Minor setback to a quiet calm

Minor setback and then a quiet calm.

I found out that the XNH had moved in his girlfriend of a few months. They got a puppy.

Although I expected something like this to happen it still hit me hard - it was like a kick in the gut. The ink on our divorce papers was barely dry. The 23 years we spent together pushed away so quickly.

I had visions of them romping happily in MY house. Having family dinners with MY son and MY in-laws. It kept me up at night.

After a few days of wallowing in pain and self pity it hit me - all the things I had read/learned here came to mind:
He is doing what the typical N does.
He needed his supply.
It had nothing to do with me.
He is a shell of a man with no true feelings for anyone but himself.

I was comforted then in knowing that I had made the right decision to leave. He was never going to change and he would never know what it is like to truly love - it is his loss not mine.

All I lost in leaving is the pain, the heartbreak, the uncertainty of my relationship and my life.

I am so thankful to this forum for helping me realize that I am worth it. I have gained so much more - my self respect, my peace and my grace.