The Men in My Life

Sadly, I think every man that's been in my life has had at least some of these traits. My dad and brother and cousins...which I guess explains why I "match" up to people like that. Although, on the outside, I am way more social than these guys and am attracted to very social extroverted men. But...high school boyfriend, college boyfriend, guy I dated just long enough to get harassed and stalked by him for five years including physical attacks, mentor/emotional relationship with my first boss, hot guy I dated before H (but it wasn't serious) ...then H who doesn't fit in the pattern but is an abuser anyway...and finally the toxic icing on my cake, my last N, my soulmate that I actually broke my principles for.

Nice. On the outside none of these people seem...deranged. Except for the stalker, of course. And actually I had some amazing times with all of them (except H, I never had that intense thing with him which led me to believe it would be SAFE with him!!). Fire and Ice. The best thing about the relationship with my N, is that it made me look back at R's before my marriage and go...WTF is happening????

College Boy: first love, great relationship that other people were JEALOUS of...right at the point normal people would probably get engaged, he dumps me. Then it was on and off again for a couple of years, til I got disgusted enough. Oh, and I'd met...

Mentor Man: I was trying to finish college but didn't have any direction, I was in tatters because the stalker was being so successful...worked for this guy and we were sooo connected. I changed my major, interned for him (it was his company) there was never anything beyond a friendship but as an adult I'd say we were emotionally involved. He'd just gone thru a divorce, and I had my own problems and we enjoyed each other without having any responsibility to each other and we both dated other people and so on. He "dated" LOTS of people ;) Women threw themselves at him. But we were best buds. Although a lot of people assumed we were married, we just seemed married and very in tune with each other. Until I graduated and was on an "equal" level with him and not his little Girl Friday anymore, and he turned on me with a vengeance. I quit that job finally, angry and jaded.

Husband: Mr Happy Go Lucky nice guy. Don't have an intense emotional connection with him, hey, maybe this is how grownups do it. Nice sane solid relationship. Married Jekyll and came home with Hyde.

Rescuer: N was going to make it all better now. Soul mates. Oops. Not. The end.