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Met a NICE MAN

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#1 Jun 9 - 6AM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

Met a NICE MAN

I had been emailing a fellow for 6 months and finally we met yesterday, we were not able to talk very long because he had to head back to his town, for work, another 6 hours away. He was passing through my town on his way back from visiting his older kids, I have no clue whether we can make this work or how to make it work ,because it is a long distance, and I do not know if he wants to make it work, but irregardless of all this speculation, it was a pleasure to be in the company of a normal man and I felt like the universe had let some joy into my life in the 2 plus years since the narc dumped me.You realize how deep the poison goes with these men. we talked about relationships and I mentioned the narc only briefly and he understood it all,

Jun 11 - 2AM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

Yes you are not marrying him

Yes you are not marrying him YET yes you are not sleeping with him YET. but your headed that way because you have already cast him as NICE. I good man wouldnt show up exhausted to a first date he would make an effort on another occasion. His son trashed his place, looks like hes looking for a pity dump and a warm body. I would be extra careful.... AS I said theres a man in your town you could befreind.. long distance after what you have been through is just not an option. too many oppotunities for double dealing .... start loving you more.
Jun 10 - 2PM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

fooled no longer and smitten kitten

i appreciate what you both have to say BUT I am not marrying the guy,moving in with him, sleeping with him, we met for an hour and i could tell he was totally exhausted dealing with his older son trashing his house he has in another town, That being said, i do have to watch that I am not carrying the burden of a relationship, which it is not even tha,t at this point.I know I have to let him make more of the moves and time will tell, meanwhile I am in touch with other men and more than willing to meet different guys and may the best man win!!!He did not seem like a narc and my radar is up on that one and my gut kicks in now and i listen to that, unlike with the exnarc, where it was kicking and screaming and i just ignored it.It has been so long in the desert for 2 plus years maybe i am starving for affection, who knows!!
Jun 10 - 11AM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

This also worries me, I see

This also worries me, I see hoe open and willing you are to take him at face value. you are already trying to imagine and work out can it work long distance you are already taking ownership of this as a relationship.. BIG QUESTION is Is he doinf tis, is he asking those tough questions. Is he risking? Is he working out how or if it could work, by your own words he is not.. Heis just going with the flow, keeping all his options open. He waits to see his kids and then throws you in as a sweetner. If he was really interested convience woulnt enter the picture. You are imagining and ready to give. You can get sucked into a situation that does not work for you here. HE MUST DO THE RUNNING< HE MUST DO THE ASKING. if not hes just not that into you. keep seeing other people dontringfence yourself fo him. You are already painting him as a nice person how much do you know about him. Men can fool you big time this way. specially long distance from the start. he sounds like hes more work. Do you need that. theres a man in your town you just gotta be yourself and have fun. if this guy is good then keep him as a friend. * with no benefits) till he shows hes worth more time. he is already testing you. please remeber how much hell the last two hears have been, dont throw all that hard work away on another dodgy man. i agree do some snooping run some checks. get his DOB and google him.
Jun 10 - 12PM (Reply to #9)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I'm glad I'm not the only one

I hate to rain on someone's parade, but my Red Flag alert is going off right now.
Jun 9 - 2PM
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

OK, I hate to be the big

OK, I hate to be the big party pooper here, but be careful! This is how I got into trouble with my exN as did quite a few other women here. LDR that started online. I too thought he was a nice guy, not only when I finally saw him again after 28 years, but back in school and during the whole time we were just friends on FB. So did my friends, so does everybody. That is his persona and he pulls it off well. If I were single and open to meeting new men, I would do a background check this time around. Seriously. All you know of him is what he has told you.
Jun 9 - 3PM (Reply to #6)
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

Smitten Kitten

If anything even comes of it, I will take it REAL slow, thanks for the concern, , as we live a long distance from each other........I have met plenty or creeps online and even some i did not meet!
Jun 9 - 11PM (Reply to #7)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

OWL

It is a great story, shows you're not totally jaded and still have hope even if it doesn't work out...it does the mind good to see or at least still be able to believe that not all men are the spawn of satan. Hugs!
Jun 9 - 12PM
jen79
jen79's picture

good!!!!

Great news!!!! Its time onwithmylife!!!! Me too, I am now more open again, at least I look in people's eyes again. lool. I am happy for you!!! Better than writing cards to this ungrateful narc ex of yours!!!
Jun 9 - 9AM
Lobo555
Lobo555's picture

Yay!

They *are* out there! Even if he just stays a platonic friend, that's good. You can never have too many friends -- male or female. I have a lot of kind, compassionate, wonderful male friends. They are a treasure.
Jun 9 - 9AM
terri
terri's picture

atta girl!!

WHAT??? You did not mention this! Wonderful news and I'm so happy that you had this experience. Would love to hear all about it.

Believe in yourself!
Terri

Jun 9 - 7AM
spinning
spinning's picture

OWML!!!! This is awesome news

and good for you! Wherever it goes, you have met a nice friend who you can communicate with and maybe more! I am so happy for you. You have worked so hard to get over the N and deserve something good and fun to happen to you! When we finally let them go good things come in! I hope you have a beautiful day! Love and light to all who come here from (NOT) spinning. NO LONGER AN OPTION. THE SICK MF'ER TRIED HARD BUT HE COULDN'T TAKE ME DOWN!

spinning