Old GFs never go away

loveofmylife-Mine keeps all of his ex's on the back burner as well. When a new relationship begins to go south, he contacts them. Uses them as "sounding boards", smears the current partner to them,sucks up some sympathy, hints that it they were "The One" that he never should have let get away, blah,blah,blablabla. They all go through this cycle with him over and over. Some of them I suspect are N's or borderlines, and enjoy the triangulation drama. He never actually goes back to any of them though-and drops them like trash when he's hot on a new source of supply.

Nevergoback Yes this is my experience. I watched how my exN savagely dumped his GF of 11 years for me, yet she cried begged, pleaded for him to take her back. Could not understand this myself but he played a game of pitting the exes against each other. Because i refused to enter into this he was never sure how to handle it though he made it look like she was harrassing him. The reason why they keep them hooked is it proves their power, control etc etc. Both ex wife and ex girlfriend have never moved on but now that he is pretending to have found spirtuality (after me initially leaving him) he is now going back and I believe it is to turn the kids against their mothers. I was sickened when i realised this was his tactic. He will keep them hanging on because he owns them in his mind and he certainly hasn't finished with destroying them. ugggg. I am going to be the first to walk away free and clear though fortunately I never had children with the monster. Power to ME lol.

As soon as I sensed that I was about to be discarded I told the N that I never wanted to see or hear from her again. I told her I wanted her stuff and her GONE as soon as it could be arranged. I did have a couple of contacts immediately after to get my belongings back which took several attempts but in the end I did get them back. I did all of this thru texts so I wouldn't have to see that cold distant smug look on her face. By this time I discovered what I had been dealing with so I made the last contact as "Neutral" as I could ending it all with just an "I wish you the best" and have made no contact nor received any contact since. FYI she replied with "Well I wish you the best too, you deserve it" They realy know no shame, guilt or posses a concience. Just in case I should ever be contacted by it again what is the best way to let it know I want nothing to do with her. I want to be able to do this so that she gets NO satisfaction "Supply" from me whatsoever. I'm thinking of just hanging up but wouldn't that give her satisfaction that she still has an affect on me in her sick head? Is there any way to let it know that her BS doesn't work on me anymore without letting her be the "Victom"? I just don't want to be caught off gaurd should she ever try to "Recycle" me....

i've heard that until i could scream..from other people and from the psychonarc...i got him out of my house november of 07...am STILL not divorced from him...he refused to sign a simple uncontested divorce, then says....'what's your PROBLEM? i've been gone for over two years!...we're divorced..get over it!'....he's divorced me in his minde..ie..discarded me...and that's all that counts!!... i was supposed to 'just get over it' when he tried to murder me too... another favorite line of his is....'that's all in the past'...anything he'd done five minutes ago was IN THE PAST..and therefore needed to be forgiven and forgotten..how CONVENIENT....

Narcs and Psychopaths have a weird sense of time...it's one of the traits that a lot of them seem to have but isn't discussed much....they really have no concept of the passage of time.... i've seen that many times in the psychonarc...once when discussing how one of the dogs was developing severe arthritis i'd said...'i guess it's to be expected at her age'..he just stared at me with his mouth open..'you're crazy!..she's what?..two..three?'......she was TWELVE...and we'd had her since she was a puppy.......

that's what i always called them...the psychonarc always tried to keep a couple of victims 'on ice'..he'd go check on them and suck up every now and then...'re-connect' as he'd call it...just in case...just in case he needed someone to feed off of in case of emergency.... when i got him out of the house finally, he contacted all his emergency rations, and fed off them for as long as he could... getting a victim is HARD WORK...a lot of pretending and sucking up involved...if they can keep someone they've suckered previously on ice...then in times of need, they don't have to go to all the TROUBLE of luring in fresh meat...they've got some old half eaten sandwich on ice......

Both my father and my ex have always had woman friends. When my ex's SUV got spray painted he said it was vandalized by one of his employee's. Later he told me it was from a woman that he dated prior to me. Sad thing was it was his wife's car. This same woman he spoke of is in town and they still speak. Just noticed one thing. Most N's I now have noticed have alot of woman friends.That should have been my sign. They just keep them around and I know of mine to have 2 that live locally just imagine how many more live in his home town when he goes back to visit family, Oh Boy! Uniques Lyric

Mine always bragged about how he is still friends with most of his exes. I think they are still under his spell too. He was the "dumper" in these cases. The only one he is not friends with is the one who left him for someone else. I think his spell on her was broken. I think without the education we are getting about N's, we may still be under the spell too, thinking the breakup was normal. But we are learning nothing about our relationships or breakups with these N's is normal. Well, except for us. We're normal. And that's why it is so hard for us to wrap our heads around this psychopathy. As far as never hearing from them again, I think it depends on if he thinks he can get anything more from you. If he thinks that spell has been broken, you may never hear from him again. If he thinks you're just mad, and you need to get over it, he will try again when he thinks you may not be mad anymore. And if he gets a response from you, he will progress until he is getting sufficient supply from you, whatever that may be. I've only heard from mine twice, and they were very generic emails to feel me out. One said he would like to be friends and we should have lunch or coffee. I deleted them without responding, so he probably thinks my panties are still in a twist. I figure he'll wait until he thinks I should be over it, and try again. Fortunately, his email is blocked and so are texts. I can't block phone calls on my cell, but I really don't think he would call. That is just too personal and possibly confrontational. He really doesn't want anyone to be mad at him. Everyone is supposed to love him, he's a freakin' god, dammit! So I say let the exes have him. The spell is broken here. There is nothing left here for him to take, so there is no reason to contact me. I just don't know if he knows that yet . . .