Sex with a Narc

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#1 Feb 9 - 9AM
Snowflake's picture

Sex with a Narc

A lot of us here are blinded by the sex being great with a Narc..I am just starting to think mine wasnt. The drama/tension probably heightened the experience but hey that was my own work :)

A lot of N's enjoy sexy an affair/not seeing the N much that can be exciting...but do you really want to do that every day?

Do you want to feel like an object..when I think back even trying to get me off I think was an ego thing for the N..couldnt possibly have a woman not think he was great..and yeah I did fake it..I never told him because he was trying so damn hard...

Do you want to be seen as a blow up doll with three holes?

And if you say no..well then you werent satisfying his needs and he is perfectly ok to look elsewhere.

Chemistry soon becomes a really shallow feeling when you realise there is no emotions there.

Do you want to demean may try to play the whore but when he switches to wanting mummy you will be forever tainted.

Maybe not every single N is crap in bed but most are I bet. Their selfishness means they always will be.

Just dont forget to say yes with a lustful really blown away look on your face when he asks you did I do it for you


Feb 13 - 7PM
matahari's picture

small dick pot bellied pig

My ex narc wanted me to entice him ie dress like a whore..we had sex once a month if i was lucky.He said he only got horney in the spring ( I thought i had married a sheep)LOL!!AND IT GOT WORSE! Things he wanted me to do: Tattoo my fanny with a butterfly. Pierce my labia and have rings put on them and weights so that they reach the floor according to him!!WHAT! Pierce my nipples(which i did)ouch!!but took them out after a year. Said my nipples were too small and even bought me a suction pump! wanted to do a sex video of me to put on the net so that other men could masterbate over me....emmmm kept wanting me to use a quarter cup bra....and wanted me to go braless using a white T shirt in public... favorite saying.....when you enter the magic palace you sign blank cheques!!ya I signed the damn blank cheques...BASTARD! I was not allowed on his computer or study...we know why!bastard was wanking away at porn!! used to say 'if it floats, flies or fucks its better to rent than buy' dick head! Used to choke me while having sex then watching me as he did it(thank God im still alive!) used to wash himself after sex as though it was a dirty act, then a cup of tea then i was dismissed. our double bed was the biggest ever and he would always turn his back to me...never gave me a cuddle or said he loved me except in the early days when he was dupeing me. would talk about everything under the sun except our relationship....said he was a relationship basket case and i should have listened he was telling the truth!(for once). WHY DID I STAY FOR 7 YRS?...she is welcome to him the small dick pot bellied pig doing a DBA at dur$£% university ..(I should have used the suction pump on him)he should have had a penis extention it would have served him better.LOL!! Am i bitter......NO NO lol!!!!
Feb 13 - 5PM
mirrorshaker's picture

My n once said

That he loved to make a woman orgasm because when she climaxed she was completely under his control. Such a red flag and I completely missed it!!
Feb 11 - 8PM
missym's picture

Mine was/is gorgeous

Mine was/is gorgeous too....6'4, dark and handsome. And he knows it and his looks were/are his greatest priority. He spent all his time on maintaining his looks and image. There was never any "relaxedness" in our relationship related to how we age, any comfort that we would still love each other as that happened, and he D/D me for years on my looks and how they were not "good enough". (Since I divorced, there has been PLENTY of validation from men that this is NOT the case). He masturbated constantly - from the beginning of our 18 year R - and to porn and that greatly impacted the depth of our own sex life. He could never be intimate or emotional with me during sex....and we never had make up sex, sex upon us coming back together after being apart for business or whatever, or any other time that called for him to "miss me" or want to show me his "love". Just did not happen. Never EVER told me I was beautiful, sexy any kind of intimate statements during lovemaking..... When we did have sex, which was usually far spaced apart, it was the same, rote and mechanical process he always had. IF I got too forward and wanted to express my own sensuality, he resisted and got pissed. And finally, he probably came in me 10 times in 18 years. He could never fuck me and climax in me....probably due to his constant masturbation that nothing else could quite measure up to. I or he would always finish him off. He never came in the shower with me, would not take a bath with me, never surprised me with any fun "sexual, loving acts" of any type. I NEVER orgasmed with him....not once. I would with my vibrator or in other ways..but never during sex with him.
Feb 11 - 5PM
alicepaul's picture

Mine was a complete disappointment.

The N/P is gorgeous, tall, long brown hair, sky blue eyes and dimples. He still looks great for just turning 43. He looks like a movie star. Sometimes I would look at him and forget to breathe. BUT, when it came to the deed, it was a different story. After bragging for months about how big he was, how he was going to destroy me, how he would make all the other guys I've been with look like boys, he didn't live up to any of it! Basically he just masturbated with my body with a small, semi-hard penis that I am convinced he has surgically enlarged!. Sure, he had some endurance, but it was mechanical and emotionless. I had to put in extra effort and feeling to even make it passable. This was the same guy who told me he's wanted me for many years. I thought he would rock my world. I was actually in shock at the disparity, but I played it off to him like he was so great, puke. Oh, he also asked me if he was "better" than his bandmate who I had dated several years ago, I lied and said yes. I didn't have the heart to tell him that his friend was actually one of the best lovers I've ever had. I couldn't be that brutally honest, it would have killed him. But then again, N/P really hooked me with his poor-me act, so the sex didn't have any hold on me. It was the betrayal of my friendship that gutted me.
Feb 11 - 1PM
Journey's picture

In the beginning it was the

In the beginning it was the best sex ever. BUT, only in the beginning. After that it was him withholding and accusing me of being a sex addict or not respecting HIM because I wanted it. He had to be in complete control and by the time I knew that, the great sex was a fading memory. It was all about him, just like everything else.

Journey on...

Feb 10 - 10PM
Dee30's picture

orgasmed twiice in 2 years

enough said.
Feb 11 - 3AM (Reply to #42)
midnight7's picture

Know how you feel Dee, 5

Know how you feel Dee, 5 orgasms in 10 years - foreplay virtually unknown - it was the most boring, mechanical, unsatisfying, and at times creepy sex I've ever known. They just want a (porn) object. It was all about him as everything else is with a N. There's an Oscar somewhere for my orgasm faking.
Feb 11 - 2PM (Reply to #44)
pamela1's picture

You just made me laugh out

You just made me laugh out thanks. =)
Feb 11 - 1PM (Reply to #43)
neverlookback's picture

Same Here

NEVER had an orgasm with the freak!! Then he would ask so how many times did you orgasm? and I would say, oh baby too many to count, ha ha ha An while we are venting here someone needs to tell my x path how to wipe his ass better, wonder if he grasps the concept that his parts are a couple inches from where he poops - get tired of the old joke about women and the "fishing expedition" they say it is, when they smell like SHIT. I kid you not, maybe you should hop in the shower and scrub yourself before you pollute the bed with your stench!! On second thought I hope he has not corrected this - nice little treat for his new victims to discover
Feb 10 - 10PM
brinamarie's picture

still traumatized. sex was

still traumatized. sex was AMAZING in the beginning, but eventually it felt emotionless & detached (duh, of course) -i would wake up to him having sex w/ me nights i slept over -he would purposely withhold sex from me -one time when he was drunk, he forced anal sex, i had to literally throw him off of me & was crying. he went to sleep -in the beginning it was all about My pleasure, in the end he'd purposely not let me accomplish my "pleasure" -force my head down onto his manhood omg, so many disgusting loveless memories. yuck yuck yuck
Feb 11 - 2PM (Reply to #40)
pamela1's picture

I would wake up to him having

I would wake up to him having sex with me also...He also wanted to drug me and than have sex while I was "out of it".... A lot of other creepy things too embarrassing to mention. Yuck!
Feb 11 - 7AM (Reply to #39)
Snowflake's picture

The humerous ones made me laugh

but seriously there are some sick shits out there x
Feb 10 - 4AM
Emma's picture

I always had to have sex with

I always had to have sex with the narc, even if I didn't want it. If he wanted it and I didn't, hed continuously go on and on and in until he got his own way or he'd make me suffer with his rages and sulks. He'd tell me I was ignoring him!! Not having sex with him was never an option if I wanted an easy life!
Feb 9 - 7PM
iwanttoheal's picture


Mine would like to "pretend" strangle me during sex. I had never even heard of this. He clearly found it extremely arousing, but then when we discussed it afterward he would swear he had read that women liked it and it was purely for my pleasure (and I was no where near orgasm at the time - I've heard that can be true). What's odd is that intellectually I knew he was doing it because and only because it turned him on. But he kept denying it and was so convincing, that I thought he really was doing it for me... I mean, I knew, but he was SO CONVINCING, always saying, "well, then now that I understand, I won't do it again." But then he would do it again...
Feb 11 - 12AM (Reply to #36)
nomoredenial's picture


that is some seriously scary shit
Feb 10 - 5AM (Reply to #35)
dudette's picture

Mine too

That's exactly what he did and he had this intense look on his face, looking into my eyes with these black evil eyes
Feb 9 - 8PM (Reply to #34)
narcfreeinms's picture

Should have strangled him

ith- You should have strangled him! I think all our men must be related. Their family trees must have ONE BRANCH.
Feb 9 - 8PM (Reply to #30)
SundaySmile's picture

strangled too

iwanttoheal Yup. I hear ya. He would put his hands on my neck and push a little at first then more. Then it was the old fishhooking my mouth like they do in porn. HELL NO. A lil rough is fine. Not to include choking and doing it again when I did not like it. Fishhook my mouth again and I will body slam him into next wk. Yeah I heard the now that I understand it shit too. Its all a lie. They WILL do it again because you hate it.
Feb 11 - 7AM (Reply to #31)
nlvr7's picture

Ditto on t choking/fish hook combo

And mine never went down either, selfish. He never got me off but I faked it...
Feb 11 - 7AM (Reply to #33)
SundaySmile's picture

nlvr good lord what is this

a fishing expedition? I never ever ever will understand this at all. EVER. It's not fun, erotic or exemplary of respect or love. OH. I get it.
Feb 11 - 7AM (Reply to #32)
neverlookback's picture

I can relate to that!!!!

I realize some men dont do that, so at first I gave him the benefit of the doubt and said ok, no big deal .... BUT, he performed oral at our First encounter then like three years later just out of the blue decided to go down, it really shocked me and I told him NO, (guess I was thinking in the back of my mind he really didnt like it so I felt uncomfortable) and I resisted and he started to put his hands around my neck and force me to let him.... is there such a thing as being orally raped I wonder? Perhaps, but I think as all of you described he forced it because he got off on the power over me - I had read MANY dont perform oral and it would stand to reason because that is a direct performance of totally pleasing US, it has nothing to do with HIM, there is no fun in it if they know they are giving us something WE would want of course only to gain power and control over their sexual partners but NOT because HE actually enjoyed it. They are F-d up sexually they are into inflicting pain sexually - they are EXTREMELY sadistic emotionally and sexually -
Feb 9 - 7PM
neverlookback's picture

ah yes

sex with the path, lets see... "Now isnt that the best feeling dick you have ever had inside you"? Well seeing as you suffer from ED I cant say that it is. It seemed his erection was guided by his deep seeded need to devalue and degrade me, the more he could do that the more erect he became. If I were to offer love, intimacy or ever wanted it back he would become Mr. ED So was sex with the path good? Well sure if you were in a porn film and he was the director. It was disgusting, filthy, degrading, demeaning, empty, sick, perverse and void of ALL emotion and ALL love or anything you could feel on a deeper level. He literally had to watch porn to become aroused and I had to say filthy things to sustain it. YUCK, no thanks too much work for me I prefer sex that is guided with the passion and intensity of real love and bonding between TWO people, (not just one) and I prefer to have sex with a human being not a reptile
Feb 9 - 7PM (Reply to #28)
SundaySmile's picture

NLB must be same man

I swear this is the same thing I endured. I like a lil twisted but not devaluing to the degree that STOP means STOP and NO means I do not like it. "It seemed his erection was guided by his deep seeded need to devalue and degrade me, the more he could do that the more erect he became. If I were to offer love, intimacy or ever wanted it back he would become Mr. ED So was sex with the path good? Well sure if you were in a porn film and he was the director. It was disgusting, filthy, degrading, demeaning, empty, sick, perverse and void of ALL emotion and ALL love or anything you could feel on a deeper level. He literally had to watch porn to become aroused and I had to say filthy things to sustain it.' Ugh. Yes. Yes. This ^ though he didnt need porn with me. Devaluing was enough. The second I would try to be loving, gentle, kind, sweet....Mr Limpy. It was like one big weener yawn.
Feb 9 - 3PM
prettypeeved's picture

I'm capable of far more fun

I'm capable of far more fun sex games than he ever will be. His idea of sex was like everything else with him - totally selfish, his needs, his satisfaction.
Feb 9 - 3PM
SundaySmile's picture

Oh yeah baby

I wanted it to be an emotional connect but he always defiled and degraded me and there was never tender sex. No loving sex. It was the upping the ante he felt necessary each and every time telling me he told me he was going to find ways I never knew to feel pleasure. Bedroom theatrics aside - which is fun - but the degrading talk all the time was NOT. Here are some lines: You always come back to me because "name" knows how to F+++ you like no other man. You always come back because I have the biggest _ _ _ _ Tell me you missed me. TELL ME. Tell me you love me. SAY IT. You always come back for more because you can't stand to be away from my big _ _ _ _. No other man touched you like I do. You were nothing but a cum receptacle to all men until you met me. (I asked him to talk dirty to me. WOW. ) When I said that was abusive talk he claimed he did not know proper etiquette for talking dirty. No apology. No change. No acceptance that I did not like that. Saying EFF ME or talking to me dirty as I told him nicely - did not need to involve me being a used up slut who cannot live without his mediocre cock. How many times he would DEMAND I tell him when I was getting off? I lost count. Not only that I tried to tell him I can't say ANYTHING during that special moment. But he insisted every single time. I was adventurous, willing and fun with him. But the devaluing talk each and every time - I could not get off anymore. I told him this. I asked can we not have normal nice happy loving sex? Seems the only way he could keep it hard was to tell me to get over there and get to work with my lips - he was losing his erection. It was cruel the way he would say it. Never ever told me I was pretty or he loved me during sex. It was always negative dirty talk. Devaluing. I felt so drained and at the mercy of being dumped the way he would tell me he wondered how many ways he could get me off. He would ask how many times I got off in one night. I worried that unless I was taped to a chandelier screaming I was his whore that he would bore of me and kick me to the curb. I am in shape. I smell nice. I have a cute face. I dress nice. Watching him amble into the bathroom to spit up a huge snot ball after sex with his gut protruding and hunched over made me realize I was a jerk. Not him. Because I stayed for the abuse. He would also say "It's alllll about meeeee" and then switch back and say "It's alllll about youuuuu" as though he were trying to see which I responded to more. I just wanted to have loving sex where I was not being turned inside out or flipped every which way while being devalued. Once in a damned while was too much to ask. I like fun sex. I like adventurous sex. I do not like having to feel if I was not acrobat of the night I would be traded in for someone else. I did not like being personally devalued. It sucks and still does.
Feb 9 - 5PM (Reply to #21)
narcfreeinms's picture

GoergiaSun, Ain't it the truth!

We can all relate. I have a question regarding how they look at us compared to how we look at them. Did ya'll love your narcs any less if they put on some pounds? Or did you love them for what you hoped they could possibly be as a good man. We all know they can't be good men. But we clinged to the hope of them being a good man. What makes them think they're hot studs after gaining weight, and that they look at us like we're fat cows when we gain weight? Some of our narcs might have been "10s". But many were probably ordinary, decent looking men that we were attracted to and loved regardless. With that being said, I used to be fairly attractive and didn't have a problem getting dates, etc. A few years after getting sicker and being married, my looks changed. And now I don't look ANYTHING like I did just a couple of years ago. But that's life. I think about how in love I was with my husband, and loved him deeply even as he gained weight and didn't have the muscular structure that he had the first few years of our marriage. My love didn't decrease as his weight increased. In fact, if anything, I loved him more when I'd see glimpses of hope that he was trying to be a better man. The physical aspect didn't bother me. But now that I'm pretty sure he's got a younger gal because he has money and she is his next vitim, I think to myself, "Who the &@&! do you think you are? You were good-looking, but you sure as hell were no "10" then, and sure as hell are no "10" now you worthless tubbo!" And to think about what they HAD to tell us to say and do to make them feel like they were all that and then some! It's one thing to say, "Hey, babe, that feels good. But if you could touch me this way or how about let's try us doing this..." I wouldn't have minded in the least. Because I did make suggestions in a romantic, fun and sexy way to give him the idea of what I wanted. He tried. But it eventually became about him in the end. Fun, fun. And you know what's funny? I even tried using reverse psychology on him to see how he'd react when I told him I wanted to do some freaky, painful stuff after he pulled sudden stuff on me during intimate moments. I wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. But narcs don't get the message you try to send - EVER. And girls, let me say that it scared the hell out of him. He'd look at me like I was the devil. Like I'd lost my mind. I borrowed a friend's "play" whip, handcuffs, and lit a candle. When we got into the moment, I told him to close his eyes and wait a second. I threw the tools onto the bed and said, "Alright, sweetie, get ready for the rough stuff. You're MY bitch tonight!" I told him I was going to handcuff him to the bed, whip the hell out of his ass like he did to me, and pour hot candle wax on his THANG, and ride him like the stud (jackass) he was. And I promised him that he'd enjoy it. I've never seen him move so fast in all of my life! That man couldn't get off the bed quick enough and told me I'd lost my damn mind. I said, "Come on baby. I'll be gentle. I promise." I wanted to laugh so badly, but held it in. I said, "I thought you wanted us to be more adventurous. I'm confused." Evidently the crap that is done in the rough pornos that these guys love to watch, isn't necessarily what they want US to do to them. It's that THEY want to do it to us. They get off on the power, pain, and degradation that is seen in those pornos, as well as the pain and degradation they cause us in the most intimate times. And with that, he never pulled the really rough stuff on me again unless I was really sick and weak. Now I'm free. I can feel pleasure when the mood strikes me and my health is fine, and I'm not forced to say stupid things or pretend anymore. Orgasms are wonderful things when you don't have some idiot telling you in your ear to tell them how great they are and how they made you have 20 million orgasms. Narcs are so delusional and idiotic. Man it feels good to just simply be... :)
Feb 11 - 3PM (Reply to #25)
greengirl91's picture

"Alright, sweetie, get ready

"Alright, sweetie, get ready for the rough stuff. You're MY bitch tonight!" Gooood, I laughed so hard when I read that!! lool, Good for you that you do that, man it must have been fun to watch him and his expression changing when he heard about the rough stuff!! Hilarious, thank you for sharing!
Feb 9 - 7PM (Reply to #22)
SundaySmile's picture

narcfreeinms jackass yehaaaaaaaaw indeed

"and ride him like the stud (jackass) he was. " (spitting water on screen imagining this). LMAO You bring up a valid comment. About the attraction and weight and so forth. I lose weight when I am upset. I can't eat. I was already thin but muscular. I did look gaunt and to me that is not a good look. When I was drained as you describe in your marriage, I too, looked worn out. I always made sure my nails were nice, my skin smooth and smelled nice for him. I dressed nicely and my sox always matched. I ate breath mints and put on makeup. He did nothing to improve his looks and honestly I liked that he was not at all my type and quite frankly, a lot older than the photo he posted online whereby we met. I forgot to add he misrepresented his age by one yr - a misrepresentation of many to come no less. When I met him I thought - oh wow. This is the same guy? Even the one in the photo was not my kind of turn on and it made me feel more secure as I have dated handsome men with whom I had to keep the eyes on the back of my head alert at all times. I won't disparage him though I want to because I am mad at myself for letting the douche treat me like I was gross when he smelled like cat shit half the time. My teeth - whitened. His? Yellow. Dark yellow. And I could see all of them as he chewed with his mouth wide open with the likes of a flip top head. The smacking noise sounded like a bunch of piglets nursing and I had to look at him incredulously when he first did it thinking he would laugh and was kidding. No. He actually chews with his gills ajar and would suck the flesh off a papaya like it was his last meal. Problem being it was like watching a fruit porn. I mean FRUIT as in papaya, oranges, etc. He did not close the door when we started dating when he would pee. Some things I do not need to care I don't care how or where he just had his penis in proximity. I do not need nor want to listen to him grunt and fart as he peed. Hacking up huge boogers from his lungs as he brushed his tongue and teeth just before he would come back in the room and try to get sexy time with me was such a vulgar turn off. When he gagged himself out a mucous ball, I would in turn GAG sitting there listening to it. No door closed. No apology. VERY first time. No break in period. Blowing his nose in bed all the time - weird. Always honking boogers out but I felt he had some condition like post nasal drip or something. I think I damn near vomited when he told me he had an ass colonic. He said once. I bet it was on a regular basis. There are some things that just made me want to run away screaming. I buff and puff and lotion my feet and he would find one tiny imperfection or callous from my running or boxing classes and harp on it telling me how to fix it. I was not complaining. HE was. But go ahead and stick your stomach out and hunch like you could care less all you want. I tried that same thing you did in fun - I said go get duct tape. I am taping your ass to the bed. He refused. I insisted and he adamantly refused though said he wanted to another time. Why? Because it was not his way and his decision. I said okay. And did not bring it up again. The big baby got his way as usual. He called ALL the shots. I knew when his kisses nauseated me that I had had enough abuse. I felt like vomiting at the site of this N jackwad squeeking off on me while he never cared one ounce. I kept hoping. Like you said - I did not care if he gained weight and he did when he dumped me once. When he came back for me - I saw it and it was weird but I didn't care. I loved HIM. I did not care that he HAD to shower after sex each and every time and put on clothes as though he was disgusted. I did not care that he was older, no musculature at all - I swear I have bigger muscles. Seriously. He does work out but has no idea how. I offered to help coach as its my field but NO NO NO. Can't do that. He knows it ALL. He basically inferred I should go home from his house after sex even the FIRST time as he cannot sleep with anyone and it was a SCHOOL night. I think he meant he had to work in the morning. Well shit - you can skull EFF me but not let me sleep with you???? After he got off it was - - -see ya. I had to explain to him this was abnormal. I did the walk of shame to my car he didnt even want to walk me out. I did not call him again. My male friends said something was wrong with him. No man would kick a woman with good lovin out of bed. They all told me they would wrap their legs around the gal and try to get it again in the morning. He called for days after the 1st time and I refused to call him back. Enter the CHASE. Finally I answered and he went on about his last 4 days and I told him he treated me like a whore. He claimed he had no idea what I meant and no one ever complained. He also said he was not familiar with this etiquette. JFC you are 50+. At some point you knew this kind of behavior is JACKED UP. SOMEONE has told you! And he said he would like the opportunity to try to discuss said things in the future without me cutting him off. Baby if I have to explain such simple concepts to you - you are playing dumb. Delusional. YES. And SO WAS I thinking he would come around with his psychobabble that sounded plausible. Duh me.
Feb 13 - 9AM (Reply to #23)
JustBreathe's picture

That foot callous thing hits

That foot callous thing hits home. I was a ballet dancer for many years, so I was in pretty good shape. But, dancing takes a toll on one's feet. I, too, made a huge effort to get pedicures and make sure my feet were soft. Still, he would make a point to inspect them and comment on the callouses. Little snide comments that insinuated that I disgust him. All the while he himself had PLENTY of physical attributes he should have been working to improve....
Feb 13 - 12PM (Reply to #24)
SundaySmile's picture

That is so callous

Been a heck of a day so I opted for the pun. I wish I had callouses from ballet. Would have meant I was good at it! LOL All the effort you put into making your piggies look and feel nice. Did you ever think ; if you think they are bad now you should have seen them before I buffed puffed and lotioned them? I think it would have been more relieving to stuff my toes in his yapping trap and tell him to suck em. Instead - easier to sit there thinking I suck because I didn't do a good enough job. You dummy - why didn't you see that lump or bump? Always second guessing my efforts and helping him contribute to the guilt.