They are weird

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wind
wind's picture
They are weird

My ex actually had the nerve to ask me whether I would be ok if he starts to see a couple of other girls while he is with me. Of course I refused then he said it was only a joke, but even then I knew better I guess I was just a fool to let it go as far as it went. He said I would be definitely in (as if he was doing me a special favour) but he would like to date two more women. When I asked him if he has got anyone particular in his mind (I mentioned a mutual friend he used to flirt with) he called me psycho and said all you women are crazy. I am guessing that is a red flag. The next day he almost abandoned me in a super market with no way of getting back. Then he complained about how disappointed I looked and told me to not look like he committed a major crime. I didn't even complain!!!! The list goes on...

janine
janine's picture
Another story about "abandoned in a super market"
What is it about super markets, do they bring out their worst qualities? And no, he cannot be yours, because I live on the other side of the globe! First holiday with my ex, no rows, sun shining over Spain, we go shopping for groceries, because we have a holiday flat (cheaper than a hotel, you see?) I cannot make up my mind what to buy and turn around to ask him. He's gone! It's our first day there, I don't speak the language but after walking two miles I manage to find our flat. I'm more puzzled than angry, and finding him there ask what this was all about. He shrugs without looking at me. No big deal, must be in a bad mood. Just a few peanuts for dinner that night. A year later we travel to another place in Spain. This time I'm left standing alone between two restaurants. By now I have learned at least a small lesson: I speak enough Spanish to get by and I have plenty of money with me. I don't bother look around for him, buy myself a lovely meal in one of those restaurants, chat and flirt with some Spaniards. Hours later, back at our place, where he's sulking, I fly in high as a kite, tell him about the great Paella, the lovely people (leaving the rest to his imagination)and state that it'd be great to end this wonderful evening with some sex, if he felt like it?? He did. I was never abandoned again.
NoNarcingZone
NoNarcingZone's picture
Weirdos!
OMG Wind! Is his name _______??? Sounds like my (STBX) N/SH & the same $#%@ he pulled w/me. After 3 days of the silent treatment, we needed to go to commissary for food. He walked BEHIND me as I pushed the basket (usually to see which soldiers were checking me out). When I reached the register, turned & placed the groceries on the conveyor - he disappeared. He had the money to pay. I let a few people go ahead of me, thinking he'd return any minute. That 5 minutes he was gone seemed like 30. I collected my baby & walked off, leaving the groceries @ the check out. We reached the exit & the N came up to me asking 'where are the groceries?' At the register where you left us & them, moron! He said he'd left his wallet in the car & went to retrieve it. It became a full-blown argument when I asked if he could've broke his silent treatment streak long enough to at least say that to me. I refused to get in the car w/him. His Sgt had to come & pick up me & the baby. He agreed that the N's behavior was odd & suggested he go spend the night in the barracks. I KNOW the N stood outside the store watching me panic when I realized he wasn't behind me @ the checkout. He seems to take pleasure in watching others' discomfort. He knows discomfort all too well. His meer existence IS & always will be uncomfortable - for he is NOT HUMAN. Bizarre...they are. The COWARDS! I can already imagine your list. Feel free to share. Be glad it's over, Wind. Let the healing begin. =)

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"Soldier, don't confuse your rank with MY authority!"

girlfriday
girlfriday's picture
sadism
That's just the creepiest thing, NNZ. So twisted and sadistic. Was this a pattern, these games and watching you like he was torturing a bug on the sidewalk? Very curious about the sadism. Might start a thread soon...
Susan32
Susan32's picture
The sadism of Ns/Ps
From experience, I can say Psychs are FAR more sadistic (and knowingly so) than Narcs. My former Narc boss kind of knew when to cut it out. He had an image to protect! He wanted to come across as a fairly decent boss. As for my former Psych professor, he WANTED his image to be of the "tough" teacher when he was merely being sadistic. He didn't mind constant public humiliation (of me),using the therapist on-campus for a power play, the constant ridicule. Incredibly cruel... and he was my TEACHER!
Susan32
Susan32's picture
Watching the freakout
That's incredibly sadistic. My ex-N boss had a similar way of acting. He'd think it was funny to tell my coworkers how I "freaked out",when his behavior caused such things, like throwing tantrums over NOTHING. He screamed and cussed at me because I had put honey on the counter without wiping its bottom. Then he thought it was funny that I "freaked out all the time"? My ex-P professor was WORSE;that's why I think he's a Psychopath instead of a Narcissist. The Narc might've liked seeing me freak out... but the Psychopath ENJOYED every minute. No wonder my ex-P was at a loss when I wasn't freaking out about the OW, but wishing him well, saying we were incompatible (which we DEFINITELY were) He enjoyed seeing me uncomfortable. He was opportunistic, especially when friends/family died. It made him crueler.
NoNarcingZone
NoNarcingZone's picture
Susan32
"He was opportunistic, especially when friends/family died. It made him crueler." The same with my N/SH (I believe he's a sociopath, but some days fits the description of a psychopath!) His grandmother was at home dying of cancer. I was told that he could be heard in the room telling her to 'just let go'. That statement coming from someone normal would have empathetic connotation. Eerily, I don't get that from his words. --------------------------------------- "That soldier confused his rank with MY authority!"

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"Soldier, don't confuse your rank with MY authority!"

Susan32
Susan32's picture
His aunt's illness
When his aunt came down with a serious illness my freshman year (it might've been cancer), I showed some sympathy to my ex-P. A normal Narc would have milked a family crisis... but my ex-P, he was incredibly cruel. Here I was, telling him I hoped she was better... and all he did was snap and throw a fit. Needless to say, my classmates were shocked. He acted as if his aunt's illness (and that he'd have to go to Massachusetts over the holidays) was some terrible inconvenience. He was as insensitive about his own family as he was about mine.
moonshine
moonshine's picture
sadistic
Mine does it too. He does it by talking to other women. He slept with me and said we are in some kinda relationship but i do want to see other women. i was shocked. He will do what he wants despite what I feel. Leaving you by the checkout counter is very mean...and you knowing that he watching you freakout is scary.
Used
Used's picture
cruel
exh, took me out for the day, to a place that was over 3oohundred miles fromwhere we lived we went shopping then he got bored, he said i will wait out side on that bench, after about 15minutes i came out ,he wasent there i thought he has gone back to car, went there ,car had gone, i went back to the bench, by now ime having massive panic attack,s i have no idea where i am, i had no money ,didnt have a clue were any transport was, after a good hour he came behind me and said boo. i said where have you been, and you took the car, he denied that, and still laughing said, i was going home if you hadnt have been here, and i looked up and said and if you had i would have divorced you, he looked so shocked, it took me another 9 years to divorce this fucking sadistic bastard, and all the way home he was doin a 100 miles an hour, knowing i hated goin fast i so hated him. i never went out socially with him again.