N v. P
N v. P
I often wonder about the differences between Narcissists and Psychopaths.
I believe that I was involved with a narcissist for 2 years and then fell prey to a psychopath (tho I hate to say that word because that means I was in love with one).
I know that there is a spectrum. That all psychopaths are narcs, but not all narcs are psychopaths.
Sometimes when I'm on this board, I get very confused because I read about both, I think. And I was with both. But they were VERY different people. Very. So I almost feel like I should be on two separate message boards.
Susan32 always says that the narc is oblivious, but the psychopath is deliberate. I believe this. I also think the psychopath is more intentionally sadistic. I think this is key. Any thoughts??
I think this might very well be the main difference.
My N fits Lisa's description of a narc. He came off like a pious Mormon, but turned into Mr. Hyde when I disagreed with him about a painting. No joke. He liked it. I didn't. I was now vomit to him. It was a shocking transformation
!!!
He was super entitled. His motto was "my way or the highway" (he literally said this to me.) He devalued and discarded me every three months. Then the next day I was the love of his life. And he could be cold and mean and very stubborn. He could D&D and never look back.
BUT he did NOT lie or cheat. And he was not purposefully trying to mess with my head. He was, rather, what I would call "mercurial." He had a conscience, but no empathy for me at all when we were together. But he was human.
The suspected P, on the other hand, was a liar, cheater, manipulator extraordinaire. He fucked with my head (I think!!!???, cause when your head is being fucked with, you are never *quite* sure, which is what makes it a mindfuck. But I know.).
He had what seemed like empathy (an act), but clearly, no conscience about his blatant lying, cheating and mindfucking.
He is NOT a D&Der, but waits to see how much you can take, and when you say "enough" does everything to manipulate you back masterfully. Like a GAME. He never lets go. He is a collector. He will always check up on me forever. BUT he was always fun, easygoing, and never overtly mean
They are SO different. It was the second one that brought me bere, but the first one fits Lisa's description more so of a "narc" and, gawd, how I wish I had found this site when I was being yo-yo'd by him.
Anyway, I see a lot of Ps around here too. When I read about the games and manipulations and lying, my N doesn't fit into that. That stuff seems more like a P. But maybe I'm wrong.
So, do you think your Narc was more of a straight narc? Or a more of a psychopath?
Sorry this got so long! It's just something I've been thinking about since I came here. And I've never shared my story, but I guess that suffices.
How I saw the difference
I think there can be some
It hits home
Good question
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I think both...
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