She.can.have.him.'s story

16 years of marriage and I didn't know?!?!

My soon to be ex husband is a total narc and I never knew. I knew he was narcissistic but by that I just thought self centered big ego, craves attention. I had no idea the NPD issues until a few friend pointed it out. My therapist told me I should buy a few book. I did and was floored! My narc is a senior executive making over a million dollars. He has everyone eating out of his hand with his over the top personality. He was in line to lead the company and after what he has done that look that won't be happening. After a one year whirlwind romance we were married had kids right away and I played the part of the good wife and mother. I thought what we had was real but looking back it was all an act. We never had any marital issues or fights. I was the empath and let him be the king and always did what he wanted to do etc. All that was important to him is work. He loved all the attention from others NS. He traveled a lot and seemed to care about others kids and relationships more than his own. About two years ago he became very obsessed with diet and excercise. He got in great shape and changed diets every few months based on the last book he read. He was all over me to work out eat better etc. (which I did ) I probably was still 5 pounds heavier than ideal weight. I keep thinking midlife crisis this will pass. During this time I no longer gave him the NS he needed. I got a texted followed by a phone call (he was on a business trip) that he just wasn't happy in the marriage and wanted a divorce. Mind you I asked him monthly if he was happy with our marriage and the answer was always yes. He admitted he was unfaithful but it was a fling and meant nothing. He then called our children and told them he we were getting a divorce and he cheated ( so inappropriate they are teens) he went around telling everyone at work and our friends we had been having problems for years it was amicable etc. People were shocked because we looked like the perfect family. He sunk his own ship by bragging to a co worker about his wonderful new girlfriend even had her on screen saver of phone after two weeks. At the same time his new girlfriend was bragging as well in her town. Well these two "friends" were disgusted and word got back to me and other family members. Talk about collateral damage. He is the joke of the town. I am the poor victim. I realize I was not that happy and would have agreed to divorce had he asked. He had such a way of complimenting me and right after tearing me down. He basically gave me full custody and spends all of he free time in her city. I will be just fine living with less than half. Hope he is happy. She can have him!