Narcissistic females

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#1 Jul 20 - 2PM
Gatsby's picture

Narcissistic females

Is any one out there dating a narcissistic woman ? Is it always your fault ? Does she stop paying attention to you when you enter a room and she has an audience ?

Aug 25 - 11PM
kaye25's picture

Children do they love them?

My ExN female friend has 3 kids and pregnant with the fourth all are by 4 different men. Do they love or care about their own children? I noticed when someone shows the kids too much attention she gets upset. Hugs & Love to Everyone! Kaye25
Aug 26 - 12PM (Reply to #11)
LuckySpurs's picture


I thought my former best friend (a narc) may have learned something about how to not treat your children since she was treated so terribly by her narc mother. But I just realized something. My former best friend was a pageant girl from birth to 21. Her mother paraded her in every dog and pony show from here to Timbukto. My former best friend does not put her daughter in any pageants but drags her to the pageants where she is MC-ing and has the child in the background while Mommy puts on a show. I also just realized that my former best friend has tons of pics of herself teaching dance on her facebook page but only has about 2 or 3 of her daughter dancing. I think Mommy is keeping daughter "beneath" her. Most parents will have total albums dedicated to their children on facebook, but nope not her. She doesn't seem to be a "proud momma" but will tell people how much she "sacrifices" for her daughter. Poor kid. You think she might think her daughter will steal the spotlight from her?
Aug 24 - 12PM
LuckySpurs's picture

The "Too-Good-To-Be-True" Best Friend

I've learned that Narcs treat all relationships the same whether they are romantic or platonic. As you are aware, it is all about attention & what you can do for them. She was awesome in the beginning. She made me think we were cut from the same cloth, like sisters. Turns out she does this to all her "best friends". I was just another notch in her friendship belt. I lasted longer than most, unfortunately. Around 3 & 1/2 years before she dumped me, but blamed me for dumping her. I know, crazyworld, right! Yes, it was always my fault and her mother was more than happy to jump on this "my fault" bandwagon too, because I believe my former friend's mother is herself, a narcissist as well. (She abandoned my former friend when she was born and left her with her grandmother, the mother only came back to get her after my former friend's younger brother was born a few years later. My friend remembered this vividly and the mother did favor the son over my former friend. I think that's a lot of the reason for my former friend's psychosis now. The mother is/was also a prescription drug addict and stayed in bed all day expecting my former friend to wait on her hand and foot. It is sad when I think about the abuse my former friend endured that makes her the "monster" she is today.) As far as her paying attention to me, yes, she did stop paying attention to me and would get downright belligerent with me if she perceived that I wasn't paying attention to her. The first few times she raged at me (over the phone) I was reduced to a sobbing mess because she had me thinking that I was treating her badly. In retrospect, she was just throwing tantrums to get her narcissistic supply. We went on vacation one time (worst vacation ever!) with a few of her other friends and she proceeded to turn them against me and they all ganged up on me the first couple of days. After the other girls were literally belittled for acting like immature a-holes by other random tourists (sweet redemption!), my former friend immediately tried to make things better between us and acted like nothing had happened. It was traumatizing being that far away from my support circle and being trapped with the Narc and her minions all eager to attack me. Like a pack of wolves! Not to mention it was supposed to be my vacation! She and I lived together during the last 8 months of our friendship and that's when things got really ugly! She expected me to be her maid and she started acting like she was my mother. No one ever knows the extreme duplicity of a narcissist until they live with them. She was also incredibly inauthentic. She would go on and on for hours about how she hated "so & so" and then when she saw them in town, she would give them a hug and kiss and tell them she loved them with a sweet-as-pie grin. Stupid me to not think she would do the same to me..... and she did. Also during our friendship, she had 4 fiances and 2 husbands (4 men). She literally went from one to the next in a 24 hour period. She ALWAYS had someone lined up. She married for the 3rd time a few months after she dumped our friendship. O, and she was 24 at the time. And come to find out, she has cheated on every single one of these men, but will proclaim she is "more loyal than any dog". Yes, those are her words. She has remained with #3 but he is never home. He works 2 jobs. Each job more than an hour away from their home. #3 is also the sweetest and meekest out of all 3 of them. She currently has no best friends, or friends her age (she's 30 now) and prefers to hang out with her dance students (high school kids), as she is a dance teacher. Is that odd that a 30 year old would prefer to hang out with teens rather than her peers? Last but certainly not least, my former friend faked 2 miscarriages! That's right; not 1 but 2! The first time was with her 1st husband. Her mother made her take a pregnancy test and then took it from her and wouldn't show her the results. The mother told my former friend that it was positive but the mother refused to show my former friend the test, so the mother and my friend went around telling everyone she was pregnant for a few days and then "bam", the "miscarriage" happened. I blame the mother for that fake miscarriage. Then it was all my former friend the second time when she left #2 for #3, she blamed #2 for making her miscarry, but she was never pregnant. Me and #2's sister saw the negative pregnancy test she had taken about a week before, but that didn't stop her from creating this sadistic lie and telling all of #2's friends about it so as to turn them against him. Thankfully, it didn't work. And now since I have experienced a true miscarriage and looking back at how she reacted it makes me so angry. I cried and cried and went to the doctor. I never saw her shed a tear and she never went to the doctor to see what was going on. Everyday was a new soap opera drama, and I was expected to play my role my former friend thought I should be cast in. I ended up with a stomach ulcer the last year of our friendship and threw up every single day from it. When she left so did my sickness. Amazing how that happens!
Aug 24 - 12PM (Reply to #9)
LuckySpurs's picture

One more thing.....

One more thing; on more than a few occassions my former friend would tell me she was "psychic" and by that she meant she could pick up on every single person's true inner feelings and she took great pride in this "gift" of hers. She also believed she could bless or curse people at her will. When we first met she told me how she was a Christian, just like me, but later revealed she believed in the Wiccan religion too. Fitting for a witch like her to be drawn to Wicca. However, I'm betting Wiccan believers aren't going to like that last comment. Who wants to be assiciated with Narcs? They give witches a bad name. Lol!
Jul 21 - 5PM
Prem's picture

I have found that all narcs

I have found that all narcs will think other narcs are good people, it seems to be part of there pathology. I live a life surround by them and it's always me that is being told I am evil and everyone else is good. It is all wizard of Oz. Maybe it is more like being feed on by a pack of jackals.
Aug 4 - 8AM (Reply to #7)
Goldie's picture

Wow, that is a profound statement

Yes, this is exactly how they are and it makes no sense, yet the birds of a feather theory certainly does pertain to narcs as well. My father is a narc and my sister is is a major PD and they are thick as theives. They can do no wrong and in their eyes everyone else is nuts. They particularly target the healthy people. According to them, they are the crazy ones. My Narc has a boss who is just like him and they are both corrupt, angry, people and a coworker once commented that the two of them are made of the same cloth. This guy knows nothing about PD's, yet he could clearly see the dynamic which you describe. I can see that my childhood of this insanity is clearly for me what set the stage for my accepting this b.s. from men as an adult women. Before I could see what you are talking about, I used to scream at them: what do you see in these people, they are bad, they are not good people. I am a good person, why do you treat these crazy people better than you treat me??? Well, I'm sure that there is a comfort level that they feel among themselves that they could never possibly feel with us. Thanks for sharing this, it is important for us to remember this when we are in the throes of the insanity and also in recovery when we are trying to sort out what just hit us. It also explains why the OW or OM is often someone who we cannot understand WHY they would want to be with, well, it's most likely because they have found someone just like themselves and they "get off" on the sick dynamic. God bless, Goldie
Jul 21 - 7PM (Reply to #6)
Susan32's picture

Narcs thinking other Narcs are good

Same here, at my Narc workplace. My former Narc boss *LIKED* working with narcissistic women. He'd enable their bullying... then wonder why it happened. He didn't mind demonizing me, but he was attracted to narcissistic females (as employees, because he was openly gay) That's why some people thought the ex-Psych prof who D&D'd me for his masculine girlfriend liked her because she was a Narc.
Aug 4 - 10PM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

Married one!

Yep, she would complain whenever I got attention, even said I was stealing from her. I didn't really get it, just knew it was strange thinking. They can be very exciting at the beginning of a relationship, mirroring and acting so giving. It was intoxicating and I liked it. That is my part in the whole mess, because I knew better but didn't retreat. Her jealousy for years was almost paralyzing, she would make up stories about what I was really doing at work, etc etc. It was probably her projection, but I was to bullied to even think of that. I told a friend recently, a narc would be a great date for a week on a cruise ship, where fantasy reigns supreme anyway. But for day to day doing life together I can't imagine a worst choice for a partner. ds
Jul 20 - 3PM
Sparrow's picture

I'm not dating a female narc,

I'm not dating a female narc, but the same goes with a male narc........... She probably ignores you when she has an audience because all she needs is an audience. My friends husband is the exact same way!
Jul 20 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
Sparrow's picture

And my friend can do nothing

And my friend can do nothing right, everything is her fault. Her hubby just turned 50. He demanded that he didn't want anything nor did he want to do anything for the occasion. That day she said at least the two of them could go out. He said no, he wanted to do nothing. She made him a nice dinner at least with a bottle of bubbly......he didn't eat a bit of the meal, ignored her every attempt. They sat and watched tv, she got up later kissed him and said she was going to bed and wished him happy birthday........can you guess his response? "yeh well, how happy is it? It's not like I did a damn thing, thanks for nothing." I kid you not! Boy does he have brass ones! Lol So, to answer your question, you will always be wrong and do nothing right! Good luck!
Jul 20 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
Gullable1's picture


Hey? You just described my narc and his 50 th b day!" what the hell is it with narcs and birthdays?