Questions

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#1 Mar 22 - 6PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Questions

Ok Smart ladies, I have a question,

Why was I so down last week? This week is a whole different story. I really don't care what he does, In the past 5 nights I haven't even had a restless obsessive night.

I think if I was notified he died Im not sure I would care.

Well ..either way I guess this is a good thing. WAHOOOOOOO! BYE ,BYE Narc let's keep it that way.

I think this is Ideal

Mar 24 - 6PM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Susan

Once again I have to say that your narc is one of the freakiest of all the freaks. I mean, seriously, just an unapologetic, flagrant, balls to the wall freak of nature. I would LOVE to get a look at this nutjob. I brought some photos of my narc to mmy therapy session yesterday and my therapist was like foaming at the mouth wanting to see what he looked like. The verdict on my handsome prince? "No comment."
Mar 24 - 8PM (Reply to #10)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

I'll have to PM you...

One of our fellow posters saw a picture of the ex-Psych professor (because her N as the SAME B-DAY as the ex-P) and called him a "fat grandpa." It's not a flattering picture. The mask of sanity isn't on in that picture. Not even barely. I got a bachelor's degree.... but psychology wasn't part of it, unfortunately. I felt like I've ridden the karma bus, because a year after the D&D, I found out the ex-P's parents were LIVING WITH HIM. Now he had enjoyed being far from his family;he saw it as his freedom. That ended after 5 years. I had always told him that he couldn't always flee the consequences;there would be a point when running away would be impossible. And... his father got him onto a philosophical forum about consequences. After the final D&D, I remember telling the ex-P we were fundamentally, EPIC incompatible. Whether his girlfriend was as much a Narc as him I don't know (both my maternal grandparents were Ns), or just a brainwashed normal person like me, I don't know. She spared me a lifetime of misery. Sometimes God says "NO" and it's for a GREATER YES. God doesn't always give us what we want;He does give us what we NEED.
Mar 24 - 2PM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

idealk

I'm having the same difficulty and I've noticed it isn't happening as much maybe now? It's definitely not daily and I don't think it is for you either. Again, something that will take time. We were traumatized by these men!! Truly it's a wonderful thing to be away and free!
Mar 24 - 1PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Helldweller

I hope I stay this way! Yes, certain triggers do cause tears! Idealk
Mar 24 - 10AM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Ideal

I just read this. I had a very similar experience recently. After almost three months of his silent treatment, I really was feeling a ton better, truly not caring much or thinking constantly about him. About a week ago, I was reading something and saw the word "smooch." Well, I literally burst into tears. The narc always used that word, saying, "Can I come over and smooch, baby?" all the time. I was so confused and frustrated, but then I realized that the real reason I was crying was not because I missed him but because I had FORGOTTEN that he used to say that. In fact, I realized I was forgetting a lot of things about him and about how he acted, how it felt to be intimate with him, to touch him, to have him look at me. Then I got MAD because I knew that's what he wants: for me to forget being with him, as if it never happened. Crazy. I actually texted him last night and said, "Seriously. How could you possibly pretend you don't know me? I sat with you while you had a colonoscopy three months ago!" I hope someday soon I can get it through my head that he's right: I never did know him. And he certainly never knew me. I try to remind myself that I really am special in the end because I think I'm the only old girlfriend he doesn't talk to LOL
Mar 24 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Being very *special*

He strikes me as someone who DESERVES a colonoscopy ;) "I never did know him. And he certainly never knew me."-I think that's why we're so traumatized&saddened here. Normal breakups involve a meeting of the minds--heck drifting apart is less painful than D&D. It's always on the level of acquaintances, even when it goes on for years, even when there's a sexual involvement, even where there are kids&marriage involved. Leo Tolstoy and his wife Sofia were at the level of acquaintances (since Leo was a raging N), despite the fact they were married for 48 years, had 13 kids. After the final D&D, I remember the ex-Psych professor snapping at me, "I was NEVER your friend!" Some Ns/Ps dangle the promise of marriage, moving in, having kids together- the ex-P dangled the carrot of friendship, yet I was always deemed "unworthy." He *EXPECTED* me to stop being Catholic, drop my friends, drop my family to be with him-that trio of sacrifices was too big for me. In his eyes, the fact I didn't attempt suicide when I met his girlfriend, the fact I graduated, the fact that I didn't jump into bed with him, didn't bear his kids--were somehow irrefutable proofs that I did *NOT* love him. With an N/P, it's like you introduce yourself to them-but you can't go beyond "hello" and "goodbye" because it's ALL ABOUT THEM. The ex-P was tight-lipped about himself to a certain extent, and he'd act bored when I talked about myself. He was dismissive of my outside interests. After the final D&D, he'd be telling me that I didn't know how he felt, that I didn't know him.... saying this angrily after I wished him a happy life with his girlfriend. During the final D&D, he told me that I was projecting my positive qualities onto him due to my low self-esteem (he must've been reading&memorizing an NPD website during the D&D), that my relationship with him was a diversion, and that my declaration of love was just an act. "I think I'm the only girlfriend he doesn't talk to"- I got the sense from the ex-P that he had cut off a lot of colleagues&students. Or that a lot simply left him. The ex-P doesn't contact me... thank goodness his parents are living with him, because he's nearly 50, and hasn't left his first childhood.
Mar 22 - 6PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

hmmm

Well Id say you suffered a great deal of trauma and some of it has been repressed from round one. I would say that its perfectly normal. Kinda like if you have had a back or knee injury (i.e. truama) it hurts when the weather changes get it?
Mar 22 - 6PM (Reply to #4)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

SOI

You are so good at this now. Why do I pay a shrink?
Mar 22 - 6PM
TLSM
TLSM's picture

Right on, IDEAL!

Rub off on me, will ya? How long since NC and break up? CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mar 22 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

The first time or the second?

The first time or the second? I stopped talking to him in Sept. My friends moon died and I told him, As I was telling him I told him I missed him and I felt like I was mourning our death. He went off and said How dare I blame him for her moms death. I knew that day he was a complete nut job. What kind of nut job…. I needed to do a little research and here I am. I told him to Fuck off and I would never speak to him again. I mean what I say. I almost caved plenty too. Idealk