1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. revenge

revenge

28 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 May 19 - 10AM
enoughalready
enoughalready's picture

revenge

I am so angry today and I want some want type of revenge. I know two wrongs don't make a right, but he has to suffer somehow so the pain he has caused me. Why is it fair,he wakes up and goes about his day without any care in the world? He creates this whole facade and it makes me puke. Ok-for the question-he paid cash for his bmw from his steroid black market selling-is there a way I can report him to IRS for not paying taxes? Damn-any type of payback would give me satisfaction! And without him knowing it was me- don't want anything happening to my family

May 23 - 8AM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

THERE IS NO KARMA...EVEN THE END IS NOT THE END........

there is no KARMA for these fucks.........and if there is....there is never ENOUGH......mine is DEAD...liver failure....from years of being a drunken piece of shit...i had the opportunity to watch the bastard DIE...... and you know what?....even THAT wasn't enough Karma!!..it didn't bring back my beautiful home...restore my credit he ruined....get me back my six figure income from my business he destroyed....it didn't bring back my beloved dog he murdered... oh sure...i got to sign his DNR with a smile on my face...i got to lean over his orange carcass and ask him how much he was SUFFERING....i got to see him turn his face away when the hospital chaplain told him that i had SAVED HIS WORTHLESS life when i brought him to the hospital, and for years before that....by not allowing him to drink around me....i got to be there when the doctors told him he'd KILLED HIMSELF with booze...his beloved booze...... but it still wasn't ENOUGH....... all the damage he's done is STILL HERE...even though he's gone...my credit is still ruined..i'm still in poverty...i still have PTSD...KARMA was on HIS side...KARMA relieved him of EVER being faced with his responsbilities and obligations... in the end....even KARMA ENABLED HIM........... “I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget." - Chaim Herzog
May 23 - 12PM (Reply to #20)
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

Narcnarc

I understand only to well what ur feelings r, I was very independant when I met my XN, I had a good job that I loved was making good money and raising my 2 kids on my own and I was full of joy and laughter all the time and positivity. Now after XN I have no job, no income no positivity or joy or happiness. I feel ur pain, however, if we continue to stay angry and resentful, WE LET THEM WIN, I am not willing to do that...I am struggling everyday to get better because he already took enough time from me and everything else I had including my self esteem. I refuse to let him win..I wanna feel full of love and energy , positivity, joy and happiness some day again..I will not let him win in the end! We have to find a way to keep our heads up and just put one foot in front of the other until we get where we want to be. Very, very difficult but we must do it so we can one day feel and be whole again!! I will keep all of us in my prayers so that we may heal!! smileyfacepr

smileyfacepr

May 23 - 12PM (Reply to #21)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

no one LETS these monsters do anything............

no one can stop them....nothing can stop them....but DEATH...and unfortunately they never drop dead until they've destroyed many lives....... no one LETS THEM WIN........they just WIN.... that's like saying we LET ourselves be RAPED... whether i'm ANGRY or not has no EFFECT WHATSOEVER on what's already been done.....i'm not gonna let THAT conterfeit buck be passed off on me.......... “I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget." - Chaim Herzog
May 23 - 5PM (Reply to #26)
hitandrun
hitandrun's picture

Narcnarc

I only had a sliver, and I do mean a tiny sliver of a glimpse of what you went through. You are one strong woman NOT to have killed him when he murdered your dog, Ben. And to stay with the Orange Judas when he died. I don't know how we forgive OURSELVES(not the pieces of shit.) I cannot fully comprehend what you have been through, but my gut says you are A STRONG WOMAN. You survived cohabitating with evil, and I don't know how you get them out of your system. But you DID survive and that speaks volumes to me. Quality of life? We won't go there...I'm having to feed my critters the cheap food now, too.
May 23 - 6PM (Reply to #27)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

surviving........

i often thing it would have been better if i hadn't survived....he wouldn't have gotten SQUAT except hopefully a prison sentence....and everything i had, which was still quite a bit when he tried to murder me the first time would have gone for the continued care of my pets..probably would have been the best thing for all concerned...... not a pretty thought.....but i think it still would have been the best thing....... what REALLY would have been the best thing would have been what happened to him happening to him about ten years earlier...... “I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget." - Chaim Herzog
May 23 - 2PM (Reply to #22)
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

Narcnarc

Narcnarc...I hope u find peace and forgivness..forgivness is for us to heal not for them, I too am trying to forgive but for myself it has nothing to do w/him! He has taken alot but im not gonna let him take my future and i will one day have new dreams..u know where ur XN is and what he is doing..I do not, which is torture some days. Like I said I wont let him take my future! I know we can feel great some day but we must keep putting that foot in front of the other! We r all in pain in this forum that is y we r here for support because we dont know what to do with all that pain. I will keep praying for all of us to heal quickly and completely!! smileyface

smileyfacepr

May 23 - 4PM (Reply to #25)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

sorry to break it to you...

I know what to do with my pain - educate others, tell the truth, expose these vampires... we never fully heal... we are forever changed... ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 23 - 2PM (Reply to #23)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

uh...Smileyface......

have you read my signature line???.....i have no intention of FORGIVING that piece of shit...dead or alive..... “I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget." - Chaim Herzog
May 23 - 2PM (Reply to #24)
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

Narcnarc

Yes I have and I respect that also! U made me laugh for a min there with the 'uh smileyface' and yes I agree they r all pieces of shit but I will still pray for all of us to heal in our own ways!! smileyface

smileyfacepr

May 22 - 9PM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

karma

Found out that he's at a celebrity weekend while i'm at home with heat patches on my bruises from him. But like my bruises are never going away, this time--for once--his aren't either. I may not have the fabulous band-aids, but I do have the truth. And he will too, now, for the first time and forever.
May 22 - 5PM
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Tax Invaders

These creeps think they are above the law & think they don't have to pay taxes like EVERYBODY else in the world! Report him. I am as soon as I find out the outcome of my court hearing...
May 22 - 6PM (Reply to #17)
enoughalready
enoughalready's picture

and

He cheats everyone. Didn't really think about it tell a few months ago. He's a manager for a company. He's paid salary for working 2 days a week, supervising employees and doing payroll. When an employee works on a holiday, he'll tell the employee to take it off and he'll work his shift but put him down as if he worked it. Then once the employee gets the paycheck and the extra holiday pay, the employee would have to give it to him. U see, he does the hiring and firing too. So, stupid is, stupid does. The employee should know he pays taxes on the holiday pay too. The other 5 days he's off, he works as an apt maintainence man -he also fudges his hrs stating he should get his apt rent-free and should b paid more than $10/hr. And b/c of me, I got him a job at my gym 3 yrs ago as my friend owns it. He only works whenever he's needed. He apparently shared the secret code to get in to some of his friends. I told him he was wrong to do that. He could careless. I told my friend who owns the gym after she found out later through other people. But I was disappointed she didn't fire him, instead she changed the locks and gave him a card key waiting for the camera to catch him. These are the things I KNEW he had done. I knew it was wrong yet I ignored it-brainwashed and stupid I became. I thought, I loved him, I would change his ways of dysfunction and show him the right way to live and comform to the norm. I didn't realize he was trying to ruin my way of thinking and my morals. Wow- what a loser! And how I let him damage me.
May 22 - 11AM
Introspection
Introspection's picture

I say move on and focus on yourself....

It must take effort to focus on him...I say move on and focus on yourself. I understand that it is difficult but if you continue to focus on "revenge" or on what he is doing, you will never truly be free. So who cares what he is doing or who he is doing. He will never feel the "type of suffering" that you are looking to see him undergo. Stop checking up on him! In the end, this is really your call...what will bring you satsifaction? If reporting him is what will make you feel better then I say...go for it!
May 22 - 6PM (Reply to #14)
enoughalready
enoughalready's picture

introspection

I don't check up on my XN, don't want to feel the pain. I was NC, blocked everything except the parking lot outside the gym. He gave back my cell phone cover and panties that didn't belong to me. I don't know what that did to me, but that put a firecracker up my #ss -so to speak. There's nothing like getting another woman's panties he's been in bed with. The visuals were unbelievable no matter how hard I tried to block them from my mind. What really bothered me the most is that I truly believed he did that to hurt me. The vicious intent of his act ilicited an "attack "mode in my mind. I'm leaving the bastard alone, NC and he can't seem to leave me the hell alone! And yes- next time it will be a restraining order! Just trying to keep my head above water knowing I was decieved and lied to repetitively our entire 5 yrs. And in honesty, it would bring me some type of joy to put an end to his means of exploiting everyone!
May 22 - 7PM (Reply to #15)
Introspection
Introspection's picture

game playing and morons..

XNs are no exception. There is no way from my prespective that he truly believed the panties were yours! Some of our XN are such morons that it becomes comical what they do to get attention. I'm glad to see that you went NC and thought that how you came about your information was as a result of you keeping taps...my apologies. Again, I always did the things that made me feel better even if just to cross that T or dot that i...I find it to be therapuetic...this is why my recommendation that you do what satisfies you still stands. Have a restfull rest of the weekend sweetheart.
May 22 - 11AM
betty2020
betty2020's picture

I refer to it as "Justice"

I refer to it as "Justice" not revenge. They waltz through life because people turn a blind eye to their destructive actions. Their entire network is full of enablers. Not me anymore. I choose to speak out and expose him. I am the first person in his life to do this. Many wont listen now, but just planting the seed will make people look a little closer at who this person really is the next time he acts out.

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

May 19 - 2PM
masquerades (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

"...I dont want anything bad

"...I dont want anything bad to happen to him because I still feel I love him no matter what..that is unconditional love..." Well, smileyfacepr, whatever works for you – but for me – I don’t want anything bad to happen to him because...I'm working bloody hard at not giving an effing shit. Now that’s what I call unconditional love...for myself. "...Life will get him back!!!..." We hope it would, but sometimes this is not going to be the truth. Painful and as unfair as it may be...some WILL get through life dandy. They’ll flourish. They’ll generate enormous amounts of wealth. Their good looks will be preserved. They will boast a host of adoring family/lovers/friends. They won't be touched by life’s troubles. They will not bear the consequences of their behaviour... Personally I have the sneaky suspicion that karma may be overrated. Who’s to tell?
May 22 - 1PM (Reply to #6)
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

MASQUERADES

Hi ladies...I dont know what I said that maybe u misunderstood, when I said I still feel that I love him and dont want anything bad to happen to him. I feel that if I want something bad to happen to him its gonna come back to me and I will never move on. I am a good person and cannot desire anything bad for anyone else. What kind of person would I be if I wanted ill for someone I loved so much? Yes I am selfish because I do not want him to be w anyone else that is the worse I want for him. If I am going to heal I must focus on myself and not on him. But when u truely love someone no matter what they do u still love..we cannot help this..thats y we r here..to move on from that and support eachother doing so!! Sorry if anyone misunderstood! I too am working very hard on not giving a crap!!! I do believe in karma, maybe their karma is that they will never b truly happy, I also believe that everything happens for a reason!! Love and peace to all, smileyfacepr

smileyfacepr

May 23 - 1PM (Reply to #7)
masquerades (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

smileyfacepr

Hi smileyfacepr, No, you’re not misunderstood, but your comment about unconditional love certainly triggered something in me that I felt I wanted to respond…and again I want to respond to your post. As far as I understand it a woman in love with – or who has loved – a narcissist has not loved the man per se – she loved the illusion. He (the person you ‘truly loved’) is not REAL. The only thing that he REALLY is, is a monster who coldly and purposefully targeted your vulnerabilities in order to get his needs met…and the person who loved him is left devastated. We all know, from the stories written here on this forum, that this devastation can take the form of emotional, financial, physical, spiritual and sexual devastation (some or all of them.) We are left to deal with this REALITY. In my case, I am seeing the NPD XH for what he IS – not what I believed him to be, and there is NOTHING I want to love there! And yet a couple of months ago I never believed that anyone could love another person more than I loved this man! I was prepared to go to the ends of the earth for him. I felt I would put my life on the line for him. I am also a ‘good’ person, and me not continuing to ‘love’ the N doesn’t make me any less ‘good’. (But it does make my life immeasurably better.) I do question why you would not want him to be with anyone else – is it because you would feel ‘jealous’ of his new partner, or is it because of not wishing any one else to be hurt or damaged by the N (which is the more ethical stance to take)? I disagree with your statement that “when you truly love someone no matter what they do you still love…we cannot help this…” My opinion? Not only CAN we help this, but we MUST. This thread could lead to much discussion, for instance, as Sandra L. Brown points out in her book, ‘How to Spot a Dangerous Man,’ is part of the trouble with women entering into and remaining in dangerous relationships stem from the fact that society has reinforced the idea that for women and girls it is more important to be polite than it is to question men’s behaviours that might concern us? Is it more important to accept everyone unconditionally than to see who proves trustworthy overtime? Is it more important to embrace a supposed Judeo-Christian ethic of loving the unlovable that it is to realize that it’s NOT SAFE TO LOVE EVERYONE? It is a long, confusing, bewildering, painful path each of us must take to heal from the N and each of us must find the path that works for us. We have all been hurt to a tremendous degree, but for me the thought of unconditional love for the N is not an option. I just don’t want to feel anything for him. My love is far too good for that stinking pile of shit. And I feel not just good but GREAT about that. Having said that – I am reminded every day of the potential setbacks that can occur in my recovery…seeing the N, hearing that he’s doing well, whatever…and I hope that I remain strong and thankful for getting out of the relationship so soon. The alternative is very very frightening… Love to you.
May 23 - 5PM (Reply to #11)
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

Masquerades

Hi, sorry I had not responded I just saw ur post and it was a wonderful post at that!! I agree w/what ur saying about we love the illusion, ur right we do love the illusion of what we thought they were, however I still feel I have love for him, that is me,I also am striving to feel NOTHING for him because I dont know how I can feel for him when he does not feel for anyone! And ur right they do target us and our vulnerabilities, and I dont want a man like that! Even though he was not real, my love for him was, I did not come to realize how used and abused I was until after the fact! I am glad u have reached a better understanding than I and u r well on ur way to healing, for me this is still a daily struggle as I knowit is for all of us, and maybe I have not yet reached where u r! "It is a long, confusing, bewildering, painful path each of us must take to heal from the N and each of us must find the path that works for us. We have all been hurt to a tremendous degree, but for me the thought of unconditional love for the N is not an option. I just don’t want to feel anything for him. My love is far too good for that stinking pile of shit. And I feel not just good but GREAT about that." I totally agree w/this statment 100% no arguement there.. As far as y I dont want him to be w/anyone else is both reasons, first of all jelousy..yes selfish maybe but im being honest..It kills me to think of him w/someone else sexually and 2nd I would not want anyone else to go thru this torture! I know I still have along way to go but I will get there as I pray so will all of u! Lots of love to u also.. P.S.these discussions r great, we get to see other points of view! smileyfacepr

smileyfacepr

May 23 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

MASQUERADES...YOU GO, GIRL!

you have made great strides!...i'm proud of you!...here you are.....calling a piece of shit a piece of shit!.... unforgiving.. and unapologetic about it!!... BIG GOLD STAR FOR MASQUERADES! “I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget." - Chaim Herzog
May 23 - 2PM (Reply to #9)
masquerades (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

narcnarcwhosthere...

Thank you! This means a lot to me. Really thank you. Yes, I have made great strides - I can 'feel it in my bones.' There are still many moments where I wobble and my mind goes into a spin - but it is not for the man himself...
May 23 - 3PM (Reply to #10)
wallaby (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Masquerades!!!

It is so great to feel your strength of conviction and the wisdom of your process. You have done some hard, deep work. Kudos to you... I remember reading some of your posts when you first found the forum. You are breaking out of it..the brainwashing, the illusion, the thrall ...so hard to do...some never do....and you have! Bravo!
May 19 - 2PM (Reply to #5)
hope4me
hope4me's picture

not a believer so much

I'm not a big believer in Karma. I have seen way too many of these people do damage and move on to the next person without a blink of an eye. I have been waiting for Karma to hit my ex for years and no matter what happens, he has an ace in the hole and always comes out on top.
May 19 - 2PM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

REPORT THE BASTARD!!....

the Karma Bus doesn't run in their neighborhood......turn him in...... “I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget." - Chaim Herzog
May 19 - 11AM
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

REVENGE!!! DONT DO IT!!

Hey we all want to see them get what they deserve for destroying us however, u r better than than he is!! Do not stoop so low as to go to his level..and remember KARMA is gonna get him..but Karma works both ways..what u do comes back to u!!! So focus on doing good so good will come back to u! Its easy to get revenge but do u want it to come back to u and add to the difficulties u r already having?? I want my life to get better, and I just know Karma is out there..I dont want anything bad to happen to him because I still feel I love him no matter what..that is unconditional love..I just dont want him to be w/anyone else!! Life will get him back!!! smileyfacepr

smileyfacepr

May 19 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
enoughalready
enoughalready's picture

karma

After the panty mix-up, I had a hard time dealing with that as I knew he did that on purpose to cause me pain. Why is it we love these creatures, they know it, yet find enjoyment bringing us pain. I do believe in Karma too but wish I could see it for myself to get some type of satisfaction. I thought about it and felt bad after I wrote revenge. I even felt bad when I said a lot of hurtful things to him a few months ago. I suspected and but didn't have any solid evidence of his cheating and lying. But when he handed me another woman's panties as he thought it was mine, I was shocked and felt so dirty and used. I cried all day yesterday as I felt so low. But thanks for the advice, I'll be good and think of positive thoughts from now on..