Poetry

39 posts / 0 new

#1 Mar 29 - 1PM

dysenchanted

Poetry

It looks like several of us write poetry. Here is one of mine, from when I was still with the N.

Anxiety Disorder
Sometimes at night when you are occupied,
with your thoughts of...whatever you are thinking of
And I am alone with my cravings
I catch myself holding my breath.
Listening
for the thunk of that other shoe. Words that will turn the universe on its head.
Waiting for the next blow to fall, for the thing under the bed to show its ugly face,
Praying to become numb
Never doubting
that something wicked this way comes.

#2 Apr 1 - 12PM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

the only 'healing'

would have been to have never been injured....if the police and the legal system had dealt with that maniac like they should have nearly 6 years ago..my life would have not been destroyed....but it has been..... if you can offer up a solution to my problem, i would love to hear it....but i can't think of anything that will restore my six figure income.nt credit....my home..my murdered dog and my health...

#3 Apr 1 - 11AM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

NancyM...WHO is it who can't relate?...

i am WELL aware of what Psychopaths are...but you must not be..or you would not say ....'either you want to be a victim'....no one CHOOSES to be the victim of a predator..the predator chooses and victimizes you..i hardly think that me telling a raging psychopath that i am not 'prepared to be his victim' will have any effect of him stalking me, or murdering me if he gets an opportunity....unless i use a loaded gun as an exclamation point!... i have exhausted every avenue..from the legal system to imprecatory prayer..to no avail...if the 'help' you are offering me is co-dependency flavored kool-aid...i'm not drinking it....i've done enough research on psychopaths, that when it comes to accepting any personal BLAME or repsonsiblity for the behavior of a monster.i'm teflon..... the 'help' i need is legal help...so i can divorce him and give him his fair share of the debt he has run me into...some decent therapy from someone with knowledge and experience in psychopaths and the victims of psychopaths...some medical care...and a way to make a decent living for myself and my pets....and some justice for BEN, my dog he murdered would be the cherry on top of the cake....to the see the psychopath behind bars for his crimes would be very satisfying...

#4 Apr 1 - 11AM (Reply to #37)

Barbara (not verified)

Nancy M

Nancy M I can attest that narcnarc's area is particularly bad for "help" for DV victims... and that she has been trying for YEARS! Many victims are left out in the cold by the DV industry: http://survivorsinaction.com/site/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=47&Itemid=56 (scroll down and read the letters) http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2009/08/what-victims-call-dv-pass-buck.html narcnarc has been through hell, banged on every door she can over & over and NOTHING. when you offered to pay for a 'healing' for me I told you I'd prefer you put that money onto our Members Helping Members fund - only then did you refuse. Members like narcnarc feel better coming to here to safely vent. Please don't 'dictate' what 'help' should be for anyone. That sounds suspiciously like the board she & I were on together 2 years ago - where help was what the ADMINs thought you 'deserved.' (or didn't deserve at all!)

#5 Apr 1 - 11AM (Reply to #35)

NancyM

Sorryi I can understand ur

Sorryi I can understand ur predicament. Just wanted to help. Sorry I can't offer legal help but just want to know that u can be safe. Sorry if I offended you..

Nevergoback

#6 Apr 1 - 12PM (Reply to #36)

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

SAFE.....

i could be safe...if he were dead, or in jail with no possiblity of parole...safe from him...but i will never get back what he has stolen from me...that's reality...a very very ugly reality......

#7 Apr 1 - 10AM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

i'm confused....

is this an offer of help...or an accusation? "Maybe it is about time you asked for the help you deserve!?!??" it looks to me that you are not just INSINUATING that i am in my situation by CHOICE...but that you are stating it as FACT... the fact that my situation has no easy fix seems to anger you..and there is no easy fix...in fact, i see no fix whatsoever.. what sort of 'help' is it EXACTLY that you are saying i haven't ASKED for?...could you please elaborate?...because i assure that may long and exhausting search for help is well documented....

#8 Apr 1 - 10AM

angie

thank you...

for starting this thread! it feels good to share. I wrote this as I was starting to realize that something just wasn't 'right' with him. I wonâ€™t be another amazed member of your studio audience. I wonâ€™t applaud when the sign flashes then watch you in awed silence. Instead, Iâ€™ll simply stand up, Turn around, Walk out. My purse bouncing an offhand farewell against my swaying hips. Though grinding teeth and Concrete feet, Iâ€™ll flow on A hair flip, no hesitance, no backward glances. When its all done, And the lights turned on, Youâ€™ll then see Iâ€™ve gone. and wonder why I left before your songs and dances. Well see dear, Iâ€™ve watched it all before, a black and white rerun with the same old silent ending. Me in a bathtub sipping red wine Me wrapped around myself with a book Me watching the ceiling, holding a heart crammed over full with nowhere to put the excess. And I considered giving this spillover to you But I can see itâ€™s much easier to just throw it away myself.

#9 Apr 1 - 9AM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

always a way out...

there's not always a way out...he completley destroyed my life...every aspect of it....i went from a six figure income to zero income...i lost my home..my credit is ruined...he murdered my dog...i have complex PTSD..and it's hard to find decent therapy for that if you have top notch insurance...and impossible if you have none... there is no financial aid for a woman without children..no medical care..nothing.... if the government would cut federal grants to every DV and organiation like the United Way...and instead put tht money in a fund that gave grants directly to DV victims and the poor...the problem would be solved..... i can't even get legal aid to help me divorce the piece of crap..it will remain totally impossible for me to 'get on with my life' until i can cut that rock from around my neck...and i tried to pry that tick off my @ss for years and years...

#10 Apr 1 - 9AM (Reply to #29)

NancyM

You make me feel like...

Nancy M - this is warning Number Two. We can not have you attacking other members. Please tone it down or leave the site. One more warning and you will be blocked. -webadmin

Nevergoback

#11 Apr 1 - 10AM (Reply to #30)

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

REALLY?

me simply stating the FACTS about my situation OFFENDS you?... what was it i said that was so offensive?...that i am not sitting here doing nothing..that i have exhausted every avenue i can think of?.....

#12 Apr 1 - 10AM (Reply to #31)

NancyM

Nancy M - Warning

Nancy M - this is warning Number One. We can not have you attacking other members. Please tone it down or leave the site. Two more warnings and you will be blocked. -webadmin

Nevergoback

#13 Apr 1 - 7AM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

NancyM

i love your poem!!... unfortunately things have NOT changed much....there is little to no real help for victims of these predators out there.....i certainly haven't found any...and i have encountered the 'don't tell' vibe eveywhere except HERE on this forum....and only on this forum.......

#14 Apr 1 - 7AM (Reply to #24)

NancyM

narcnarc

I guess that's the point. Its the shit we are all going through that is bringing us together and we can only keep hammering away till we bring this to the attention of the masses. Yep if I could have found this forum back then I would have understood. Yet I did it twice more though the first I must admit was your ultra Psycho than the average Narc. From what I am reading I think this is your experience now. I hate calling a Narc "average" but that is the experience that some of us got. Can you move states? What do you need to get out? I am not saying I can solve it but I know you need some intervention. Can we talk somehow?

Nevergoback

#15 Apr 1 - 8AM (Reply to #25)

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

NancyM ....

he's the one in need of an intervention...what i've always needed is the 'help' i was promised as a DV victim, but found does not exist.......he finally became so bold that he beat me in my driveway with a WITNESS....he was sitting on top of me, slamming my head into the driveway...CHANTING...'i'm going to kill you bitch'...and he got away with that...back before he drove me into poverty, i talked to lawyers about having him committed..i tried literally hundreds of times to have him arrested for DUI...the list is long and endless.. and no...i cannot get out of this state...i certainly tried...i had a real estate business and home on acreage..both of which he ran into the ground on his way out the door....i have eight dogs who are my family...rescue dogs...so no...there is no real way out...and sure..i welcome any input...you can get my email address from Barbara.....

#16 Apr 1 - 9AM (Reply to #26)

NancyM

There is always a way out!!!

There is always a way out!!! How can u turn down a offer of help unless u CAN"T recognize what it is. Start finding ways to solve your problems. I can't promise miracles but either you want to be a victim or you smash him out by telling him that you are not prepared to be his victim!! Honey, Sociopaths are far beyond the Narc. Not many will ever understand the difference unless they have been with one!! Problem: They are so closely related that people think that they can relate to you on a Narc situation. I know the difference believe me and there is either a way out or death,. TALK TO ME!!

Nevergoback

#17 Apr 1 - 12PM (Reply to #27)

Barbara (not verified)

Nancy M

There is always a way out!!! this is magical thinking please stop thank you ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#18 Mar 30 - 12AM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

my poem

dearest darling psychonarc i'm so forlorn, now we're apart i miss the way you used to gloat and wrap your hands around my throat i miss the way you used to smirk i miss the way you used to lurk i miss the way we never talked. and now alas, i'm being stalked why do you call me and not speak is it heartache makes you meek? is that you dear, coming nearer when i glance into my rear view mirror? as you watch me from afar are you making plans to steal THE car? if you plan for us to meet again where can they find your next of kin....

#19 Mar 30 - 10AM (Reply to #13)

TexN (not verified)

Narcnarc!

You're killin' me! That's hysterical! (Mine was short & sweet) Actually, I'm sure I could come up with something else. I will when i get a minute...

#20 Mar 30 - 10AM (Reply to #14)

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

TexN....

yes...it's representative of my deep and abiding affection for him....i have others that are only suitable for NRA forums........

#21 Mar 31 - 1AM (Reply to #15)

Barbara (not verified)

poem

narcnarc you are too much!! And you inspired me to pound out this little ditty... Twinkle twinkle psycho boy so relieved I'm no longer your toy at first I was sad to see you leave nowadays I truly breathe you're trying to slander, lie and smear what you forgot is I have no fear to court you say you'll drag me somehow I'd love to go with you right now then the whole wide world would know the truth you're some animal who's totally uncouth that you pretend to be astute and moral but all you're obsessed with is porn and oral you say your faith has taught you well I hope you believe that down there in hell for women, you said you had respect but all you said was total dreck locked in your home office with wifey downstairs you wank your willy without a care you lie to yourself as well as others you lie to everyone, probably even your mother out of work, stuck at home - what a bore no cash or time to hire a whore I'm a woman with brains and class So stay gone psycho... and kiss my *** ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#22 Apr 1 - 5AM (Reply to #22)

NancyM

Here is one I had to dig out

Here is one I had to dig out of the closet and it made me kinda sad that when I wrote it there wasn't much help out there for us (nearly 20 years ago). In those days we were expected to suck it up so its places like this board that are validating what's really going on. Apologize in advance for the theme but it kinda tells you where I was. This is the way I had to deal with round 1. DONâ€™T TELL Donâ€™t tell because who would believe It could have been so bad? They will think youâ€™re trying to deceive Or that you are quite mad! Donâ€™t tell because they may believe, And may make a judgment call. So much worse if they conceive That you deserved it all? Donâ€™t tell because youâ€™ll give away The weapons that theyâ€™ll need. Surrender fears with what you say, Theyâ€™ll know how to make you bleed! Donâ€™t tell because it will make you cry And youâ€™ll still give yourself the blame. How can you look them in the eye If you hang your head in shame? Donâ€™t tell cos it was that final stroke That pays you back twofold. It wasnâ€™t just your heart he broke Itâ€™s how he crushed your soul. Donâ€™t tell and they will never know Your strength is just a lie, That your grief is hidden far below, Never let them see you cry. Donâ€™t tell, youâ€™ve not the strength or will Itâ€™s enough that your alive! Itâ€™s the fear that often gets you killed, The rage helps you survive! Donâ€™t tell, no one wants to know Youâ€™ve already been to hell. Itâ€™s a place again you will never go, You wonâ€™t get caught if you donâ€™t tell! Nancy M 1993

Nevergoback

#23 Mar 31 - 9PM (Reply to #21)

angela0714

That's a great poem!!!

Very sad...but true! That was my N to a tee.

#24 Mar 31 - 8PM (Reply to #18)

ForeverLearning

You All Crack Me Up

It's a toss up who's poem is the funniest, they are all hysterical, you guys are the best!! :)

#25 Apr 1 - 12AM (Reply to #19)

Barbara (not verified)

winner!

I think narcnarc's wins... hands down! i miss the way you used to gloat and wrap your hands around my throat That's just PRICELESS! ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#26 Apr 1 - 12AM (Reply to #20)

wallaby (not verified)

yeah you know this poetry

thing could be what you could use to differentiate people who have been with N's and people who only think their problematic partners were N's. Only true N victims could write these....

#27 Mar 31 - 5AM (Reply to #16)

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

psycho-boy

let him have it!!!.... see...and you thought you couldn't write anymore!!

#28 Mar 31 - 2PM (Reply to #17)

Barbara (not verified)

thanks narcnarc

I do try! ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#29 Mar 30 - 12AM (Reply to #12)

Barbara (not verified)

narcnarc's poem!

OMG I just soaked my Depends!!! THAT'S HYSTERICAL.... ROFLMAO!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#30 Mar 29 - 10PM

TexN (not verified)

My poem to the narc...

You sorry piece of shit... (That's all I have so far)

#31 Mar 31 - 10AM (Reply to #9)

dysenchanted

Texn's poem

I added a few lines for you. :) Maybe someone else will chime in...:) You sorry piece of narci shit... I think you suck-you think you're "IT" You skanky heap of fecal waste I wish I'd never seen your face.

1
2
next
last

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews