mjsimp's story

I just broke up with my narc

Hi, this is my first time doing something like this, so I hope I'm doing it right. I ended my relationship with my N 2 weeks ago today. I did not realize what I was dealing with until a few months ago. I had been in the relationship for 1&1/2 years. He was always rough around the edges and was not very good with words. I have always been drawn to the "bad boy" type. Well anyway he was very sweet and sexy for a time. He had been in a 1/2 way house for fraud, he used that to hook me, as I like to help people. He acted like he was very sorry for what he had done and seemed truly like he wanted a real chance to change his life. Needless to say I fell for it hook, line and sinker. He was always needing me to loan him money for one reason or another. He would get construction jobs but never seemed to get paid. He would admit he was needy and sometimes brag about being a good liar. I would always try to encourage him to have more faith in himself and to tell the truth. He used every tactic in the book to get what he wanted. He tried to manipulate my mother and did for a time. She let him stay with her as my job would not allow him to live with me. I'm a "foster parent". My agency did their background check on him and was not concern with him being around the kids as they are teenagers. So they even gave him a chance. He was great with the kids, they really liked him. He would talk to them about drugs and about peer pressure. They seemed to respect his view. He was a great liar! I mean he could just lie right off the top of his head. I broke up with him before and it was not a good scene. I gave it one more chance and well here I am. I finally started to look at how he could be so loving and caring one minute and then so cold the next. His anger at me was getting more and more. He never hit me or threatened to. He just started getting critical about everything I did. When things would slow down he would return to his mom's 300 miles away under the pretense that he had a crisis to deal with. then when I would get paid he would return again. I finally figured out what he was doing.I could go on and on here about his lying, manipulation, and emotional abuse and the gas lighting tactics This time I did it in the best positive way I could think of because I did not want to engage his wrath. He has tried to call me once during the last 2 weeks. He kept calling for 3 days when I stopped answering the phone, wanting me to talk to him. I just couldn't because I hadn't seen him for a month,because he his car broke down and I didn't have the money to send him. He started to degrade me and the relationship and we fought a lot over the phone. I just could not take it anymore.I tried to tell him but of course he said I was just being negative. Anyway I need to know does that mean that he has given up? I picked this time because he has no car now and has no real way to get at me. So should I assume that all is clear and that he has moved on? Your response is welcome!