Rosa_Lita's Story

I hope that "falling forward" doesn't mind but I borrowed her format. My story is ridiculously long and detailed, and I'm still inclined to make it into a fairy-tale. When I write the bare bones facts, at least one thing becomes clear: My name is rosa-lita and I am a narc-oholic.

This is what my narc did to me:

1. Became my “spiritual teacher” and led me into a cult. (I had just graduated college and lost a sibling.)

2. Abandoned the cult (and me) when it didn’t give him the power/prestige that his huge ego desired.

3. Occasionally wandered back into my life over the years, making me feel like I was his spiritual soul-mate and we were only separated by circumstance and distance.

4. Waited until I was married to tell me I was the love of his life. (I fell in love with him BIG TIME. I believed a lot of beautiful lies and that our relationship was “heaven-sent”.)

5. Told me his first wife abused and beat him. Left him a shell of a man.

6. Told me he had “sexsomnia” and kept sleeping with his frigid wife at night “by accident”!!!

7. Insisted that we stay in our marriages for the “sake of the children”.

8. Left his marriage four months after saying that!

9. Justified his actions by saying that his wife was possessive, jealous, demanding and sexually cold (apparently when she wasn’t being raped in the middle of the night by him!)

10. Said that there was “violence” in the marriage, remained vague on the details but acted as though it was towards him. That’s why he had to leave. (How unlucky to be abused by two women!)

11. Began a relationship with a young woman half his age despite proclaiming that he loved me “unconditionally”. He said that if my husband were to tragically pass away (!) he would commit to me in a heartbeat.

12. Told me that it should be easy for me to stay in my marriage and watch the love of my life womanize like a dog.

13. Told me it was normal and healthy to have affairs (obviously I did not believe this!)

14. Ignored me when I wrote to tell him I had an ectopic pregnancy. It could've been his child.

15. Told me all he could offer were a “few hours of happiness” in my sad, miserable life. These few hours would take place whenever he came back into town, IF he felt like it.

16. Ignored any e-mail I wrote that expressed my sadness, confusion and disappointment at the way our “spiritual love” had unraveled into a kind of insanity.

17. Wrote to tell me he had met someone else, that he was ready to be in a committed relationship because it was not “normal and healthy” to have affairs (see #13). He was ending *all* of his “intimate” relations, but that he wanted to be “friends”.

18. See # 16! ... IGNORED and DISMISSED :)

19.Told me in words that he “loved me unconditionally” and “would always be there for me”, when his actions showed the exact opposite.

19. Ruined and made the last three years of my life and emotional hell.

20. Practically destroyed my marriage and my ability to love in a healthy way.

21. I told him that I think he is a monster and never want to see him again in this life or the next.

22. He responded to me e-mail but I’ll never know what it said. I will always delete any e-mail he sends me from this point forward.

PHEW! Wow, this is still really long. Thank you for reading/listening if you made it this far.