TALK ABOUT YOUR NARC ATTACK!

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#1 Nov 18 - 12PM

needing2know

TALK ABOUT YOUR NARC ATTACK!

Went to the store today , doing what I had to do, now mind you my narc doesn't live in my town, any way I was shopping, and out of no where someone comes up behind me and puts their hand over my eyes! I hear "guess who" my heart fell to my knees! I thought I was going to pass out! I yanked his hands down and there he was! I pushed him back and asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing, he told me I just thought I would say hello, he said I text you and you never answered, I told him I never got it lol ,Anyway I told him I had to go, he said he wanted to talk , I told him there is nothing to talk about, he asked me if I was mad at him and hated him, I said "no" I told him "Disapointed is more the word" and I walked away.

He just had this look on his face like he was dumb founded! I didn't raise my voice, I just told him take care and I left! Sunday will be 4 months for me and as much as I wanted to contact him I didn't , i have stood my ground with all of this and I entend to keep going!

#2 Nov 18 - 7PM

Susan32

The rest is silence

This happened after the final D&D, after I met the ex-Psych's girlfriend (now wife) I was in the library, emailing. There were PLENTY of empty computers to sit at... and the ex-P sat down next to me. I never felt so uncomfortable. I finished whatever I was doing, never said so much as a hello... and left. I treated him as if he didn't exist. I didn't bother explaining that either. There was really nothing to say. I had said my piece. I had nothing more to say.

#3 Nov 18 - 7PM

Winter

Needing2know

I hope you feel empowered and good about yourself! What a strength, what a willpower, what a selfcontrol! So glad and proud of you and for you! It is natural to feel low afterwards. It is emotions. They are human. I always feel triggered after each hover. I remember how much you wanted him to contact you... Now, that he did, of course you are triggered. But you have not acted out of your emotions. Wow! All my respect and admiration to you! Love Winter

#4 Nov 18 - 7PM (Reply to #21)

needing2know

Winter

You are right in the beginning I did want him to contact me, I hope and prayed for it, but now almost 4 months out and being here and educating myself everyday, and the longer he stayed away the more I hated him and the stronger I have become. I owe so much to all of you who have sen me through so far, always here for me and no judging for how I feel. I must admit I am a mess right now and have been most of the day, seeing him after 4 months made my skin crawl! I wanted to throw up!

#5 Nov 18 - 7PM (Reply to #22)

Winter

Who wouldn't in your place?

And it was not a simple lazy text, btw, which shakes and shocks most of us. Such a narc attack! Please, accept the way you feel right now. How else could you potentially feel after such a narc attack? Indifferent? Only 4 months NC? IMO, impossible. Just relax and allow yourself to feel what you feel without any guilt. Love Winter

#6 Nov 18 - 7PM (Reply to #23)

needing2know

winter

I am feeling every emotion i think there is to feel I feel sick! I have wanted to throw up since this happened. And what is IMO? yes only 4 months, but I'm getting there!

#7 Nov 18 - 8PM (Reply to #24)

Winter

Needing2know

IMO stands for "in my opinion". I can realte to what you feel. This how your body react to a virus called narc. Few days and your strong immune system will combat the viral infection. The good news is I bet you will never want to have any contact with him again, nor to be hoovered. Who would want to experience such a shock again!

#8 Nov 18 - 8PM (Reply to #25)

needing2know

winter I just posted again

I got HIT AGAIN!

#9 Nov 18 - 2PM

Dolphin

Way to go needing2know!!

I have to tell you that you your strength just inspired me to not break no contact which I am ashamed to say I was getting ready to do. I'm being attacked heavily now by my ex N. Before I hit send I decided to log on here and I saw your post.. If you can do this when he is in your face, surely I can refrain from a text. He has been pulling out all the stops and this last attempt almost worked. My life dream has been to go to a Nascar race and he hates nascar so I get a text "Do you want to go to the Nascar race with me or do you hate me that much to not respond." I was telling him off and I decided to log on here first before sending. He has no job, no money, no car and he is going 80 miles to a race?? Yeah right....If he is I am sure he needs my car, my money and supply. I deleted the text and feel stronger by doing so. What a loser..thanks for sticking up for you and for helping others by sharing!!

#10 Nov 18 - 3PM (Reply to #18)

Hunter

Dolphin

Buy your own NASCAR ticket... If you did go with him he would make the wholeexperence miserable. I can have my husband take you.. He loves it I hate it.. .. But hey different strokes for different folks!! Hunter

#11 Nov 18 - 10PM (Reply to #19)

Dolphin

Thanks Hunter :) I appreciate

Thanks Hunter :) I appreciate the offer and I will make it to the races one day. You are so right it would have been a miserable trip, I know from other past trips. It just ticked me off so bad that he had the nerve and of all things the one thing I know he hates. Just goes to show what they will do to get any response and I did want to give him a very nasty one. Emotions are in check for now. My attraction to Nascar comes from that thrill seeking part of me which I am sure played a role in where I am today. Although I never bargained for all this, just like none of us did. I will be quite content watching the left turns (LOL) from home in peace with my sanity a little more in tact.

#12 Nov 18 - 2PM (Reply to #11)

needing2know

Dolphin

You made me cry lol but in a good way, if this helps just one person not to break NC then AWESOME!!! We are stronger than we think we are when push comes to shove!!! GOOD FOR YOU FOR NOT BREAKING NC!! I am so VERY VERY PROUD OF YOU!! And thank you!

#13 Nov 18 - 8PM (Reply to #15)

Dolphin

Awwww. Thanks Needing2know.

Awwww. Thanks Needing2know. Please smile, hold your head up and know that You did help me do the right thing and will help many others.I know that was so hard for you to do and brought it all back up for you. Loving a N is so not fair and I am so sorry that happened but so thankful that you did post about it and look how far you have come to be able to do that. I was just so freaking mad and I was just gonna tell him off thinking that would make me feel better and your post made me stop and think. Even though I had no intentions of actually speaking to him, replying to a text is contact which equals me jumping right back into the fire and opening all those doors I am trying so hard to shut forever. It's not easy to sit here on Friday nite but knew better than to go out for fear of running into him and I am definitely not ready for that especially after a few drinks. There is strength in numbers!! and we all have the fight of our lives on our hands. I am a firm believer in things happen for a reason and today you were my saving grace. I am determined to never "dance with this devil" again.

#14 Nov 18 - 9PM (Reply to #16)

needing2know

Dolphin

I am so proud of you I really am, i know the feeling of wanteing to tell him off, but I never did it and I am glad I didn't they would just laugh anyway because they would have conformation that they are under our skin, my ex knows I hate to be ignored and I hate it with a passion, but today he broke his ST and I wish now he stayed silent. Don't give in to your moods it won't do you any good and it just makes him feel good. I got hit again by my first exHN i posted another thread, so I am a bit of a wreck tonight I guess it is needing2know hurricane season!

#15 Nov 18 - 10PM (Reply to #17)

Dolphin

Need2Know I am So sorry to

Need2Know I am So sorry to hear that, I went and read the other post. I know you are a strong woman and you will make it through all this. We really have a lot in common and my heart goes out to you. I decided that when my ex alcoholic would call 40 times a nite and threaten and yell into my voice machine that just showed what an idiot he really was and I took it as he realized what he lost finally and this is how he is trying to get me back,,What a loser!!It was oh so too late.Unfortunately though you need to be aware of his location for your safety, but I am sure you are always aware of your surroundings like me after living through that type of nightmare. Think positive, cut your phone off and dont allow him to invade your personal space. That will give you more strength and just like a hurricane it will blow through and the sun will shine tomorrow :) Wishing you a good relaxing night and sweet dreams :)I will continue to try to keep my emotions in check...NC NC NC

#16 Nov 18 - 3PM (Reply to #12)

spinning

Needing and Dolphin, this is so AWESOME!

This is what this forum is all about. This is how we reclaim our power. This is how we feel and share the power. I love this dialogue! It is BEAUTIFUL! Needing, you have been amazing through your ordeal. You have really changed the script... I am so proud of you and your hard, hard work. Sincerely, (determined to never again be) spinning.

spinning

#17 Nov 18 - 6PM (Reply to #14)

Winter

I find this dialogue very beautiful too!

Strong and empowered Needing2Know inspired strong (yet hesitating)Dolphin! Isn't it beautiful indeed? This is a true synergy! Long live this forum!

#18 Nov 18 - 5PM (Reply to #13)

needing2know

spinning

I felt very powerful when it happened, but not so much now. But I held my ground and I will keep doing so no matter what this shit head come up with next! This is MY LIFE NOT HIS! I WILL NEVER BREAK NC! I WILL NEVER GO AFTER HIM AGAIN like I did so many times in the past! He broke his ST but I didn't break NC!Or did I?

#19 Nov 18 - 2PM

needing2know

Thanks everyone, but if I did

Thanks everyone, but if I did such a good job why do I feel like throwing up! I feel so suck to my stomach! I am officially a wreck! AGAIN just like after the D&D.

#20 Nov 18 - 3PM (Reply to #8)

Done sourcing

There are some big

There are some big differences between now and the original d and d. Biggest one is knowledge...in your head, intellect. But the emotional tiggers remain, I know. I have had contact with my exwn many times over the past year and three quarters. One thing I know for sure. After a contact if you completely stay nc the jolt will subside completely very very quickly, unlike the original d and d. You will wake up in two days stronger and further towards healing than you were before he hoovered, AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT CONTACT HIM OR RESPOND TO ANY FURTHER CONTACT MADE BY HIM. Sometimes they come in again quickly, and with your weakened resolve, which he can sense, btw, they will get their hooks back in and twist the knife and make you suffer the agony of communicating with a disordered narc-stink assclown. So it is def-com red (5...whatever) for you til further notice. Call or pm someone on here and keep a vigil going for the next couple of days. We should have a vigil committee here on-site for just such situations. You will bounce back quickly, but watch your own behavior and don't act on impulsive magical thinking, that will take you straight back to hell. ds

#21 Nov 18 - 5PM (Reply to #9)

needing2know

DS

There is no more magic in what was, I know him for who and what he is, how fake he is and how he can pretend to love, I am still in shock! I cannot beleive I held it together as well as I did. But at the same time I feel like shit, because I am forced to be hateful and that is not my nature, But I now what I did was the right thing for me as a human being! I cannot let this man destroy me anymore! He did enough damage! I kinda feel like I gave him back what he gave me a big fat D&D! but whatever it takes to move forward.

#22 Nov 18 - 2PM

Lisa87

Good Job NTK

I was narked at the store by mine yesterday too! Saw him and tried to hide cause he didn't see me...but somehow his narc radar zeroed in on me and he raced over behind and surprised me, ugh! Thank god he had to go meet someone for lunch or he would have followed me around shopping for my whole lunch break. Good job in staying indifferent!!!

#23 Nov 18 - 1PM

faith_

good for you, needing2know.

good for you, needing2know. I'm so proud of your everything during the interaction. And like everyone said, be Kind to yourself with any lingering effects of the ambush. gosh.

#24 Nov 18 - 1PM

Used

needing2know

What can I say? ..... YOU ARE A STAR..... well cool.....

#25 Nov 18 - 12PM

ReclaimingPower

OMG

Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woot! Woot!!!

#26 Nov 18 - 12PM

Done sourcing

Be careful that your head

Be careful that your head doesn't get spun. This is a critical time, be on guard for your emotional stability to get shocked into cogdiss and magical obsessive thoughts. He did narc you hard, and right up close and personal. It was all about him...are you mad at me, blah blah blah. They are truly full of shit and full of chaos, and want us to join the plastic party. Stay strong and keep posting, ds

#27 Nov 18 - 1PM (Reply to #2)

Hunter

I agree with DS.. Be

I agree with DS.. Be careful.. Master Manipulators ... Assclown!! Good job. Hunter

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