She stabbed me in the back!!
She stabbed me in the back!!
I've just come back on here say hello and to refresh my memory of what happened to me. I've been no contact for well over a year now. And OMG do i feel better for it. I won't go into the long story - the short is this.. (once my best friend forever and person i was going to marry) ended up shagging her boss behind my back.. same sort of story as everyone else here really. A supposed friend shits on you. And will lie like hell to cover it up.
Some words of comfort and advice...
1. It will get easier... it's fucking hell at first.. the truth will set you free - but God it will piss you off at first. But i can assure you it gets easier, in time.
2. Give yourself time.. be kind to yourself. The most important person in your life - IS YOU!!
Look after yourself. Stop being a people pleaser (which i think we are all guilty of on here) and say 'no' if you think it isn't what YOU want!
3. One BIG word of advice... what ever happened to you will happen to him. 'Past behaviour predicts future behaviour.' She shagged the boss behind my back.. she'll soon be shagging someone else behind his back! THEY NEVER CHANGE.
She said some god awful shit to me, and the silent treatment. He'll get the same.. poor sod.
4. Never think it will be better next time.. it won't be. They never change. I know 3 people that are n or PD what ever you want to call it. One guy i've known for years.. and he hasn't changed, the women have all ended up the same... dumped!! and hurting really badly!!! They (ns) always come back, in some shape or form.. through friends, family, facebook, anything. These comebacks are called 'curtain calls' and you'll be on that stage forever until you choose to walk off! It ain't worth it!
5. STAY AWAY!!!... NO contact is the by far the best formula. And it works. She hasn't contacted me. Not yet anyway. I had a christmas card 2010. But I didn't send one back. I saw after a show last May 2011. And i snubbed her. Said hello and said goodbye all in the same sentence.. She was stunned! Tuff shit! Indifference is your best and only defence.
6. Be thankful.. yeah, this is a hard one.. but in actual fact you've dodged a bullet!..
Imagine living with someone that you feel isn't real!.. Walking on eggshells.. wondering, where has that once lovely person gone.. why hasn't she come home yet? Why do i feel not good enough? HELL! I can tell you and it gets worse over time that's why they dump you because you just might see through them.
I know i dodged a bullet and if i spend the rest of my life on my own - i would sooner have full life on my own than have a shitty life with a person like that!
They are empty they... run on empty and expect you to fill 'em up! Great at first - but it don't last!! a facade, a false self. A champagne bottle that's empty!
“Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people… not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!” – A.V.
They picked you.. simple because you were the best...
And, actually, you still are.