Relief After the Narcissist Is Gone

Ladies,

This is interesting, after almost 5 months of not having my Ex - Narcissist in my life, I am starting to feel RELIEF, my grief is starting to turn into relief. Of not having to carry him and all that comes with his dysfunctional package. I have noticed that:

1. I have more money and time to spend on myself - yesterday, I went to get a facial and got my nails done, I can eat out more, I am now paying for school for extended studies. I can buy new cloths, and I am able to start building my emergency fund again. The truth of the matter is, these guys are parasitical in nature, and irresponsible. The entire marriage I had to provide for him financially. He didn't bring much to the table, but HE LOVED SPENDING MONEY. He loved using credit cards. They have a sense of entitlement, they feel they deserve it all, without having to do anything to earn it. It's like I had a child that I had to provide for. It's relieving to not have to carry this burden anymore. I realized I need a man that can take care of himself, and for marriage material - he needs to be able to provide for a family.

2. I have more emotional energy, as I don't have to spend it trying to manage him and his dysfunctionality. I feel such peace some times, because I am not spending energy worrying about having to work on a relationship where the other party is not invested. All the energy I spent in discussions and arguments with him, irritated at his behavior, now I have for myself to spend in productive pursuits and efforts. The truth here is -life is too short to spend it with an emotional vampire such as a narcissist. They are emotionally draining. The faster a woman leaves a narcissist, the faster she can find herself, her interests and passions again, and start living life and enjoying everything in it. It's time to focus on healing and growth, and eventually partner with a man who is interested in investing in a loving relationship, not just taking.

3. I have more physical energy, because I don't have to spend energy taking care of him, and doing for him all that he wanted me to do. He was the kind of man that for the most part, he did not help with responsibilities, I did all the cooking, house chores, bills, laundry, picking up after him, grocery shopping, etc. anything that had to do with responsibility, he was not interested in. Plus I had to work a full time job and take care of anything else needed while he enjoyed a comfortable and relaxing life. Can you believe it?! My counselor told me - "He has a sweet little deal with YOU, because he's not pressured to have to do anything, he has YOU to do it all for him!" One time he even told me that he liked me serving him his meals on the table, instead of him getting up, because it made him feel taken care of. After he's gone, I feel such relief, I feel like a huge burden has been taken off my shoulders. I think marriage is a life partnership where both parties should help eachother and should be equally invested and responsible.

4. I am also feeling a sense of hope, when I think of the possibility of having a healthy and loving man in my life. God made "man and woman" to be together and enjoy eachother. A healthy man and a woman can work towards having the right marriage dynamics, and can end up in a pretty satisfying and happy life together. I'm not saying it's easy, it takes work, but it's possible. Just thinking of what this picture could look like, I feel a sense of hope.

Ladies, have you felt any kind of relief after the Narcissist is no longer in your life?