Monica & all... would love to here more from you about this. Something is just not normal about this sexual behavior. Here is another post, please add your stories...
http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2011/03/29/sex-citywith-narc-warning-might-get-graphic
FFI, I did read your post some time back. And honestly, I felt overwhelmed by the massive amount of things I had to say about sex and how it was SUCH an issue in my relationship. Even now I do. I don't even know where to start. But we had a really messed up sexual relationship, and now I find out about SIX other women he cheated on with me, and they all use the word "disgusting" and "sick" - sex is a problem for my N and I would not be surprised if he got in trouble with the law bc of his sexual habits.
This sounds more indicative of borderline personality disorder. Shari schreiber refers to this type as cassanova. Go to gettinbetter.com and read everything on borderline personality disorder I bet it will all sound familiar
SOI I read some of her articles. I don't understand her article about the narcissist/BDP bond. I actually remember coming across this article way back and I sent an email to my therapist asking her if I was a BDP. She said no...I see traits of BDP and N in my exbf. And the traits i see in the relationship between the N and BDP, I see in my own relationship with the N. So I am still trying to figure out where I fit into this model...
I also am unclear about what my exbf is - and in the end I know it doesn't matter - but he seems to exhibit N, sociopathic, and BDP traits. that is one messed up person! :(
The ex-Psych prof was incredibly cold. In class, he'd often say, "Can you read that again, WITHOUT EMOTION?" He liked being addressed by his surname, NEVER by his first name, even by his colleagues. His handshake was very tight, almost numbing... and he wouldn't let go. He preferred handshakes. When I hugged him at graduation (that's as physical as we ever got-as usual-it was in front of everyone), he shrank from me, and the look in his eyes was of pure terror, like that of a coyote once a cougar has ambushed it.
The ex-P lacked the ability to fake physical affection. When he brought his girlfriend to a concert, he didn't up the ante by making out with her, let alone holding hands. They acted like siblings.
My ex-N showed very little emotion, no empathy whatsoever, and intimacy was none. He only showed the above emotions in the first month. After that...none...I found myself crying and begging him for intimacy....ugghh. He was horrible in bed on top of that. I'm soooooo glad its over!
Since it was the final D&D, I *ASSUMED* that the ex-Psych prof would go in for the coup de grace and show that he was affectionate with his girlfriend whereas he wasn't with me. In retrospect, he probably did NOT do it (a)because he was a cold fish and (b)it would've given me closure. I read here about Ns/Ps flaunting their latest GF, wife, doing PDAs... and the ex-P showed off the girlfriend, but he didn't shower her with affection. When a friend of mine said "Maybe she was his sister", my response was "She acted that way."
It's a weird sort of disappointment. The ex-P's students thought he was cold&inhuman... and the first time showing off the LDR girlfriend didn't convince anyone (the rumor was that she was a lesbian anyhow, because she was more manly than me-she looked like his clone-she had his crew cut, dark clothes, didn't look feminine) He didn't even put on a good act. I expected lovey-dovey, even if it were as fake as a soap opera. But no, he hoovered me.
Maybe the girlfriend was as much self-centered as him, a female Narc. Sometimes Ns/Ps end up together, partners in crime. Maybe she knew how he emotionally abused me and cheered him on. Maybe she was as brainwashed&befuddled as the rest of us. I don't know.
In the tone of the Beatles, I was thinking,"I want you to hold HER hand."
Monica & all... would love to
FFI, I did read your post
This sounds more indicative
SOI I read some of her
oh, but I will go ahead and
SOI, oh no... if he has
He was tooo lazy to fake that
My ex-N showed very little
Little emotion