The Methods of Brainwashing from a Personal Perspective

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Anonymous (not verified)
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The Methods of Brainwashing from a Personal Perspective

I wanted to share something with everyone, quite frankly I have been too ashamed up until now to tell, it took some courage to post this.

We wonder HOW in the world we get entangled with these creatures, it truly is cult like behavior with the slow pursuasion they display.

Mine of course hunts for one thing, different sexual encounters and group encounters, as I am sure many of them do. During the last phases of our conversations some time back, he once asked me "besides me in the past many years who have you been with, I told him NOBODY, he said gee thats a shame all that good F---ing going to waste. I told him you were supossidly my night and shining armor and that turned to shit, he then replied Are you always this depressed? He informed me many times during the course of our relationship that I just needed to get over my jealousy and insecure issues I had and then you will find the f--k fests fun, and you can still love your partner and have a great time exploring sex with other couples with your partner, nothing changes, I will still love you just as much after, in fact I will love you more. I told him you are capable of doing such acts because you have no conscience and emotional connection to anyone including your GF. He said look where being all moral and decent got you, sexually frustrated and depressed when really you just need your brains f---k by lots of men and women and who wouldnt enjoy that. This is just a small sample of his tactics and brainwashing he used on me, I was told to just try it once and if you dont like it, fine but I guarantee you will love it, three men focusing on just you and your needs, you will be treated like a queen. The only reason people dont do this is because they are too damn insecure and jealous and dont want anyone touching their wives.

You see as he went on, my GF is not the jealous type at all, she is game to it and would really get into you because you are soo beautiful, and my gf would love to watch me screw you she gets off on it.

So putting that all aside this is how their sick little minds work - just like the leader of a cult, I am sure no doubt he has managed to get quite a few fall in love with him and then slowly get them brainwashed enough to partake in such sick shit. Interesting how he calls me depressed, jealous and insecure to shift the blame to me because I happen to have morals. I ended up telling him ya I could probably do those things with you easily now, and he said, GOOD, what changed your mind and I said, Because I no longer love you and you mean nothing to me anymore. I told him in the future if I did want to experiment that it would never be with you (even though I never would do that) I got over my jealousy with you because you never loved me, and you killed all the love I ever had for you, so go at it, hump who you want until your cold hearts content, use, abuse, cheat,lie, and mind fuck others, but I will never be apart of that sick world, it would never sustain me as it does you. I told him I will never lower myself and my dignity as a human being to the level of human you are. You are amoral and I am moral, you like the low road, and I like the high road and there is nothing wrong with me in any way for being who I believe in, but there is something very wrong with you and I will not give in to your sickness. I think that makes me better than you now doesnt it, stay at the bottom with the filth and rot for the rest of your life for all I care, it seems to be the only thing you truly enjoy

whatever2009
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amazed...
Its amazing how we listen to this "way of thinking" and we end up still sticking around. I use to think there is no way he could really be so thoughtless/and stupid. I use to think it was a cover for his "real" feelings. Im so broken, so broken, confused, feel stupid etc...etc...My friends use to say "please dont get sucked back in". I feel incredibly low these days, as I just dont understand how I let this go on for so long. My therapist said being up and down is part of healing. But I know he is terrible, so why cant I just get over it. Yes he is pathalogical, but I KNOW THIS...so I should just move on. The biggest problem I face, is picturing him with someone else...(but then I read the posts on how they will treat the other women)..and I remember this is the best thing for me. On top of that I beleive that I will never get better, and today I continue to struggle.
Barbara (not verified)
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whatever2009
you're rollercoastering and you're beating yourself up (later not good) NC! it's only been a few months... unless you ALLOWED CONTACT - which means back to square one. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture
Most of that was said months
Most of that was said months ago, and replays in my head like its yesterday...however he did ambush call me on xmas eve and started rambaling on about how I didnt give him closure. I didnt say anything, I was speechless. I said, I had to go and hung up, then I freaked out. I felt physically ill afterwards. Like really....closure?!?! Yes I am beating myself up, Im trying to shake the "feeling stupid" aspect, and rebuild my self esteem. My new therapist says we will get there, but I guess I just feel it should be faster. My N was in and out of my life for only 2 years...we have no children together, you ladies have had it so much worse. What made you so strong? Any tips? My best friends say Im the strongest person they know, which scares me, because I dont feel that way.Im currently reading, how to break your addiction to a person, for some extra tips. Yes, I am struggling. Yes I am beating myself up, and its such a horrible feeling. My emotions are clouding my logic which then makes me crazy. Im doing it to myself at this point. And all of the sudden, I was fine before.
Barbara (not verified)
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tips for healing?
I have said it took me FOUR YEARS... (the relationship wasn't that long but that's how long the deprogramming took) my tips? STAY IN THERAPY JOURNAL - DAILY NO CONTACT - you're now back to square one. Either get a new phone number/ cell number or ask the phone/ cell companies to block him (tell them he's your ex-abuser and you need this done ASAP!) Medication when needed NO ONE in your life that doesn't support you and: http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/04/10/rigorous-honesty-first-rule-recovery ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture
Really hit home for me...
These are bang on for me: "They just want to go back to what feels 'normal' -- which is often dysfunction" I feel that way sometimes. and "Then you think since you gave in, and you really don't have what it takes to end this and leave anyway -- so you "sigh" and resign yourself to just living in the hell" I did this for sooooooooooooo long.
Barbara (not verified)
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relapsing
aren't you still doing it? whatever - he "ambushed" you with a call... ok so did you HANG UP ON HIM or TALK TO HIM AND TRY TO REASON WITH HIM TO GO AWAY... http://www.lisaescott.com/2009/12/29/disordered-thinking hmmm???? DID YOU CHANGE YOUR NUMBER or are you just HOPING HE TAKES THE HINT??? you realize you've just told him EXACTLY HOW TO GET TO YOU... and that you are BACK TO SQUARE ONE? http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/04/14/pain-stinks-dont-go-through-it-nothing and of course now that you've had that 'tiny hit of him you've been secretly craving' your brainwashing/ programming is flipped back ON so you are depressed, wondering when it will end, beating yourself up... all the shit he's programmed you to do... Start REREADING WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS --- AGAIN!!! and CHANGE YOUR NUMBER AND get a RESTRAINING ORDER FOR GOSH SAKE!! ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture
honestly...
I just told him to stop it, we have different ideas of what a relationship should be. Then I hung up. How did I tell him exactly how to get to me? I will reread it AGAIN... It just really pisses me off that I have to change my life to get him out of it. I guess being stubborn is getting me into more trouble.
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture
whatever2009
you told him by PICKING UP THE PHONE and saying ANYTHING. he got what he wanted... a REACTION!! Change your number immediately. the SECOND you hear his voice... you should have HUNG UP!!!! you have to change your life to keep people like him away from you and set better boundaries for yourself - which means SELF-ESTEEM BUILDING. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
cynthia (not verified)
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SO TRUE
You are going to make a good professional counselor, you are soo right, that is all they want to know their victims respond to them in anyway, shape or form. Mine played that sick game with me, if he didnt hear from me for a week he would call and just as long as I called him back even though we never connected that is all he needed to know I was still there and responded to him, they smile and say to themselves, I still got her, I still have this victim interested in me in some way, any way they dont care. Of course I was an idiot and all my attempts of telling him I am not interested or dont call me anymore, was only what he wanted to hear. Like my counselor said, its like an umbilical cord, CUT IF OFF FOREVER and NEVER LOOK BACK and never contact him even years down the line because he will punish you for it.
cynthia (not verified)
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My best friends say Im the strongest person they know,
You are strong and that is a good thing. My counselor told me I was a very strong person also despite me sitting there crying hysterically. You will need strength on your side and you have it within yourself to recover, count that a blessing.
cynthia (not verified)
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so why cant I just get over it.
Even with the knowledge we know and for all the money in the world I would never go back to him, yes we struggle to get over it. Instead of saying "why cant I get over HIM", I say we are recovering from exposure from an individual that was pathological, NOT HEALTHY, remove HIM from your thoughts as I do and try and focus on what his disorder did to us. Knowing how a person that has this disturbance does to others is NO reflection on us whatsoever. We are recovering from the illness they try to trap others in. When you picture him with others they too are being exposed to their disorder - do you want to be in their shoes? What we fail to see is we are rising above their deception and the truth of what they really are and those still stuck with them dont want to swallow the bitter pill and leave for whatever reasons. There are not 10 reasons, or 20 reasons to leave such a person, there is only ONE REASON in my book: BECAUSE THEY ARE PATHOLOGICAL and that means they are disordered, so its bye bye now, you will not cause disorder in my precious life. For those that want to stay with them and find that type of existence exciting or satisfying, hey have at it, the liar, and cheat is all yours, hope you find it rewarding and worth all the pain they cause, because personally it about killed me. I believe we will get better but only by truly recognizing a person of this disturbance will never give me what I desire in a partner or even friend for that matter. Being with a partner that brainwashes you and others is absolutely SICK and VERY dangerous, Charles Manson comes to mind. I read many times that the road in extracting yourself from a pathological person is very long and hard and that is where we are, we are on that long and hard road finding truth, and you know what they say, the truth will set you free.
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture
You are very lucky to have
You are very lucky to have gotten away from him. This is cult like behavior and many people don't survive it. A buddhist monk in California had a sexual mentality like that, got AIDS and deliberately had sex with a number of men and women in his temple and 75 people died of AIDS. You might wonder if they simply can't feel so they explore and over exaggerate the sexual experience. You were normal he was the 'problem' person. You have nothing to feel ashamed about you were involved with someone who had a great deal of manipulative power and then you got away. Don't stay tied to him in anyway and that includes memory, shame, worry, fear. Let him go he is crazy.
Amazed
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Cynthia yes they try to derail your values and thinking
They try to derail your values and thinking to theirs. Here in is the brainwashing technique. And loss of identity, and capability to think for oneself, onslaught of self doubt, and dependence in their reactions "is everything okay, did I do something to upset you" or walking on eggshells constantly with the pathological soul draining imbesels. They think differently from you and I, and do not perceive relationships the same way. As I mentioned to the OW, you and I have the cabability to love. We know how to give, to care, to be sensitive, to love. These guys do not,,DO NOT have the CAPABILITY whatsoever. They will brainwash you with all sorts of mal-associations that depreive you of your GOOD. They KNOW they are NOT GOOD PEOPLE INSIDE and that they are diferent from everyone else because of this. They will try to CORRUPT you, this is NEVER POSITIVE. They will have you so wrapped into their delirium, it is very difficult to extract oneself from their manipulation. YES,,it is funny, most of their manipulation seems to revolve around something SICK and sexual. Be grateful to be the person you are. Stay far away from the N, and once again, be grateful for the person you are.
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture
ISNT THAT THE TRUTH
YES,,it is funny, most of their manipulation seems to revolve around something SICK and sexual. What they wont say to get it too, I have heard some real woppers let me tell you, like he would love me more if I had three ways with him, ha ha ha what a joke, he must think I am 13 years old to have me believe that one, like I am going to say, you will? Wow I better do it then, what a moron. They are like little demons and devils that think they are fooling everyone when they are really laughable, "I am too insecure" ? That is why I wont have 3 men screw me at the same time. ha ha ha no the reason I wont have three men screw me at the same time is because I am not a whore, or prostitute you dumb ass, it has nothing to do with insecurity, they really are stupid once we know their behavior.