Struggling

With reigning in the brain. Struggling with school. Stuff is getting really serious, and seriously difficult.

Have a physics test later today, and was just hating studying last night. Going back to school was something I got nudged into by the ex-N, and of course once I got knee deep, I get thrown away. So I'm hating and resenting, can't focus on what I need to be doing.

Getting my a$$ handed to me later today with the "other physics" midterm I wrote last week. Beginning to doubt if I can do this in the headspace I'm in.

Then I'll be hating for caving in and not having what it takes to push through. :[ Broke down and cried last night, thinking about how my life has been totally rewired, and she's just cruising along without skipping a beat - with new guy and "our" dog to keep her company.

Thinking if I take the rest of the year off school I may not make it back, and what a waste of the year and $20k that I've already invested into the program.

Arrgh!