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A narcissist is

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#1 Jul 31 - 5PM
AnotherPath
AnotherPath's picture

A narcissist is

A narcissist is like a toxic poisonous virus in the shape of a human body. This virus glides around and infects people. When he needs to get adulation and attention from people he infects them with his great guy friendly act. He uses these people so he can appear to look normal when he knows he isn’t. Because he has self loathing and deep down he is empty he needs people to make him feel good and worthy. Without these people he’d be suicidal. When he infects his victim it’s all consuming for her and deadly, it kills off her self esteem and her own sense of self. This makes him feel more important and superior because she feels awful so he gets to feel better about himself.

Getting the virus out of our system take time and a lot of work on ourselves but the virus does gradually leave us, and he goes on to infect some other woman, again and again and again.

Aug 1 - 4PM
Susan32
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Viruses aren't really alive

Bacteria are organisms, in the technical sense of the term. Viruses aren't really alive, even tho they reproduce. It's a bizarre biological paradox. Dealing with bacterial infections are EASIER than viral ones. With the flu, you simply have to deal with it. Dealing with a Narc is like dealing with the flu virus.
Jul 31 - 6PM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

anotherpath

good post, except there are those narc who become hermits and lead their lives in a depressed rageful mood, at least they do not go on to harm anymore other woman, that is my narc,older guy, with so many failed relationships he is all used up.
Aug 1 - 8PM (Reply to #12)
strongblackcoffee
strongblackcoffee's picture

Hermits

...mine used to refer to his house as a tomb.
Aug 1 - 6AM (Reply to #7)
Reddley
Reddley's picture

Mine is heading back to

Mine is heading back to hermit status. He was prior to me... He was so butthurt over his wife kicking him out and then getting spanked in court over his stupidity he just hid from everything except work. He seemed comfortable with his lonely depressed life. I should have left him alone to loath his existence in peace. I wouldn't be dealing with this bullshit now. Ah well... as he said to me to try to comfort me "At least you know I'm not leaving you for another woman" hah asshole!
Aug 1 - 7AM (Reply to #8)
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

Reddley and AnotherPath

as Lisa says, really listen to what these men say, mine said to me once, when we were still together," You need to find someone else and I need to live by myself", he was right on in that one!
Aug 1 - 8PM (Reply to #11)
strongblackcoffee
strongblackcoffee's picture

OWML

Seriously, I should have paid more attention when mine said "if I described my life to you but didn't tell you it was me, you wouldn't like me very much" Closest I ever got to the truth out of him Peace, Coffee
Aug 1 - 12PM (Reply to #10)
SailorChik
SailorChik's picture

Wow!

Mine said, early on: "I'd rather be alone and happy than be with someone and be unhappy." I thought he was referring to his failed marriage, but there was a deeper meaning there. Well, I left him and he can go back to chasing soccer moms (and denying them his manly essence), and mooning over his wife. Of course, he has to go back to sea soon, so that should suit him fine.
Aug 1 - 7AM (Reply to #9)
Reddley
Reddley's picture

If I really listen...

Then do I believe him when he says "I broke up with you because I care too much to hurt you like I hurt other people"? I don't have much faith in what anyone says to me lately.
Jul 31 - 11PM (Reply to #2)
AnotherPath
AnotherPath's picture

Yes, that's what happens when

Yes, that's what happens when they are old they become hermits as nothing works

Ending the dance

Aug 1 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
SailorChik
SailorChik's picture

Yep.

Mine is 55. He is very vain about his age. His narc tricks will not work well with the younger set, especially his sex withholding and occasional ED. Younger women like a lively man in the sack. Hell. I am 51 and want a lively man in the sack! I got tired of doing all the work. I imagine he will stomp on a few more middle-aged women, including his wife (ex-wife, now, possibly) before he finally gives up and becomes a hermit.
Aug 1 - 11PM (Reply to #4)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Sailorchick...I unfortunately

Sailorchick...I unfortunately have a long line of narcs I dated or lived with and married (my present situation), and the Dorian Gray scenario has played out with almost all of them who are middle-aged and older. They hate being older, they have settled to marry strange women who want them at any cost in a couple of cases, and some simply have not married and never will and are indeed, total recluses who drink themselves to death. My father did something like that and that's how he died after my mother left him.
Aug 2 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
Susan32
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"Strange women"

Being with the ex-Psych prof damaged my reputation (it was left bruised&bleeding), but his girlfriend didn't stand a chance. My classmates&my professors got to KNOW me over 4 years... so while my reputation suffered, his girlfriend (now his wife of a decade) had hers DOA/stillborn. She had guilt by association simply because of the way he treated me... and the final D&D was VERY public&ugly, between the ex-P's smear campaign, him reducing me to tears on campus, the marathon lectures. It's almost as if the girlfriend would've been seen in a better light if my final D&D had been behind closed doors or over the phone. (Heck, he could've even maintained a "good guy" image&had self-preservation)The ex-P's girlfriend was considered strange for being with him, and to a closer degree than I ever was. After all, I didn't change jobs to be with him&move in with him(!!) My classmates considered her "off." The ex-P married his girlfriend when he was 37;he had gotten her pregnant with twins (then married her afterwards) She was 32 at the time. By the final D&D, I was 22 and he was 36. So, it wasn't a typical "mid-life crisis" in which a middle-aged man ditches someone his own age for a much younger partner. My friends were kinda shocked he ditched me, because Narcs tend to go for younger partners, to have an appearance of virility&youth. Being rejected by a much younger woman is a blow to the ego-whether the male is Narc or normal. But especially to a Narc. His wife is only 5 years his junior... not exactly "Daddy issues" or May/December. The ex-P was good-looking when I first met him (he was 32, I was 18)... he had gained significant paunch,his tooth decay worsened&his crows' feet deepened over 4 years. In some twisted way, I think the ex-P probably has some respect for me because I didn't have sex with him, marry him, or have his babies. I wasn't THAT desperate. I may very well be back on the pedestal (not that I want to or care) For Ns/Ps, marriage/childbearing are the ultimate D&D. "They hate being older"-Leo Tolstoy was a major Narc. He married Sofia when he was 34 and she was 18. He had been a notorious womanizer. When he was too old to go to the brothels, only Sofia wanted him. Somehow their marriage lasted 48 years... tho it did end with a devastating final D&D. Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of Christian Science (who died in 1910 like Tolstoy) married a much younger student of hers, Asa Gilbert Eddy. She was a decade his senior (tho she had the marriage license falsified to make her look less older than him) He was a devoted student. She'd brag about how their marriage was sexless, that they were higher&purer than other married couples. The ex-P is going to turn 50 in 2013 (Mayan apocalypse notwithstanding)... wishing him a happy birthday always seemed to be inflicting narcissistic injury...
Aug 2 - 6AM (Reply to #5)
Reddley
Reddley's picture

What is it with these

What is it with these assholes? Mine was angry about getting older too. He whined about it worse then anyone I've ever heard. Sounds like my exN is following your dad's path. He really thought he'd be with his wife forever and would have just as soon stayed single after she left him. I shouldn't have bothered with him in the first place. Funny how I gave up and then he decided he'd "try" it. What an asshole. If he wants to die alone... no children... family deserted him because he's such a dick... all his friends bailed... GOOD... he can't hurt anyone but himself. Hope he rots. Fucking headcase.