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The OW

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#1 Nov 1 - 2AM
Kimmy2
Kimmy2's picture

The OW

I made it very clear to my N that I will happily be there for the OW to support her once he's done the same to her. He knows that I would too. hmm probably shouldn't have warned him. But I definitely think we should view the OW as a victim as we were.
Sometimes I do think that if they were to be happy maybe it was my fault. Oh wow that sounds soooo ridiculous. I know at my very core he is incapable of love empathy or compassion. You see it doesn't even matter if they are happy cause I certainly wasn't. So long as they stay away from my daughter.

Nov 1 - 5AM
NarcJunkie
NarcJunkie's picture

yes, the OW is nice = good supply

I could be friends with the OW. We like really each other - but before a friendship could form, the Narc went in there, swept her off her feet and in the following months, whenever I asked her to go for a coffee or join the girls he would accuse me of trying to sabotage their relationship. Yesterday I said good-bye to her and used that opportunity to ask her if she had a problem with me (as the Narc had claimed that she did and that I was "poisoning their relationship"). Of course she doesn't... she just tried to stay out of it, probably bc he fed her loads of BS and started to freak everytime she even considered meeting me. Anyway, I thanked her for the talk we had a while ago that had made me feel better, and I told her that I'm happy again, that I lost the urge to ever talk to him again and that, after his last tantrum, I finally understood why he behaves the way he does and if she ever wants to talk about it, she can contact me. She was really friendly and normal (so refreshing after dealing with a Narc). But I could also see that she is still completely oblivious and doesn't think it will ever be necessary to ask me for details. She thinks it just didn't work out between him and me... I didn't tell her that he's a lying, manipulating, cheating egomaniac and that she's in deep s*** and should google NPD - because she hasn't seen that in him yet, and, of course, she will tell him everything I said and accusing him will only feed him again. But... I planted the seed of sisterhood. And one day, when he starts to make her suffer... and that day will come... she may remember what I said. Maybe in a year from now, she and I will be friends after all. I don't think the Narc will care once he's done with her.. but neither will we once we're done with him! ;)
Nov 1 - 2AM
Kimmy2
Kimmy2's picture

Also i think its highly

Also i think its highly likely he will choose someone altruistic and loyal like me. So we will probably have allot in common and he can choose my friends for me ha ha ha.
Nov 1 - 2AM (Reply to #2)
newbegginings
newbegginings's picture

Kimmy2

I was ow and not treated any better, didn't know about his partner until too late, but often wonder why she sticks around. He told me she has low self confidence and jumpy when his phone beeps... Wonder why? Actually why would he even tell me that... Idiot!!
Nov 1 - 9AM (Reply to #3)
TNR1
TNR1's picture

The reason he felt he could

The reason he felt he could share that with you is because he has no empathy for her. To a Narc, we are all objects that are either working or not working. He deemed her to be not working, which allowed him to justify his cheating with you. Mr. N once shared with me that his gf was suspecious because he never had his phone away from him. The way he said it was so non emotional..it was as if she was a car with a broken radio or a broken toaster that he needed to get fixed and it exasperated him. Sooner or later we all exasperate them because they can't relate to us and we can't relate to them...which is why it is best to just walk away.