Narc & the OW

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#1 Jun 2 - 2PM

Kiwi2005

Narc & the OW

I recently told a friend this and she suggested I share it. For those of you struggling with the OW, or wanting to warn the OW, this is for you:

Your trash is soon to be another woman's treasure...

I know it sounds bad and you should want to warn, but in the end that would backfire on you... so look at it as ^^^ that.

#2 Jun 3 - 1PM

helldweller

Kiwi

My old neighbor just told me today that the ceiling fell in on the room the narc said was going to be my writing room in "our" house--that he moved into behind my back, without my daughters and me. I was the worst one to give things time; I wanted karma pronto. But you know what? Give it just a little time. :) Don't worry. It all fails for them. The only thing you have to worry about is how YOU are going to spend your time while it fails for him. Remember: a watched pot never boils.

#3 Jun 2 - 6PM

desperatelyseek...

SoaperGirl, i'm right there with you

I've never considered myself to be a "mean" person but I feel the same way you do. I want his fraud of a relationship to fail. I want him to end up alone and miserable, because that's what he put me through. It's only natural to want justice for what's been done to us. Especially when it seems like the person who perpetrated all these crimes has moved on and is "happy" with someone else. And I always think, I would feel so much better if I could just hurt him back the way he hurt me. Maybe we never will get our justice, but it's not mean to want it. Maybe just knowing that we have the capacity to lead lives that are so much richer and more loving than the lives these shitheads have created will have to be justice enough.... Don't feel bad! Don't hold yourself responsible for what he's done.

#4 Jun 2 - 7PM (Reply to #17)

SoaperGirl

desperatelyseek...Thank you and wondering about stalking

Without a doubt I realize I'm far better off without him...so yes, I've been praying for justice, a lot! I have read quite a bit about the experiences of women who lived with or married their narc, and suffered dearly for it. I'm actually doing quite well and have little to complain about. He's left me alone, totally silent and living with OW. I don't think I have PTSD much if at all. I was fortunate enough to be nearly 2,000 miles away during our LDR and most of the time he kept his mask on. Thinking back I did see flashes of his real self from time to time when I caught him off guard. Heck, I'd be pleased as punch if he were drop dead tomorrow. It would be fine by me. BTW, can anybody tell me how I might determine if my narc is stalking me on the web? How would I know? I do have a couple of websites where I featured him...What possible reason could he have? Just a few little things that seem a little quirky..nothing specific. Just curious. Do I feel threatened or afraid. No. Absolutely not. I feel safe. There have times I have felt like he is maintaining me on his list for NS when his present situation goes kaput. I just don't know. I'm speculating. Sometimes, esp on my blog (which he knows about), I get the feeling he's out there quietly watching me and waiting (for what I have no idea)..maybe it's just my imagination..I have no real reason to think he is stalking, but if he was, how I could I find that out?

#5 Jun 2 - 6PM

Monica

My N asked me...what if I introduce you to Sue??

He asked me what I would say to her. He asked, "What if she said that I am great and a terrific and nice guy?" I told him I would tell her, "You believe that now. Here is my phone number. Call me in 2 years." He could not believe I would tell her that. I would tell her that. He wanted to invite us both to a party at his house (which he has not settled on and probably never will.) I told him he was better off NOT inviting me - and I would not come anyway - because I would not be silent if he introduced me to the OW. I do not lie.

#6 Jun 2 - 10PM (Reply to #15)

Ladydb123

I remember

Monica, I had a similar experience involving my Narc exh. He brought his new lady to my home to introduce her to me and our son and announce that they were engaged. She was all smiley faced and a happy little camper. I just sat there looking at them. I finally asked her how long she had known my ex, she said some # of yrs. Which put her in his life while I was still married to him. All I said "I hope you know what you are getting into". She called me some years later to say "She was sorry, sh didn't listen to me". We are great family friends now, because she is my son's Step Mom.

#7 Jun 2 - 5PM

Ladydb123

OW

And guess what she will be trash when he get through with her, you can bank on it........He's her problem now.

#8 Jun 2 - 6PM (Reply to #3)

SoaperGirl

Does it sound mean that I wish it was now rather than later?

I know the narc's relationship with the OW is doomed (it's moving toward the 4 month mark I'm guessing). approximately 3 months, 19 days excluding the end date, or 15 weeks rounded down). Does it sound terrible that I wish that "relationship" would crash and burn now rather than later? I can't help wishing I was a little fly on the wall and could see how the "relationship" is playing out. The honeymoon stage should have ended already. Could he be in full narc mode,or still playing the part of being the perfect partner? Sure I miss the dream of what I thought was an offer on the table...the illusion, but i know none of it was real, and I think I've adjusted to that. I don't need him back and from what I've read that is definitely for the best. I'm not crying my eyes or anything over him. I guess I would just like to see the basturd completely destroyed, and everything he tries to fail! I wish nothing good would happen to him. lol. I want to see him crash and burn at everything he tries! Yeah, I'm being melodramatic, but I know you get my drift.

#9 Jun 3 - 9AM (Reply to #5)

Lobo555

Right there with ya, SoaperGirl!

CharlieSheenWinning is 2 1/2 mons. into a quickie marriage with NewWinningWife. Can't wait until the implosion. I think I'll be able to hear it from across town, it will be so bad! :) According to CSW's best friend, the two lovebirds have been drunk the entire time they've known each other, so once the hangover sets in you'll hear: a) Narc getting his b) Me laughing Yes, it's mean but not half as mean as the way he treated me for years. I'm like a kid at Christmas, anxious to see what SantaNarc has brought!

#10 Jun 3 - 11AM (Reply to #11)

SoaperGirl

Keep us advised

I don't have any way to keep up on my narc - no sources really, but that's okay. I'm moving on, and I've already seen enough to know there's far better men out there. Let us know what happens when your narc and his OW have their meltdown. Thanks!

#11 Jun 3 - 6PM (Reply to #13)

Ladydb123

Soaper Girl

I ran across a site called Reputation.com it appears that it lets you see what's out there about some of these men. I don't use alot of these sites because they just want your money. Up to now I have been able to use free public records to keep myself safe. Moving on is good also.....

#12 Jun 3 - 12PM (Reply to #12)

Lobo555

Oh you'll know

You'll hear me laughing! :):):) Yes, I'll post the gory details. I'll know when he returns to hoover, saying she's "crazy" and he shouldn't have let me go. Uffdah. :/

#13 Jun 3 - 11AM (Reply to #6)

snarky174

Charlie Sheen Bugs Me...

I am appalled by the people that got out and supported him. Women especially. ... On a radio program many called in stating they could be the one to "tame" him... True he is an animal... but seriously ladies - ? Why is it that we blame the woman for his bad behavior and think... it was her... he has me now. Why is it that we think that she may have caused him to behave that way... Would you put up with that behavior from him? NOOOOO you are stronger etc. etc. - when in fact they are so good, you don't know it's happening until you are riding or driving your very own crazy bus. I used to judge... now when I hear a man call a woman crazy- I ask- were you driving? It's something we all should examine because we don't think our first instinct when you see the "good" persona is that it's her not him... or turn the other way when we see a woman that is definately being controlled.

#14 Jun 3 - 11AM (Reply to #7)

Lobo555

You know who thought Charlie Sheen was great?

Yep, you guessed it -- the narc! Hence his nickname, CharlieSheenWinning. He's a supporter of Mr. Tiger Blood himself and has the same *winning* traits. I've heard him call his exwife and exgirlfriends "crazy" -- I never believed him. I know some of them and they are not crazy -- they just won't put up with his shite. :) There is a guy who was interested in dating me, but he bad-mouthed his ex on a couple of occasions, so I never agreed to a date. Too much anger. I don't want anger. I agree with you, we need to keep this in mind and be careful.

#15 Jun 3 - 11AM (Reply to #8)

Used

lobo555

do you have a story up.

#16 Jun 3 - 11AM (Reply to #9)

Lobo555

Oh yeah

I have a helluva story up! :) Not as bad as a lot of these folks, though. Gonna post on the forum -- I'd posted it in Share Your Story by mistake.

#17 Jun 3 - 11AM (Reply to #10)

Used

i thought they were suppose

i thought they were suppose to be on share your story...no wonder i can never find any....i think 1-3 is confusing..if you press an arrow it says asending if you dont they are all over the place...

#18 Jun 2 - 6PM (Reply to #4)

Littleone

My Ns cycle is about 4-5

My Ns cycle is about 4-5 years. He starts showing his true colors progressively from about a year. The female on the recieving in is a broken shell by the end of it. Mine doesn't have another supply yet that I know of, I'm not looking forward to it. Everything will look peachy and perfect for YEARS and I'll have to sit back and wait. Not only that, I'll probably have to hand my child over to them by that stage..... Ugh

#19 Jun 2 - 2PM

Hunter

Trash to treasure!!

Trash to treasure!! Hahaha! Hunter

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