PLEASE HELP WITH PHYSICALLY FLAWED!

Thanks Hermes. I am aware now how our childhood effects every furture relationship we have and how important it is to evaluate ones childhood to get answers. That's exactly what happened to me with my repressed memory of N. I am very fortunate NOW to understand what went on in my home as a child, why it happened and why both my N. and my husband sought me out. It is a classic case. Although my husbands Narcissism is present in a manageable way, he has much empathy and is very generous, just a little grandiose when it come to business. He is extremely intimate and affectionate and he definitely loves me. I just have to be a few steps ahead of him sometimes and bring him back to reality. I assumed it was the essays section of Dr. Grossman's site you were were referring since there aren't any images.

I lived a difficult childhood, my siblings and myself, which made us who were were: codependent empaths. My N saw this in me. It was like a moth to light. But he was very insecure, always needing reassurances. I just didn't understand why he was insulting like he was? He would get others to do his evil bidding so I wouldn't be mad at him for calling me names like a school boy in the school yard. I eventually had RHINOPLASTY because I never forgot the hurt it had caused me. But what you are saying makes the most sense since he saw NOT ONLY how other men were LUSTING for me, but how GIVING and CARING I was about others, putting myself last, etc. I even think in the future he started copying me. He wanted to be me! If I only knew what I know now back then. I repressed my memories for 25 years like those people you read about or see in television dramas, where they wake up one morning and have flashes of abuse in their tramatic past. That really happens! But I'm glad it did so I can reflect now about EVVERYTHING in my childhood, young womanhood, etc., and I'm at a place now that is SSSOOO HEALTHY. Thank you.

That's probably why he was making you feel that way because of his small P***S. And that's why mine did the same. The only thing mine didn't know was that I thought he was PERFECT physically because I thought he was someone else mentally. It was a package deal. When the masked slipped off, that is the only time I judged him physically, and because he became ugly on the inside, the outside was now ugly.