Narcissism + Commitment Phobia?

CharlieSheenWinning told me for years he didn't want a relationship. Then he told me he was still not over his ex-fiance who dumped him two years prior. I broke things off after hearing that. Then THREE WEEKS LATER he MARRIED another woman -- not me, not his ex-fiance. He married a woman he knew for only those three weeks after I broke things off. Their words do not match their actions. Their actions only match their situation. What's good for right now? Oh okay, I'll do THAT. >.<

I wouldn't believe him at all. Wants to marry her?! Then texts you? No, he is full of shit. His words were likely a test to see if you still cared... they LIE ALL THE TIME to get whatever they think they want in the moment and that moment changes from minute to minute. His texts followed those words because he was probably hoping to get some on the side from you. His thoughts probably went something like this "Gee, maybe telling her I want to marry OW will make her miss me enough to beg to have me back so I can have sex with her again and power over both of them - wouldn't that be fun!" He is sick. If he does marry her, I feel bad for her. You are lucky to be away from him, even if it still hurts now... one day you will feel such relief to have dodged the bullet that is the narc and be sooooo much happier regardless of what he does or doesn't do. Don't let him saying he wants to marry her affect you, please. It is all a game to him and he won't change for her - even if he does marry her, her life will be tortured by his disorder. You are LUCKY he didn't want to marry you - let THAT thought replace your obsessive thoughts that you were somehow not 'good enough' - HE is the one who will never be good enough for you!! ((hugs))

What they say are just words to devalue! If it makes you feel any better after one year of building up a great relationship, plans & and many I love you! I got " Ha you thought we were having a relationship" well" yes I did you piece is shit"! That may friend is as hurtful as what he said to you! It's all about effect, not the words! You said it yourself, he's still not married, and he never will be! That poor woman is going to get it worse, she may have all the plans made only to have his cruel actions and words destroy her. Hunter

I feel like marriage for them may have nothing to do with who, but whether they feel like it at the time. G*d only knows what kind of alignment of stars, winds, tides and moods would set the "marriage" light on in these guys' heads. It probably has nothing to do with you OR her.

Well from my own experience... I said I love and he turned into the biggest passive aggressive prick I've ever had the pleasure of being around. Marry someone who acts like an asshole after you tell them how you feel about them? HAH Not on your life. I might stop to cook him dinner one last time just so I can spit in it before I serve it to him. I'm sure yours had stellar moments too when you said something heartfelt or emotional. Really wanna marry that? Who cares if he marries someone else? Let's forget about him being a narc for a second here. If he treated you like shit and he doesn't treat the new one like shit maybe it just wasn't meant to be. He's a greedy narc... keeping you both hanging around... tossing you crumbs to keep you interested so he doesn't have to really work for his next meal(NS).

Yeah, I have some thoughts! Was he a great guy who just didn't want to get married? Or a total raging narc who made you miserable? If you answered raging narc who made you miserable, then be thanking your luck stars and or what ever gd you believe to be true, that you are not involved in a forever relationship with the douche! Many narcs believe marriage is just a formality, they can still get strange on the side. Sounds like he wants you to be the strange? Ignore his ass....

...see how his actions STILL DON'T MATCH UP WITH HIS WORDS? He hasn't married her, has he. He told you that so you will be doing EXACTLY what you are doing right now...obsessing about what so-called 'fault' you have that she does not have that makes him bestow his glorious gift of wanting to "marry" upon her. WHAT BULL! He's probably telling her he almost married you or whatever... YUCK! Everything that comes out of their mouths is "twisted!" You ARE NOT! He's the loser. YOU ARE NOT!! She's the loser, too, she just doesn't know it yet... Most sincerely, (not) spinning. AND IT FEELS GREAT