #12)
SavingMyself
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I like that saying

Jan 25 - 6PM (Reply to #10)
SavingMyself
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Thanks Used

Jan 21 - 7PM
Blubutterfly
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Same Here

Jan 23 - 9AM (Reply to #7)
SavingMyself
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Blubutterfly, I understand

Jan 21 - 7PM
Goldie
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Support Group

Jan 21 - 1PM
Used
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feel like my already small

Jan 21 - 1PM
Willow
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There's a saying I've always

Jan 21 - 12PM
Done sourcing
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If you are going to build a

Jan 21 - 12PM
lessonlearned
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it's time to make new friends