Reappraising....
Reappraising....
So I've come to terms with a few things...Jen79 posted on another thread how we know we've resolved things within ourselves when we can sum it up in a sentence.
Guess I still have work to do. Actually, I feel much better, but not sure how to define where I'm at. I don't want him, will never be with him, don't feel angry but not sure if I've gone to suppression mode - definately do not feel sad or any pain that I can identify not even disgust...and it's not numb...I guess I'm in limbo?
But a thought came to me today. I believe that in order to feel love - there has to be reciprocation. Although when I think of "The Little Prince" that was a one sided love. The rose was a narc...LOL - and he was hurt.
Nonetheless, I have come to terms with the fact that I "loved" someone who did not return that love. Was unable to attach - was not a "real" person - they were real in the flesh, but not in soul, mind, spirit...and so if I were to apply that concept to say an ant...if we could pretend to love ants...ants can't love back, they don't show affection, they do not reciprocate. Babies can't really show love, but you know that they are dependent and eventually WILL love so that has to be ruled out...but let's stick with the ant. I loved the equivalent of an ant.
Did I really love then? I meant to, I thought I did...but I loved someone who really did not exist...so was it love? I know the "feelings" were there...but in hindsight while I "identify" with feeling a "sensation?" of "love" it was with an illusion - not someone real.
So how does one define this? I am having CD over a sentence: I loved someone who didn't love me back. That is the fact, but is it? Is REAL love not symbiotic? How is it possible in hindsight to claim to have loved someone that couldn't love you back?
In a normal relationship...you could love someone and they could DIE. You loved them though, and while they were alive they loved you back. Or sometimes people fall out of love, but they try as best they can to amicably end things...or do they? Is that a fantasy? Is it rare to find the partner who rather than take the easy way out actually confronts and departs but with tenderness or is that a myth?
I don't know at this point how to define things...I am really stumped on my sentence...
I am very well versed with issues narc...but don't know what my last sentence is and wonder if I am deluding myself to defend how much I loved him when in reality he never existed. Is that something to make me feel better? To validate me? To defend my actions? I can't finish the sentence....
What is Love Anyway?
Hi Michele 115
Romantic love
hmmmm.
Hey michele :) My thoughts
kg
Interesting topic
The reciprocation issue
maybe there isn't really just
Wacaet