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  5. Meeting with narc , now messed up .

Meeting with narc , now messed up .

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#1 Aug 9 - 6AM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Meeting with narc , now messed up .

I saw my narc on Thursday when i met the band for my camping trip , we all met at this pub before we set out and he walked in . I was stuck with trying to keep my poise with my new band member friends and having to have a conversation with my narc .I tryed to go vombie like with him but that only made him trun the charm on more He was sickly sweet to me asking me if i was seeing anyone else , saying i looked good and that can we meet up next week when i have more time , he asked me if i wanted to talk about our relationship . ARRRGGGGGGGG! i need a good talking to girls as i have been a mess all weekend .This is his patten of things he has left 3 times now and comes back after a few weeks but i didnt know about NPD before . I do know i am feeling very vanrable right now . Any word of encouragement will be greatly received .
Peru x

Aug 9 - 9AM
baddream
baddream's picture

Be strong

I know how you are feeling. I remember when mine would get so sweet and nice and then I would be having big conflict, part of me thinking I should/needed to go to him, the other part knowing it was just part of his light switch cycle, turning me on and off like that. You are a few more steps ahead of him game now. You know what he is. Let that be your strength now. Do not get together with him to discuss your "relationship". Do not answer his calls and if you do--tell him that you have moved on. This is very difficult to do but you need to tell him to leave you alone and you are moving on. NO CONTACT ..
Aug 9 - 8AM
Jen22
Jen22's picture

Try this article

I just found this webpost, maybe give it a read:) Good luck! http://elissestuart.wordpress.com/2009/01/15/narcissistic-curtain-calls/
Aug 9 - 7AM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

peru

It's a shame that you ran into him like that! Showing no emotion like you couldn't care less in front of him was a good thing. I'm sure you were really taken off guard, but if it happens again, tell him to leave. You may want to tell those close to you that this is a person who is no longer in your life, and you want it to stay that way. It's up to you if you want to give them more information. If they are decent people, they will be respectful of your feelings and leave it at that. It's good to have a plan in your head of what you'll do in certain situations if you happen to run into him so it won't leave you 'stuck' as to what to do or say....or for that matter, what NOT to say, as if he's invisible. This way, the power will be on YOUR side of the fence. (Like you said 'having to have a conversation'...feeling more prepared will help you not feel like you HAVE to do anything). I don't live near mine, so I'm really lucky, so I feel for you having to deal with the possibility of seeing him. If at all possible, avoid places that you know he frequents. I know it sucks making adjustments to what YOU want to do, but I would say until you feel you've built up your resiliency, it might be necessary, so you don't have all of these constant interruptions in your healing.
Aug 9 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

perutoo

remember - you are not out of the brainwashing & mind control yet by any means and just seeing him and/or hearing his voice triggers it all again. make a list - nice things he did/ cruel & bad things he did. I bet the latter is longer. Put it where you can see it. Get back on the NO CONTACT wagon with this predator and discuss this in therapy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily Online Coaching for Victims of Narcissists/ Psychopaths
Aug 10 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
Marie
Marie's picture

Stay strong

Perutoo, I remember all too clearly how mine came back around all sweet trying to make it seem like all was well. Then he dumped me again. You have to remember those feelings because he will do it again especially since he's done it 3 times before. This is the hardest part of getting on with your life and healing. He will try and say anything to keep you under his control and that's all it's about. Mine was so cold to me the last time I saw him and that's the image I will keep in my mind forever. That this is his true self not the smiling, charming man I fell in love with. Do not contact him or discuss the relationship. He will only twist things all around and make you think it was all your fault. You don't need to get back on the roller coaster to hell, life can be so much better and you deserve more.