There Should be Consequences for his Abuse

My X stole, put holes in my walls, and hit me, so he did 9 months in jail. Believe it or not, I have received some of my money back and he has done some home repairs. Unusual for a Narc, but I do not put up with his shit anymore and I demanded it back or threatened him with a civil suit to get my money back. This was my situation, yours may be different and keep in mind, if you are dealing with a psychopath, revenge is NOT a good idea because they WILL GET YOU BACK. Tread lightly on this one. If he did anything illegal prosecute, if not, LET IT GO!!! NC NC NC is always the BEST REVENGE. They hate to be ignored, just as Sam Vaknin, he'll tell you this one. God bless, Goldie

Silence and NC are the only and the best revenge. This is the worst narcissistic injury they will ever experience - being ignored.

Hi Jen, One way of dealing with these feelings that I use is to keep reminding myself of the things that I know about him that I believe he is unaware of due to his constant state of denial: I know that all his romantic relationships are doomed to fail. I know that the older he gets, the more he loses his looks and becomes ever more cantankerous, the harder it will be to get the attention/admiration that he so desperately needs to be fulfilled. I know that, over time, his "friends" will gradually tire of him and he will be forced to make new "friendships" that, again, don't last. I know that he will end up a lonely old man, a failure and a loser who still hasn't worked it out yet - that the problem is with him, that HE is the cause of all of his unhappiness, not the other people around him. Watching the behaviour of the narcissist ex is like watching a character in a play or a film where, as an audience member, we know more about what's going on in their lives than the character does themselves, and this enables us to observe and laugh at their naivety and blindness as they stumble clumsily from one lifestyle blunder to the next. I see this as "karma". I know it's not exactly the same as them getting their hearts broken, which is what we have suffered at their hands, but I strongly believe that they do become more and more unhappy throughout their lives as the grandiosity gap gradually widens alongside the ageing process. Many of them end up depressed with themselves but are unable to change their situation as they do not respond well to therapy and are stuck in their own "spider's web" of doom. So, although they do not get their hearts broken (which is impossible anyway as they don't have those feelings) I see this torment of theirs as equivilent to the emotional trauma that they have put us through with their abuse. Jen, we must keep reminding ourselves that we were able to escape from their "web" because we are strong. By giving ourselves time to heal and by working on our self-esteem we WILL recover from what they have done to us. In contrast, they are stuck in their "web" of misery, with only themselves and their sub-conscious self-loathing, forever. Knowing this is the best revenge. xxx

I agree with you Jen!!! Something terrible needs to happen to these guys. Instead they just get more victims and more supply, more night of going out, more delusions... they need to be hit by a BUS! All those robberies, assaults, beatings I read about in the paper and hear about on the evening news, I feel like it's all being distributed to the wrong people- these guys have racked up so much bad karma, WHY hasn't the universe taken revenge on them yet?? I'm waiting... and I won't be sorry for any of them.

from: http://articles.cnn.com/2009-08-19/living/tf.cheater.punish.10.ways_1_frisky-facebook-social-networking-sites?_s=PM:LIVING 1) Reverse-Search His E-Mail Fast. 2) See Hidden Pics & Profiles Now! Spokeo.com/Cheating-Men 2. Call up your hottest platonic male friend, grab your digital camera and go do something adorable together. Now it's time to create a Facebook photo album full of pics of you looking smiley. (Bonus points if your ex was slightly paranoid that this guy had a thing for you). The Frisky: Possible to remain friends with an ex? 3. Permanently adopt that comfy sweatshirt he left at your place. Especially if he's the one who caused the breakup, he probably doesn't have the cojones to ask for it back now. 4. Gain that extra 10 lbs that fills you out nicely, like Joan Holloway on "Mad Men"... 5. ...or lose that extra 10 lbs so you can fit into your sexy jeans again. Either way, this also requires a Facebook photo album. The Frisky: How Joan Holloway gives me confidence 6. You might hear from his mom, sisters, or other family members you were close to after the breakup, especially if you dated for a long time. Airing too much of your dirty laundry to them will make you look like a psycho. But if he did cheat on you (and you didn't cheat back), it couldn't hurt to mention how his bad behavior led to the split. The Frisky: 10 rules on way men and women eat Dude sure as hell didn't tell them the truth about why you broke up! And any mom or sister worth her salt will tear your ex a new one when they learn that's why he lost a great girl like you. The Frisky: Continue relationships with an ex's loved ones? 7. Ignore every single text, Tweet, Facebook poke and email from here on out. But kept posting stuff on your social networking sites on the regular. 8. If you're a songwriter or a poet, well, you know what to do. The creep who caused Ani Di Franco's song "Untouchable Face" probably hasn't forgotten what he did. 9. Penning aggressive-aggressive emails (as opposed to passive-aggressive ones) is always therapeutic. The Frisky: Passive aggressive notes Web site 10. Spend a few months feeling down. Indulge in some therapy. Do some fun things single women do. Work extra-hard at your job and get a promotion. Go take a trip or buy some new clothes. Whenever you're ready, go meet a new guy. Fall in love. Have tons of great sex. Laugh a lot. Talk about baby names and where you want your honeymoon to be. The next time you run into your ex, mention all the great things that have happened in your life since you broke up ... or just smile. The Frisky: Happy to be single

I remember this phase and it is HARD! You spend all of your day and night obsessing about what you can do to hurt him or get back at him! I still do it at times but not nearly as much. Obsessing about revenge is giving him YOUR precious time and it's just not worth it. There is nothing you can do to these idiots that will hurt them. He'll just bounce back from whatever you do OR it will backfire on YOU. I thought (and still think at times) that he can't get away with what he's done. Nobody can be that CRUEL and horrible and keep walking around like nothing has happened while I'm a crying MESS! I thought of every horrible thing in the world to do to him. I'm so happy I'm not in jail! :) Think about it and try to figure out "what is the point"? Will it make you look like a crazy person? Will it give him even more reason to tell people YOU are the crazy one? YES!!! I don't know how to tell you to stop with the revenge ideas because it's something you have to work through. I can tell you a bazillion times that YOU being happy and NC is honestly the best revenge. I didn't believe that for 2 minutes when I was in this stage!!! LOL!! I get it now but it took me a LONG time!! There are days where I still want revenge so bad I can taste it! (so if you think of something really good let me know! Haaaaaaaaa!) Life will be his karma and his payback for being a soulless bastard! I promise. Stay strong and out of jail!

Knowing that image is everything for my narc - his favorite mask is the "Good Man/Guy" mask, when I was so furious I knew something had to be done, or healing would be impossible for me. I treated the whole thing like a chess game which made it fun! Here's what I chose to do, and apparently, its a very popular website as they have many cheater profiles and visitors. Oh yeah, I also took extra money from his checking account (I was listed as co-owner). Last I heard from him, he was screaming in a public meltdown "I was insane! I was insane!" I posted my narc's cheater profile at: http://cheaterville.com/?page=cheaters&id=3184, and he's also on another "Player" website. Yes, of course I have proof to back up everything I wrote (in the form of videos and a few emails/photos/receipts etc.) The support I received from strangers who knew of him was amazing (in fact, you can read their comments at the website with his profile/photo). It really helped me get rid of a lot of anger, and I'm glad I did it. He's basically a coward, but if anyone who knows his name googles him, that website and his profile will pop up. I tried the forgiveness route, but the more I thought about the whole situation, I knew I had to do something. He was busy strutting around like a rooster crowing about himself at the time about the new OW (and you couldn't miss she was being set up as I was! as well as rubbing it in my face!") Think carefully about what you choose to do, keep it legal, and good luck!

getting over him, moving on, being happy while he is stuck in his own miserable skin that is the perfect revenge

It takes 7 years to exact the perfect revenge and get away with it... I read that somewhere..... I won't bother though, I know that his evil would still outsmart my smartest plan.... I am praying for karma on my side... no in fact I don't even care anymore That's MY revenge....