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Narcs engagement/marriage.....

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#1 Feb 21 - 2PM
bakingfortherapy
bakingfortherapy's picture

Narcs engagement/marriage.....

I dont know why I cant get the fact that Narc and OW are now engaged..(someone even said they are already married) out of my head!

I have to NOT CARE!

He is sick no matter who he is with.
No matter where he is.
If he and OW-- two disordereds --are both now off the street so they cant hurt anyone else I should be happy.

I believed in him for so many years (over 8 great years) and barely survived the hell of 3 years with he and OW ....I served my purpose and she is now serving hers.

My head doesnt want him. My head knows to NOT CARE. My head knows I cannot "glamourize" (thanks Goldie) his wonderful future compared to mine.

I just wish he would have Erectile Disfunction that no pills can cure forever!!
I liked it better thinking he was miserable and going to end up alone.

My heart must still be mourning the loss of him.
I have been NC for 9 months.

ENOUGH!

UGH!!!

Feb 21 - 3PM
ichooselife
ichooselife's picture

One day, he will be

a lonely, bitter old man.
Feb 21 - 3PM
ichooselife
ichooselife's picture

Its harsh!

I know, I've been NC for 8 months...other than his unwanted hoover attempts. I thought I was over him until someone told me they saw him the other day. It feels like back to square one, but really I don't feel nearly as much pain or misery over him as before. They have really hurt us in huge ways...its going to take some time. XOXO
Feb 21 - 3PM
missym
missym's picture

One thing I do mentally

One thing I do mentally now....post divorce...is think about ALL the men in the world there are -- good ones, italian ones, french ones, american ones, funny ones, kind ones, REAL ones, rich ones, elegant ones, intelligent ones, Harley driving ones, athletic ones....REAL men who are genuine, thoughtful and care about others. I'm not ready to date now...its not fair to me or to any man....but sometime later this year, I can see myself ready to venture out there and begin experiencing a brand new life - sans HIM. When you realize - that he is ONLY ONE guy....and a pretty f'ing crappy one to begin with....you realize that we have alot to look forward to. The fact that he took up with OW in a split second (mine did too) - it also becomes LAUGHABLE....at how worthless he is and actually how WORTHLESS she is TO HIM if he could abandone his family and marriage of 18 years and before he could even get an erection he had settled with the first tramp who swam by. Come on...let's get real. And let's remember HE IS ONE MAN. IN A SEA OF BETTER CATCHES. Let us start laughing at them instead of crying.
Feb 21 - 2PM
abusednomore
abusednomore's picture

He is already on his own, in

He is already on his own, in his mind women are just "supply"! How horrible must that be to not truly feel love!!! I too find this concept hard, my exnarc got engaged to his ow 4months after he left me and my daughter for her! I only found out about her when someone said there was a photo on facebook of them on hol and someone had written congrats on ur engagement! Up until then he had denied there was someone else!!! It wont last, like so many other posts have written, we were once in that loved up stage, thinking we had met the most wonderful man, our "soulmate" (haha), and the OW will be in that phase. Even if it lasts months or years, know that her time will come, and poor her! but u have to try and think about urself and ur recovery, and try and just think he is not worth ur thoughts. I really struggle with this and think about him and Ow most days, but then i think what a twat he is and how he treated me and how i werent truly happy!!!!xxxx
Feb 21 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
bakingfortherapy
bakingfortherapy's picture

thank you for your thoughts...

I really appreciate. I want so badly to erase the thoughts, the CD, the memories ( good and bad).. I want to NOT CARE! I am mad at myself that I still do. I think about how his life is great and everything is coming together for him and I compare that I STILL am getting past the pain he caused me. I dont want to feel damaged anymore. I want to NOT CARE! He doesnt even deserve my thoughts!!!!
Feb 21 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
abusednomore
abusednomore's picture

i hear u. He doesnt deserve

i hear u. He doesnt deserve ur thoughts, but because u r actually a human being and have feelings, this is why u r feeling this way. They rnt human beings and that is why they can do what they do. They may seem like they have it all but they havent. I can remember posting pics on facebook and telling people how happy i was, when underneath it all i was screaming "im soooo unhappy"!!!! I would go home to him and he would be so demanding, jealous, put me down all the time, never spoil me or make me feel wanted!!!! And i too keep thinking Why am i still thinking about that and missing him!!!! and then thinking that he isnt like that with her!!!! We have to believe in what we read and other peoples experiences on here, because if it is true they dont change, and what we r feeling now is what the OW will be feeling about another OW!!!! I was the OW one time and i too was on a high for about a year!!! so it may take longer but it will happen eventually! and when it does, hopefully we will be at the point where really we dont care and just think "oh dear" and then move on with our happy and healthy lives that we have built from this horrible situation.xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Feb 21 - 2PM (Reply to #4)
bakingfortherapy
bakingfortherapy's picture

AMEN...

:)