Is it just me or do they take away your ability to trust??
Hi to everyone on here, especially at this time of the year. The site has been an inspiration and support to me and i am now a 20 whole days of NC initiated by me. I don't think he believes this is it.
Yesterday he text me at 1am after the familiar pattern of nothing then messages. This time it was as if we were still in a relationship and as if he was being a normal loving man...eg, he text to tell me how beautiful the snow was and how he was thinking about us!Er, I have ended it?
I was able to see the message objectively for what it was, ie manuipulative behaviour as it's Xmas and he needs attention and supply from me. I was even able to read it then go to sleep thinking typical narc pattern. However, this morning I am sad. Sad that what should have been a loving message, was not, but was something entirely horrible and yuk.As i now know, he is a narc I could read it and not be emtionally affected by it but now i am wondering if i will ever be able to TRUST again???It's as if my experience of him ( 4 yrs) has tainted me and i won't ever be able to read a loving message again and not analyse it and be suspicious. Like you have had your 'innocence' taken away???
It's necessary to view their behaviour like this but it scares me.Any hints folks for how to get my head around this?? Happy Christams by the way to all on here. It's a life saver.