NARC IS CHANGING!!!
NARC IS CHANGING!!!
I know I go on and on about the OW and I know all of you understand and you have been tough and kind about it. Both things I need. However, I want to share this with all of you and WELCOME any input you have on this. A gut feeling is something that we women just "have" it is a real thing. My gut tells me that my exn and the ow are the REAL DEAL. I know it sounds almost impossible because of so many factors that would go against it, but I swear to you that my exn has really changed!!!!!
We speak now about a schedule change or such about my daughter and he is very nice, understanding but yet detached from me. He shows NO interest in me where as before he wanted me to at "least" want him. NOT anymore at all. He makes it clear he is NOT interested in anything with me any further. We had been still sleeping together for close to 9 months after we split up and he was seeing ow. I stopped it and nothing has happened since and he makes it clear he doesn't want that now, just her. Anyway, being so nice and agreeable????? Not the man I knew. He spends every moment he has with her and takes my daughter over to her home now when she is there with her boys every other week. It is like they are now merging into one big happy family. I know he enjoys her rich lifestyle and can't blame him, however, I believe it is more than that. This woman allows him to be himself, doesn't try to change him like I did to love him, she loves him as is. This is a huge thing for him. Granted, he is NOT acting the way with her as he did with me, but I don't see a need for him to treat her badly if she isn't questioning him or not admiring him. Which I believe she constantly does and feels it. She is just easy going type of woman who allows him his freedom and because of that he wants to be with her more and treats her in the way that I begged to be treated. In our marriage he said he felt trapped, he doesn't feel trapped now, so I guess that means he wants to give it freely to "her" but because I demanded it I did not get it. It truly appears that my exn has reflected on things from our past broken relationship and is DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY AND BETTER. He is stepping up to the plate and being a very good boyfriend. The kind of partner I wish I had in him. It has been almost two years since they have been together, I would believe the honeymoon period has ended so this is REAL. He sees this woman with status and class (cheater in my book no class) but he sees her in some angel light and I'm pretty damn sure this woman with nothing else on her plate but to be there for him at anytime with no job responsiblilities and all the money she needs to be independent has managed to "change" my exn into the man I wanted. I believe that he didn't take divorce well and even though doesn't admit to me it was a failure on his part as well, he does think that and now he has changed his entire attitude and is working on being a good man, father and is NOW treating me with respect. It is good, but at same time makes me sick. Like who the hell is this man and what the hell did ow do to him that I couldn't?????? I know that they can put on an act and morph into situations, however, this has been going on awhile now and he just gradually gets better and better and seems like he is growing up and getting what it is all about now. If this was meant to be, It was, I just find it hard to take as they got together in such a horrible way and hurt our children not just spouses. I read so much that a union such as this has NO way of making it or like a 1% chance. It would figure in with the luck I have that my exn will be one of the ones that beats those odds and he will give this woman the life I wanted and maybe this sounds bad, but I did deserve it. Our daughter deserved for him to act this way for us, not some woman who was married and cheated before and was unhappy in her marriage so they decided hey. lets dump them and hook up because we would be great for each other. Turns out that they were, but it sure eats me up inside to see him changing into a "normal" person because of her and the life he wants that must be so much better than what I offered him.
Thanks for listening and would appreciate any input you have whether it be harsh and hard or gentle. I need to know what you all think here? Is my gut and the changes I SEE in him the real deal possibly or is it my fears that I wasn't enough and she IS the perfect woman for him and that is all it took to get him to behave like a normal man. What he said all along he was looking for and he has found her????