luvapug's story

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#1 Apr 23 - 11AM
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luvapug's story

Theresa's story (AKA luvapug)

I posted this in another response on another thread, but figured it is good enough for you to get my story out of it...there is of course more to it AFTER my Fiancee left...but here is the guts of "my story"

I was married to a bipolar, alcoholic, narc. He dragged me through hell and back for 13 years and it took 2 years to divorce him because he was so psycho and manipulative!! Then, I met the second Narc...he was a cop and we hit it off right away...I fell hard and fast...but then he disappeared. he would come back every few months apologizing and promising to change and I took him back a few times. moved here with him and once i arrived, he was gone again....later through mutual friends i met the OW...he flipped flopped with her too!!! He recently texted to profess his love once again...2+ years after the fact. I didnt talk or respond. it was his birthday a few days ago and I did not say a word...another Narc that needed the boot to be out of my life for good!!!

When I met my recent one, he is 9 years younger and pursued me like crazy, I finally gave in just as he was leaving to the military. We wrote every day, talked about our dreams, fears, goals and wishes. He popped the question a year from when we started dating. He moved in immediately one he returned and things started to change. He was always up and down, unhappy, anxious, yhen happy. We would have little fights and he would apologize and reflect and try to change...honestly I wanted to leave during this time!!! but we kept trying and trying, he loved me like crazy (so it seemed) and I slowly began to trust he was different, that he would not hurt me like the last tow...he promised the moon and stars and everlasting adoration.

He had a hard time figuring out what he "wanted to do with his life" He always picked up new hobbies but didnt stick with him, he loved cars and was constantly looking at craigslist and projects and always on a car forum. Those things started fights as well. He went through like 3 "project" cars in the years...i let him do it so he could be happy, nothing worked...he still was bak and forth. he is also unmedicated ADHD. when he was unhappy he would say he was always unhappy and had lied about being happy...when he was happythe oppostite...he didnt seem to know much about what he wanted and I was always worried he would tire of me and go for a younger person who had like interests...i do think he went to figure himself out as part of it...but it was strange that the weekend he left was after he returned from a training for his job, in another town. He said he felt free and liked feeling free and didnt know why and was worried so he needed to leave to figure things out.

This is especially a blow because A.) I KNEW he was immature and indecisive, B.) I could feel him pulling away,b ut he dismissed it as his job, C.) I thought he was honest and in touch with emotions and worked towards change and D.) I told him many times if he was unsure, even a little, to walk away...I have a kid and that he MUST not take this on if he could not follow through with it seems it is no longer his problem and just like that...out of sight out of mind :( Makes me horribly sad :(

Apr 23 - 12PM
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