Read this about his new woman & you will never be jealous again!

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#1 May 3 - 8PM

HopeAgain

Read this about his new woman & you will never be jealous again!

cringe for her as she witnesses his first smile

I pity her as she is swept away by his kiss, his touch & his words of affection

I fear for her as she begins to trust him with her heart.

I cry oceans for her as she falls in love with him.

I hope for her as she sees a bright, happy future with him that will never be.

I am moved by her devotion and how she is able to find good in him even though he hasn't treated her as she deserves.

I hurt for her as his treatment of her steadily declnes, but she still believes...

I feel rage for her as he keeps up his lies.

I am confused for her as she wonders where is the wonderful man I met?;

I am distressed for her when she is ignored by him for days and he refuses to answer her calls without explanation.

I hurt for her as she lays awake in her bed but he never shows up. He never calls to tell her why & her mind wanders.

I cower for her as he drinks one too many drinks and becomes nasty and abusive...her confusion only grows. Who is this man?

I am sorry for her as he begins his smear campaign against her to his family & friends. She has no idea what awful, hurtful things he says about her.

I am in awe of her as she looks passed his cruelty...she still smiles when she thinks of him & runs to the door to greet him.

I regret for her all the dreams she has but will never, can never be.

I apologize because I couldn't warn her. I couldn't save her from his grasp.

I have the deepest compassion for her to know what her future holds & what she will have to endure and then hope to recover from.

For she is me & I am her...we walked the same journey.

She is still on the path to being broken.

I have been on that path & I have clawed my way out. I have fought the fight & I am on the path to becoming whole.

#2 May 8 - 12PM

Happy1

This is a great post! Thank

This is a great post! Thank you!

#3 May 8 - 4AM

Kitty02 (not verified)

very beautiful post....thank you

I really love this post....I think it is wonderful. I was very lucky in that I never was jealous of or hated the OWs in both cases. With narc/psycho #1 I was traumatised after we split and frightened for his new girlfriends and SO angry with him and myself. The one immediately after me knew what he was about but thought she would be the exception to his rule. He told her I used to make his blood boil and he couldn't keep his hand off me but he wouldn't be hitting her. She lasted longer then me but got beaten up all the time, badly on some occasions from what I've been told. She's still in his life running after him even though they have been split up some while and she has a boyfriend. I'm now total NC. Narc #2 I was probably more heartbroken about because above everything I thought we were friends. But getting to know him and seeing how he treated other people badly, not just me, made me see from the beginning of our break~up that him moving in with OW after only four weeks of knowing her wasn't 'loves young dreams' stuff and he wouldn't be changing for her and I had the experience of being with Narc/psycho #1 under my belt too. I actually am grateful to her for coming along because he could still be bothering me but sorry she has to be his next victim. I'm truly sorry that others have to go through this experience, sometimes it ends in real heart stopping tragedy, look at the post a member put on the other day about the poor young woman whose husband stabbed her to death for leaving and the link cecelia put on. My friend was beaten physically and tortured mentally and emotionally for years by her husband but sadly did nothing about it...what happened?? she retaliated and her husband had her arrested and charged. She has lost her job because she lost her CRB...will she work again who knows??...she had a breakdown and is recovery well but all this for a man???....I don't think so. So not worth it. I count my blessings every day for my new found peace of mind and all the good and simple things in my life and the fact that I'M ALIVE!!

#4 May 8 - 1AM

ACgirl

So beautifully written. What

So beautifully written. What you wrote made me feel sorry for the first time for all the women in my Narcs life and path. As I read it I also saw myself, just like you said. You did an awesome job writing this. It really helps the process of moving on. xoxoACgirl

#5 May 8 - 12AM

It'sAllAboutMeNow (not verified)

This gave me chills

The minute I knew what he was about was the minute I didn't care who he was with and what he did. But at some point I felt bad for what he might do to the next victim. "For she is me & I am her...we walked the same journey" I love that part, especially because it's so true. The whole time I read this I thought of how you could have been speaking about yourself. Beautiful!! You have come a long way HopeAgain and I can't wait for the day when we don't even think about them again. HUGS!!

#6 May 8 - 8AM (Reply to #18)

HopeAgain

Thank you

Thank you ItsAllAboutMeNow...we will get to that day! I just know it. & We will do it together. hugs!

#7 May 7 - 3PM

Steph

I love this, HopeAgain. It

I love this, HopeAgain. It is never about the OW, it is and always has been about HIM. If it wasn't the next girl, it'd be someone else and then someone else again. It's him that holds the blame, not her. "For she is me & I am her...we walked the same journey." Brilliant statement:) Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us!! xoxo

#8 May 5 - 8PM

ifinallygotit

I am too shocked by N to care what he does to her

I am not sorry for the current GF who looks Narcish enjoying being flamboyant in the limelight with him. I feel bad for the last GF who had his baby. She was a nice person who got trashed for no reason other than him not wanting a kid with her. She is the one who exposed him on TV. I feel ashamed of my behavior that I babied and loved him for years while he gave her a hard time about child support. I was out of my mind and so damaged for changing my values. i want to apologize to her. The new stuff he is in to in the new city with other fake people is not really my business.

#9 May 5 - 11AM

neverlookback

For she is me & I am her...we walked the same journey

yes we did, we are one of the same and neither one of us will ever have love or commitment from him. Endless lies and endless empty promises

#10 May 4 - 4PM

wisdomneeded

thank you....

Hope Again for an amazing post! It is truly eye opening to have this perspective on the OW. Hugs! WN

#11 May 4 - 2PM

HopeAgain

For all the times I wanted

For all the times I wanted him back desperately, once his mask was fully off I would never go back. Now I wouldn't want to be in the OW shoes ever! Maybe I am able to have compassion because I actually talked to her and heard the hope in her voice. One night ex N got drunk and called me...it was right at the final d&d but I was still in confusion about what was going on. He wanted to twist the knife, let me know he had moved on and that she was AMAZING!!! 10 X BETTER THAN ME!!! Not surprising because she was being idealized. Psycho put her on the phone with me! At that time I was paralyzed & devastated to know he had a new "girlfriend". In our short conversation she told me that she was so hurt by her ex husband and only wanted to find happiness now. (he found another vulnerable woman to prey on) I told her she wouldn't find it with ex N. But I was so hurt by the whole thing I just couldn't stay on the phone very long. I also became friendly with one of ExN's exes who tried to warn me. She was with him for the first year and a half of our pretend relationship. He told her I was just a friend & he told me the same thing about her! I couldn't be angry at her & I am forever thankful to her for giving me what no one else would..the truth. We fell for their charm just like they are falling for it now & all the stories of their "victimization" and "crazy exes". I think it's also great to read it and find compassion for ourselves as if we are on the outside looking in.

#12 May 4 - 11AM

gratefuljen

We had just broken up, not

We had just broken up, not three days....and she posted on his facebook page to change his status from being married. God love them both. I think he has been her secondary supply for many years. When a relationship ends as in a d & D he goes back to her. She can have him. And I do feel sorry for her, no jealously, that's cool. I am going to cherish this, no jealously,,,,,,,,,,,,wow......,,,,this is wonderful. Growth coming slowly. Honesty, and truth to self........Thank you Lisa for starting this site. It has helped more than you can ever know. Sincerely, Jen

#13 May 4 - 8AM

findingmeagain

nice list but ....

the ow my ex N D&D me for can have all the pain and i hope she gets it soon. because she knew about me and was some of the reason i was having so much grief in my home. so i can't wait until he starts treating her like crap . i know this is mean but its how i feel. i have two children with this asshole and she was relentless at playing a part in my demise. so f**k her and what happens. my concern is when will it happen because if he moves in with her he will be playing this part for awhile.

#14 May 8 - 2PM (Reply to #10)

SoaperGirl

Totally Understandable

Of course, you are only being human and you have been hurt badly. I find it totally understandable. I've got a lot of mixed feelings about the OW. I have pity, contempt, a dash of jealousy, compassion, sympathy. I never know what's going to be the dominant emotion. I know the OW in my case is to my knowledge is an innocent party, who's been looking for a man for a long time, is hungry for love, and thought she'd found it with my narc bastard.

#15 May 5 - 3AM (Reply to #8)

Qing Yuan

i could have written this... 'Nice list but...by findingmeagain

I agree, I got D&D for the OW and I am NOT jelous. I think about them togther and it makes me feel icky nut I know that a. she has saved me from hin, (he would still be in my house other wise) b. its chemical and not real right now and c. she not only knew of me, but knew me well, she was a friend of ours, so she took a maried man away from his family and I guess I dont really much sorrow for her, SureI forgive her yep, defo. I dont harbour hates as they make me sick, but she can have it all. AND like Findingmeagain, I have a child with him... she persued him and he persue her... they both knew wjat they were doing... and yes at the moment they are both playing the part and I too worry about that point when they move in and start happy familes with my child... :( she is a cold narc too so I dont know how I can deal with that scenario, hopefully it will fizzle out by then?

#16 May 5 - 8AM (Reply to #9)

findingmeagain

I wish I could be like this right now.....

But to be honest I can't stand his OW. She knew about me and my situation (I've got an autistic daughter with the N) and she is married and didn't give a damn. She throws her credentials in my face about her having a house, truck, and good job. She is so stupid she doesn't realize she got those things from having a SUPPORTIVE husband something the N is not gonna do. She thinks she is upgrading her husband with him. I can't wait until she sees the real him if her dumb azz ever does that is. I would've had all that stuff too if the N/azzwipe was supportive. Now I can get the things I want out of life but for some reason and I know I'm wrong for this I want this relationship to blow up in her face and she sees what I was dealing with. I want her to feel and have pain because of all the trouble she HELPED cause in my home. When he started with her he always was arguing with me and now i know why . She cause alot of problems in my home and I didn't even know about her. Sitting there helping him feel justified for treating me like crap . Yeah I don't like her and don't wish her well at all .

#17 May 4 - 10AM (Reply to #7)

TLSM

Me too...

I am right there with you...I indentified the beautiful writing with ME and ME only...I am hoping she gets it bad because she's been after him the last year of our relationship and I am pretty damn sure they were screwing around. We were together 4.5 years. She is desperately now trying to flaunt their relationship now. She's pathetic. She worships him and will do anything he says. I never did...I always stood my ground...My downfall/stupidity was that I stayed in it for so long and wanted to try and fix him, fix me(whateva!) and fix us. HA! He D&D'd me for her too because my anger got worse as I was starting to figure him out. He couldn't handle it. Poor baby. Since she is 15 years younger than me - she is 28 (20 years younger than him), I anticipate he will destroy her as she is at that vulnerable "I-want-to-get-married-now-and-will-do-anything" age. Fingers crossed.

#18 May 3 - 11PM

strongerthanever

What got me from the

What got me from the list..."She is still on the path to being broken." So sad. All I can do is pray that she will gain the strength and insight to do the right thing not only for her but for her little girls.

#19 May 3 - 9PM

TLSM

HOLY TOLEDO! SPECTACULAR!

Excuse me...have we met??? OMG. Everything you wrote is exactly what I went through-even the slandering of my name to his friends & family to cover his ass. I love this and book marked it to my cell! Awesome!!!

#20 May 4 - 12AM (Reply to #2)

Caligirl

Awesome and TLSM

I was also slandered to his family to cover his a**. It was the worst, just threw me under the bus. He actually said to me that he attracts crazy, stalker types, implying me. I left him, and have never stalked anyone in my life. It was unbelievable.

#21 May 7 - 3PM (Reply to #3)

dabussard

Caligirl

Yes, My N calls me the crazy stalker bitch.. Says that I am stalking him... Hello, he drives past my house everyday and knows every move I make, cause he has his friends watching me too. I was out dancing with my gf's just last night. One of his friends saw me and was texting him. He knows every move I make. And it makes me sick. They always turn it back around on you. He is the master at that.

#22 May 7 - 3PM (Reply to #4)

Caligirl

dabussard

OMG, about your exN stalking you. What a loser! I would hate that. They are unbelievable with how much they project themselves onto us. I am so glad my exN and I live in different states. I won't ever have to see his fugly face (as my gf calls him) ever again.

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