Shocking Update !

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#1 Jan 26 - 11AM
newlifeway
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Shocking Update !

I just recieved a nasty phone call from my husband. His first words out of his mounth were ' Well, I hope YOUR HAPPY! because she had a follow up appt with her OBGYN and no heart beat was found on ultra sound. She lost my baby."

Part of me wanted to say 'I am so sorry' but I just listened. He raged on the phone and accused me of praying for this!! I can't believe all the mean things he said to me! he felt like this was my fault or doing. I never contacted her, not once. I never said anything or upset her in anyway. I left it all alone! I didn't even want to see her!

I am in shock!

So much has happened in such a short period of time. His whole reason for moving in with her was because of the baby, and now there is no baby. I would never wish a miscarriage on anyone, ever. I have never prayed for anything bad to happen or asked God to hurt anyone.

I ended up hanging up the phone in his face because he was yelling at me. I don't know what to say about this news, I am still feeling numb from the realization.

I don't feel anything really because I have dealt with so much emotional pain over the last weeks.

I don't feel sorry for him, or her honestly.I know she is young and this is hard but I have lost my family due to their affair. I can't mourn the loss of their child with them!

So she has lost the baby. Right after he moved in.

I am really speechless. I am just praying today God will give me strength to deal with his anger. I can't believe he called ME and yelled at ME! did he call anyone else and yell at them!? how insensitve & cruel to ME to say those things!! to accuse of praying for a baby to die? or say it makes me happy!

Jan 26 - 4PM
Night Owl
Night Owl's picture

Please don't let him move

Please don't let him move back in. If she did lose the baby I can't see their relationship lasting, I would think she would want somebody closer to her age. Please don't take him back!!!
Jan 26 - 4PM
dulcinea441
dulcinea441's picture

You're dealing with a Narc,

You're dealing with a Narc, so who knows if what he told you was even half-way true. It reminds me of the time my ex accused me of giving his son nightmares from thousands of miles away, as though I were some sort of malevolent witch who steals children's souls. Your ex was just using the occasion to try to inflict more pain on YOU. We know he doesn't really care about anything but his own ego. He might as well have lost his prized set of golf clubs, or whatever. Probably he's with the OW right now, berating and abusing HER, saying she caused her own miscarriage because of her evil thoughts, etc. Remember what you're dealing with, here.
Jan 26 - 4PM (Reply to #38)
newlifeway
newlifeway's picture

once

I hired my attorney he was different to me. Almost insulted that I was leaving him. He just cleaned his hands of us it has felt like. I can't believe this has all happened in the SAME week as him leaving his family. The more I have read up on PD the more I see him in so many descriptions. He didn't get this his way afterall, he faces a lot of legal issues if her parents can proceed with charges. This OG is inlove with him, she is a high schooler! and he left his family to take care of her. I realize he wanted to blame someone and he thought to call me! He doesn't like it when things do go his way, and usually they always have. He has been sneaking around with her for a while now and I think he wanted to be with her, mold her into his perfect supply, and he will continue to do that, and if he avoid legal action because she won't cooperate then all the better for him.
Jan 26 - 4PM (Reply to #39)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Keep reading.. I don't think

Keep reading.. I don't think so.. What was once perfect is now lost.. (baby) any glitch causes the mask to fall off.. This OG has just ran into the Devil.. The Devil will be in search of new supply... Again.. I'm sorry this is going to continue to get more crazy ... DO NOT engage in any of it.. He owns this problem.. Hunter
Jan 26 - 4PM (Reply to #36)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Dulcninea

Youre sooo right..you always provide great advice.. Don't be such a stranger.. Hunter
Jan 26 - 9PM (Reply to #37)
dulcinea441
dulcinea441's picture

Aww, thank you, Hunter. I

Aww, thank you, Hunter. I feel like I've earned my Eagle Scout badge with that compliment from you! :)
Jan 26 - 3PM
walking_on_sunshine
walking_on_sunshine's picture

Do you think its possible

Do you think its possible that she actually got an abortion but didn't tell her parents because of the church? It does all seem really surreal. If you are sure she was pregnant, do you think its possible that she got an abortion either with his manipulative encouragement or possibly she even kept it from him ? Regardless, it doesn't matter anyway, just a relief in a sadly found way, for you, that a lot of drama has now been alleviated. Please don't go back though, now that you know how he is. Sending you strength and love xo
Jan 26 - 3PM (Reply to #34)
newlifeway
newlifeway's picture

no going back

No I don't think she had an abortion. She did not want one. She was happy about this, he just moved in with her to 'take care' of her. Her Parents are christian. I have no reason to think she had an abortion. She went to a regular exam today and there was no heart beat. I do not know her, but I know she is in love with my husband, and wanted his baby. I am relieved only because I don't have to explain this to my children (the new baby sibling) so that is my only relief. Nothing has changed other than she is not having a baby now, I don't think this will split them up. He has been secretly running around hiding to see her for half a year, so I don't believe it's over for them.
Jan 26 - 2PM
Run4it
Run4it's picture

Newlifeway

what a turn of events. Praying for your strengthe, wisdom and willingness to let go and let God.
Jan 26 - 2PM (Reply to #32)
Run4it
Run4it's picture

and....

Get off the track before the train hits you....just read that and it applies here as well.
Jan 26 - 1PM
Dee30
Dee30's picture

Newlife away

Wow. Your husband is something else. Huh. sounds like my exhusband. He had an affair with a 15 year old while he was 35 at the time. I even found a disturbing picture of them together. My exhusband is also a "church man" and works for the church. Till this day I get curse at with every name in the book. It is my fault he fled because he got scared. My fault for ruining our marriage. Never once felt remorse or really felt bad about what he did. In that sense I feel your pain Newlife away. Hang in there.
Jan 26 - 1PM
janemarie
janemarie's picture

WOW!!!!!

Things happen for a reason.... Be strong and be ready for him to come crawling back....He is angry now...but in time..he will come to realize all he has lost. What does he really have in common with that young girl other than sex?? Really!!! He did this to himself....never forget the pain, betrayal, and hurt he has caused you and your children....NEVER give him the opportunity to say he is sorry, and tell you some sob story of how hurt he is....He never cared about YOUR feelings... Please remember and use it as your strength to help you when he comes begging at your door!!! And he will!!! Be ready!!!! xoxo
Jan 26 - 3PM (Reply to #29)
newlifeway
newlifeway's picture

thanks

But I don't see him come crawling back to me. I think he is happy with his 18 year old and he will probably attempt to knock her up again, as this is one reason they chose to not pursue charges because he was now the father of her child. I don't think he will beg to have me or his children back in his life, leaving was TOO easy for him. I just dont think he cares, and I have been through too much now to ever believe him again or trust again.
Jan 26 - 1PM (Reply to #28)
Blessed
Blessed's picture

I agree!

I agree with Janemarie 100%!! I worry that he is unraveling and could become vindictive. My advice, having been through a nasty Narc divorce, is to keep a sharp eye on the financial accounts. Use online access and monitor each account, banking, investments, credit cards, everything! And if you can legally do so, change the locks on the house to prevent him from just returning with an intent to move back in. What a saga. Stay strong. You are a very special woman. xox
Jan 26 - 12PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

I am certain the parnets will

I am certain her parents will intervene. Will have the church and the congregation intervene as well. Have her de-programmed. She obviously has "Daddy" issues and is in deep need of therapy. He will lose everything. Serves him right. Yes, please stay clear of him! Good luck!
Jan 26 - 3PM (Reply to #26)
newlifeway
newlifeway's picture

I think so too

But I don't know that she will listen, they are living together now, as a couple. Baby or no baby, it's not over for them by a long shot.
Jan 26 - 12PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

He is probably angry not

He is probably angry not because of the loss of the baby, but because he knows the girls parents will do everything in their power to get her away from him now that she is not pregnant. And he is dealing with the possible abandonment from her. He is going to lose everything now. He called to scream at you because he wanted to blame someone, you, and he wants to intimidate you, bring you to your knees. Stay as far away from him as possible. He is deplorable, psychotic, and a pervert to boot. Stay strong!
Jan 26 - 12PM (Reply to #24)
newlifeway
newlifeway's picture

Yes

Her Parents have made it well known how they feel about him. She is very much in love with him. I don't believe he will leave her. I will stay away from him. I will do any thing I can to avoid them both.
Jan 26 - 12PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

OMG

This is truly unbelievable .. I know you are a Christian so I'm going to leave my four letter words off this post.. Don't talk to him anymore.. Bottom line.. He made his bed.. Let him go live with a girl old enough to be his child.. See how long and happy that's going to last.. I'm sure they will have many thing in common to share.. Maybe he can even take her to a Justin Bieber Concert.. Hes the one that Should be praying to God.. He should go to jail IMO.. I'm sooo Sorry this guys mask is off.. Hunter
Jan 26 - 12PM (Reply to #19)
newlifeway
newlifeway's picture

He had none of this emotion when losing his family!

Hunter thank you I guess his plans for their life w the new baby was something he was happy about, and wanted, he is very upset but didn't care nearly as much when he walked away from us. Now that she has lost the baby I don't know what that means for them as a couple, but for me and my family we are divorcing him. So regardless of this , I will proceed with the divorce. I am betting her family will attempt to go through with charges now as well (just a feeling) but she has refused to cooperate with them.
Jan 26 - 1PM (Reply to #22)
GeorgiaGirl
GeorgiaGirl's picture

Good for you

I was hoping this was what you would say (that you are still divorcing him) despite the news. I can see him hoovering you to try and get his "first" family back and that would be disasterous. My prayers to you and your family during this difficult transition. Stay strong.
Jan 26 - 12PM (Reply to #20)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

He's is going to go nuts ..

He's is going to go nuts .. He will blame this girl for losing his family.. You watch!! That is when she will side with her parents.. I hope Karma bites this guy.. He has created soo many problems and involved so many poor souls.. I'm so very sorry .. Now you need to take care of you and the kids.. I'm praying for you .. God did this to free you.. Hunter
Jan 26 - 3PM (Reply to #21)
newlifeway
newlifeway's picture

another thing

Raging at me--- because he didn't get his way? he wanted the baby! I thought of this today. He called and yelled at me, figured I must of done something, had to blame someone.I think that he felt this baby was saving his ass from charges, so I won't be surprised in the lest if he says that 'they will try again'.
Jan 26 - 12PM
LightAtTheEndOf...
LightAtTheEndOfTheTunnel's picture

And so your supposed to be

And so your supposed to be responsible for their loss?! Gimme a break what an assclown. New Way life.. i too have a belief in God and im telling you even though this has been heartbreaking for you, this may have been part of the "bigger plan" as if she hadnt got pregnant from reading your story you may not have found out about all the lies and his ongoing relationship with this girl. You owe him nothing... JackSh**! Peace and love to you beautiful lady xx
Jan 26 - 11AM
Movingforwardnow
Movingforwardnow's picture

newlifeway

DO NOT let him make you feel bad about this. Keep staying strong. Prayers and hugs headed your way!
Jan 26 - 12PM (Reply to #16)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

By contraversial

I just meant opening a debate which may upset thats all x
Jan 26 - 11AM
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

I dont mean to be controversial here

There isnt any chance she could have lied about being pregnant is there? Something doesnt smell right here hon.. Dont want to upset anyone here just my opinion..
Jan 26 - 11AM (Reply to #13)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Can I ask

How was she confirmed pregnant, was N there and how many weeks gone..prob just my susp mind, just the timing and all seems a bit fishy, I know it can and does happen and thats really sad, wouldnt wish that on anyone. Its just I have read so many mouth openers on here...
Jan 26 - 11AM (Reply to #14)
newlifeway
newlifeway's picture

she was due in June

Her Parents confirmed she was pregnant and then informed the church . I was no involved with any of that. I have no doubt what so ever that she was pregnant and the way my husband was so intent on protecting her from back lash, I have no doubt he also knew she was pregnant. Her parents had wanted to press charges because he technically impregnated her at 17.
Jan 26 - 11AM (Reply to #12)
heritage
heritage's picture

It is also odd that he just

It is also odd that he just moved in and maybe there is some trouble in paradise already besides the so called miscarriage. I agree with SFL. Something seeems odd here.