physical illness

The question that gave us the best picture of the psychopath in action was “How did he act when you were ill?” Illness implies vulnerability which is a perfect time for a psychopath to take advantage of someone. Only 20% of women reported any caring response to their illness. Since psychopaths get bored easily and being ill is fairly boring, it is easy to anticipate that a psychopath would be “challenged” to be consistently helpful in illness. Couple the sense of being bored with a lack of empathy, compassion, and very low cooperation and you can pretty much guarantee she’ll have to take care of herself if she gets sick. A small portion of the women said that their psychopaths actually helped them when they were ill. However, twice that many women said that the psychopath only intermittently helped. He either got bored with helping or he only helped when others were around watching. The overwhelming majority of the psychopaths didn’t give care when someone needed it. In fact many of the psychopaths ignored serious and life threatening illnesses in their mates. Here are some of the typical answers: “He doesn’t show empathy or any kind of support.” “Annoyed usually and accused me of making it up.” Nearly every woman indicated he had told her that she is the one who is pathological or mentally ill and since she is so sick, no one else would ever want her. By the mid-part of the relationship a woman who is normally herself dominant and resourceful may for the first time in her life feel “fragile” or even “mentally ill.” She may seek counseling fearing she is the one who is “sick” "codependent" or “disordered.” Not only has the psychopath repeatedly told her that, but she is also shaken by the incongruences in the relationship and in her own emotions. The roller coaster of the ups and downs and the enormous attempts at pleasing him and stabilizing the relationship have taken their toll. “You feel trapped constantly in some weird kind of game that you didn’t ever want to play in the first place. You know you’ll never be the same again. You see who you were just evaporate.” A few doctors now realize that many of the severely depressed women she treated were actually victims of psychopathic men. We have seen women labeled sick, crazy, bad mothers, hysterical, codependent and overly reactive. Women are violated by the psychopath, violated by the lack of trained professionals to help them, violated by the legal system, and left scarred and numb to wander through life. Unfortunately, at risk children often have a psychopathic father and a scarred mother who is ill equipped to do preventive parenting. The women are then further victimized when their children also grow up to be psychopathic. All of this amounts to a death sentence for those who made a mistake; the mistake of loving and trusting a psychopath. This is a rather harsh sentence for a woman whose only crime was wanting love and family. Sandra L. Brown, MA - WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/

I have been permanently disabled since 1995. My immune system stinks. One of my kids brought home a respiratory infection 2 days ago... guess who got it? Did I mention I am having major surgery on May 28? Now I have to have my GP fax an OK to my surgeon to go ahead with the surgery. GRRRR ExNH left me with: panic attacks numb sexually hearing loss chronic pain adrenal fatigue insomnia stomach & digestion problems chronic PTSD Psycho-Boy left me with: panic attacks vomiting to the point I have serious issues to my esophagus insomnia adrenal fatigue severe PTSD (I went to a clinic for 10 days for treatment. Of course exNH abused me worse when I came home because he HAD to watch the kids) (thank god for ZOLOFT! ;) ) This isn't a can-you-top-this session. This is fact that we all need to pay attention to. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/

So sorry you're sick! Please take care of yourself, I hope you have some help. Yes, this kind of stress can bring on all kinds of illnesses. Some of the issues my ex-narc helped create for me: *full-blown anxiety attack that landed me in the hospital 3 weeks after he left suddenly *depression, lack of energy, gained weight, bouts of high blood pressure during the last part of our relationship *aches and pains that have amplified since he left - some people have said it's fibromyalgia (great) I'm tyring to get the above under control by taking good care of myself. It's taking a lot of work to try to regain my health, but it's possible now where it wouldn't have been at all if I would have stayed with him, I'm sure. Feel better soon - keep us posted!!