NC but frustrated

10 posts / 0 new

#1 Dec 9 - 8AM

justwantpeace

NC but frustrated

Feeling frustrated again. Ive gone back NC. its really nice and its been really peaceful. Now I feel like ex is trying to take over with son by buying him. I feel that is just to get to me to. i wish it were sincere and just for son but I feel its not. I feel like he is trying to come between me and son. He keeps trying to take the week of vacation I have planned for next year. I will not let him have it. Now he is promising to buy him all this stuff. That part I dont care because if he buys son the stuff he wants then it means I dont have to. But i just feel leary. im working hard to keep my mouth shut.

#2 Dec 9 - 11AM

justwantpeace

wonder

He always tells son he is poor and never has any money. So im waiting for everything to drop when he cant pay for it or wont do it because he lives with his mother.

#3 Dec 9 - 10AM

nhtmf

He's promising and your

He's promising and your feeling leary. Trust your gut on this one. n's talk the talk but they seldom walk the walk. I hope he is not telling your child all he is going to buy him because an n promise is no promise at all and you may both be disappointed. Sounds like he's dangling a carrot in your face. Good luck on this and please let us know how all works out. Peace out, girlfriend...............

#4 Dec 9 - 11AM (Reply to #6)

justwantpeace

OH YES

oh yes he is. he is going to buy him a play station 3 and take him on vacation across the country in june (trying to get my vacation time slot) to see his favorite baseball team. He is really talking it up and trying to be his buddy. Im staying out of it. I cant stop it and I have to let son see or he will resent me(Im afraid if I step IN). I will have to be there to pick up the pieces.

#5 Dec 9 - 3PM (Reply to #7)

TexN (not verified)

Justwantpeace

I would bet that he is not going to go through with his promises. The narc always promised the kids & that & never ever followed through with them. Even my 6 year old already knows not to believe him when he says he's going to do something. He couldn't even come through for Christmas like he said he would....LOSER!!!

#6 Dec 9 - 4PM (Reply to #8)

Barbara (not verified)

justwantpeace

I try HARD never to talk bad to my kids about their father... but I have validated them by saying "there's a big difference between what your Dad says and what he DOES. there's also a difference between what he PROMISES and what he DELIVERS." But I only say it AFTER he's dropped the ball. My kids sometimes get mad at me, which is fine... but they get it once they process it. Have you told son's therapist about this? ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website

#7 Dec 9 - 8AM

Barbara (not verified)

justwantpeace

he is trying to buy your son he is doing it to hurt you just keep your mouth shut... eventually your son will figure it out. Stay out of it. NC NC NC ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website

#8 Dec 9 - 8AM (Reply to #3)

quietude (not verified)

justwantpeace

What Barbara says ~ if you react, your ex will LOVE it. That's what he's trying to do ~ upset Mom. When you act unaffected by the N, this drives them bonkers. I would definitely counter the 'damage' he's doing by instilling in your son the importance of the OPPOSITE of the message your husband's giving him. How about you and your son do some volunteer work on the side? This will show him that everything in life doesn't revolve around how much stuff you have. Keep good communication going between you and your son ~ I'm sure your son will eventually see through it and be just fine...

#9 Dec 9 - 9AM (Reply to #4)

justwantpeace

volunteer

thanks the volunteer work is planned. He is going next june to mexico with his youth group for a mission trip. Im really encouraging him to do this. He is very excited. They are going to a boys home to do a work project. this is tough.

#10 Dec 9 - 8AM (Reply to #2)

justwantpeace

thanks

thanks barbara i have to say i love the nc. its been so quiet and nice and peaceful.

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