Newbie

Hello everyone!

I've been dealing with a really long and messy break up from my ex-girlfriend who I'm 99.99% sure is a narcissist. I'm at the point where she has found a new supply and I haven't heard from her in nearly 2 months now. I'm having a difficult time knowing she's out there playing the victim, making everyone think that I treated her horribly and making it seem like she did nothing wrong. I know that contacting her and talking to her about it won't do any good, she's impossible to reason with. None of her friends are friends of mine, they just know me through attending the same high school which we're all graduated from. I know I shouldn't care what people think of me but I don't want people to think I'm the monster she's painting me out to be. I felt like messaging her brother today and explaining that he only knows the tip of the icerberg about what was going on but I know that she would freak out a lot if I did that. I know in my gut that not doing anything is the best route, to just ignore what she's doing and saying. It's just really rough when people think she's a victim when really she's the wolf in sheep's clothing.

I guess I'm just looking for advice to have inner acceptance of her hurtful behaviour and to not stoop down to her level and message people trying to defend myself.

I had been avoiding looking at her social media sites but ended up looking 3 days ago and have been super anxious and depressed ever since. It's been hard to concentrate these past few days, my appetite is very low compared to pre-browsing her social media sites, and my sleeping schedule has been awful. I know that looking at her social media sites right now is terribly unhealthy. My brain justifies the action by thinking it's me being strong and being able to look at her life now and not caring that she's dating other guys. The truth is I don't want to be with her, I'm glad I don't have to deal with her crap anymore but I still get super anxious and depressed when I look at her social media sites. I think half of it is anger that she has everyone believing that she did nothing wrong to me and it was all me.

Any advice for dealing with anything I've written about (or anything dealing with moving on from a narcissist in general) would be greatly appreciated! Looking forward to healing with all of you and leaving this chapter of my life behind me.