The things he hates about me...

23 posts / 0 new

#1 Dec 20 - 11PM

walking_on_sunshine

The things he hates about me...

Had to have contact this week to pick up my mail.A conversation consisted of the reasons for his devalue...

he states there are things about me he doesnt like but they are serious things and for that reason the relationship would never work out.

#1 He didn't like that sometimes my phone battery would die. Since I know that he has issues with trust, I should have been answering the phone every time he called me and my phone should have always been charged and i should have carried it on on me 24/7. I am a liar because i promised him i would do my best to keep it charged but sometimes it still died and that caused him to have his " issues"

#2 I showed my underwear in public.If one of his friends were to see my underwear and were laughing behind my back, he would feel embarassed. Quote" maybe its my ego or my pride but i dont want any guys looking at my gf's underwear and laughing." ( this comes from one day when i leaned over and accidentally my undies showed.)Note* I go out of my way to find high waisted pants and if my undies showed it was totally by accident.

#3 He says that I seem to think that I should be able to go out all over the place whenever I want. However, I DID NOT EVEN GO OUT AT ALL WHEN I WAS WITH HIM THE WHOLE TIME, and the only places I went was grocery shopping or to pay bills and the wierd thing is that i had no desire to go out anywhere.

He says I cannot give him the things he needs, ( as above) he states he is getting older and needs to think about his future security.He needs someone more understanding who will carry the phone on them all the time and concern themself more with whether or not thier undies are showing, and that when one is in a relationship they cant think that they can go wherever they want whenever they want. But Again reality is... - I never left the damn house so its an insane complaint.

If this was the best he had on me to tell me what a lousy gf I was then I must have done a damn good job.

He actually had the gull to tell me these were the very " serious" things he didnt like about me.

I now devalue him from nut to f*** nut

#2 Dec 21 - 7PM

needing2know

my ex told me there are

my ex told me there are things in me he didn't like and couldn't except... he never would tell me what they were lol

#3 Dec 21 - 7PM

jackguy

"I now devalue him from nut to f*** nut" - perfect

they are just ridiculous tools aren't they

#4 Dec 21 - 6PM

Susan32

My sense of humor

The ex-Psych took my sense of humor as proof that I did NOT take the world seriously. He'd proudly say that he didn't mock himself because he took himself seriously (I told him I'd do it for him, and yes, there was follow-through on my part) It didn't keep him from cruelly ridiculing me or other people. He had a lousy sense of humor... and once he described himself as being humorless like his idol Leo Tolstoy. Once, he had to EXPLAIN a joke he told. I think he deeply envied my sense of humor&wanted to rob me of it. At the senior skit, he was PWN'd (yes, I was part of it) I have a snarky sense of humor, I can be raunchy... I am PROUD of it! He was paranoid about being laughed at. BTW- Ashton Kutcher is reviving his Punk'd show.

#5 Dec 21 - 2PM

Better than ever

I had to laugh when I saw

I had to laugh when I saw your list.....my exN had a similiar list for me: 1.) When I didn't respond to his text within minutes....His favorite expression was "What are you doing, besides ignoring my texts...? " 2.) He hated when people turned to him and said his GF was beautiful......too much attention away from him....bad!!! lol 3.) He hated when he had to wait mere minutes, perhaps 5, for me to get ready.....he would be in a bad mood for hours after.... 4.) My personal favorite was the fact that me, his 5'4" GF wasn't as good at volleyball as he was....6'4".....he would complain, get embarassed, etc, if I missed ONE shot......I am very athletic and tried hard, but these facts are irrevelent.... The truth of the matter is, it doesn't matter how successful, beautiful, funny or smart we are, they will ALWAYS find fault!!!!!!!!

#6 Dec 21 - 2PM

bgirl

Well this nut told me no

Well this nut told me no wonder he loved me because I looked hot in a certain skirt and that he was not able to tolerated his wife that he had left because she didn't fix their freeway toll tag immediately!!!! This was when I went wtf am I dealing with here??

#7 Dec 21 - 1PM

ReclaimingPower

You Rebel You!

Showing your underwear in public...and his friends laughing at you. Doesn't seeing this in writing yet again make you wonder why on Earth we hooked up with men like this, and who had friends like those? The N I was with used to tell me he didn't like my nail polish or my hair color. I "did" change my nails cause it seemed like a trivial compromise, a nitty stupid thing that I didn't quite understand why he would even bring it up. But there was no way I was changing my hair. Yet another thing I've taken away from this experience is, if a guy makes a comment on something trivial he doesn't like, you better believe I'm gonna play it up big time. Hell, I'd wear my underwear on the outside of my pants! And if it's not trivial and he doesn't like it...NEXT! xoxo

#8 Dec 21 - 2PM (Reply to #17)

bgirl

Reclaiming I agree...or buy

Reclaiming I agree...or buy some baggy low ride jeans and wear them below your underwear xx :) lol

#9 Dec 21 - 9AM

NessMIA

I love this thread..

Because it reminds me of how awful he was to me! And right now that is a good thing.. #1 He hated that my voice went up when I got too excited (told me to shush down.) #2 He hated if I made plans for us--but he was allowed to make plans. #3 He hated that I wasn't "good enough" at scuba diving and would always make fun of me in front of other people.. #4 He hated when I tried hugging him. #5 He hated that I cried when we argued.. those are just A FEW TINY THINGS..

#10 Dec 21 - 9AM

Hunter

Sorry, but that made me

Sorry, but that made me laugh!! Does that even make any sense? The reasons the come up with when they discard you..OYE! It's all "Scrambled Eggs" You can now see ..Waste of time.. Hunter

#11 Dec 21 - 8AM

clover16

hate and envy...

I feel like the things that Ns hate are also the things that they envy in us. My ex was always angry that I was too curious about things, that I was "too smart for my own good". I think, deep down, he was angry that I was a university student and he never went to university. He was envious that I had an experience that he never did; that he couldn't brag about and feel superior to me. My ex ex, also a N (nice track record!), once called me "crafty", for figuring out a modest, beneficial financial arrangement for myself and our child that he could not weasel out of agreeing to. All in all, both of these people hated what I like best in myself - curiousity, love for learning, interest in things (other than them!).

#12 Dec 21 - 3AM

dulcinea441

The things they "hate" about

The things they "hate" about us are really the things we hate about ourselves. They zero in on our deepest insecurities and exploit them in order to control and demean us. If we ever dare show some independence and growth away from what once held us back, they will do their best to kill our confidence and put us right back into those old shackles from which we fought so long and hard to break free. In other words, they find out our weaknesses and work them against us. They don't really care what those weaknesses are, they only care about hurting us by whatever means work best. Once we realize this, we have the power to free ourselves from that voice of inner criticism. If we can give ourselves away to someone else to exploit, then we can also take ourselves back.

#13 Dec 21 - 8AM (Reply to #12)

walking_on_sunshine

Useless slutty partygirl

Dulcinea, Yeah, I think they pick at things we are sensitive to, whether they are true or not. I used to highly value my worth on my womanhood ( homemaker ability ) and he knew it because he saw that I went so out of my way to" look after him ". He caught on to my sensitivity just by observing my behaviors. What else would possibly hurt more than being devalued as a useless woman/slutty/ and a partygirl. From the woman who cooked nice healthy meals with lots of veges, bought all the groceries, renovated the entire house herself including sanding and painting, never went out with friends, kept no male friends at all, did no hobbies or social activities, never went anywhere but to the store or to pay bills, cleaned, did dishes and vaccumed every single day. Organised 3 of his closets and 25 years of his papers, washed the freaking walls.... My bad. Next time, for a man I'm gonna lay on my ass and ask him to bring me water and devalue him for living like a pig.

#14 Dec 21 - 6AM (Reply to #10)

onwithmylife

dulcenia

The exnarc sent me some horrible, ugly, mean letters recently in an attempt to destroy my character and belief in who I am, they remind me of little toddlers in a black room with blindfolds on, trying to desperately to strike at the pinata, flaying, is what i am trying to say, it only made him looks so pathetic that he would blame me for everything in the relationship and never once look inside himself.I alwys thought they criticize us for what really exists within them, the hatred and self loathing..

#15 Dec 21 - 3PM (Reply to #11)

dulcinea441

That's true too, I think.

That's true too, I think. They target us depending on what they think our weak spots are, AND they target us to relieve themselves of their own insecurities by projecting them onto us. In both cases, it's oddly impersonal. They seek to cause harm by whatever avenue is most convenient to them.

#16 Dec 21 - 12AM

uk lady

OMG

Now you take that all that on board and go and say 10 Hail Mary's for forgiveness. You said it right, what a controlling fnut. The x used to say, whenever I called him out and subsequently got angry about something he had said/done/ postponed/altered at the last minute/been late for/ignored/devalued me on - read, lying, cheating, gaslighting, projection, passive/aggressive behaviour on his part. "This is the side of you that I can't cope with Dee". WTF - his selfish and inconsiderate words/actions had caused the upset in the beginning. So I was always left feeling like I was the aggressive crazy one. I played right into his hands. In the end I just thought, "you know what - you have it, I'm done with it all". I basically don't give a shit what he thinks about me nowadays because I know that I am a good person because at least I can feel for myself and others in equal parts. Dee x

#17 Dec 21 - 8AM (Reply to #8)

walking_on_sunshine

Dee, yes how can I forget,

Dee, yes how can I forget, our responsive behaviors to the abuse are what the pick on the best.

#18 Dec 20 - 11PM

nomoredenial

wow

sounds like a compete nut...you know whats funny is mine always has issues with my underwear showing. Only it was that someone might like it....maybe he was telling on himself.

#19 Dec 21 - 7AM (Reply to #2)

onwithmylife

nomoredenial

this underwear business is too much, I use to wear a lot of white underwear, briefs they are comfortable for me and when i switched to different colors and when we were sitting on the sofa, he saw my underpants from my jeans and pulls on the pants sadistically and says gee you are wearing colors, what a creep...

#20 Dec 21 - 4PM (Reply to #5)

NessMIA

WHAT IS WITH Ns and UNDERWEAR?

My N would make so much fun of me if I was wearing "boy shorts" or underwear that weren't sexy. So much so, that every morning when I picked my underwear, I was scared of what he was going to say! I could only wear sexy thongs around him.

#21 Dec 21 - 4PM (Reply to #6)

onwithmylife

nessmia

All we are, are Barbie dolls to these sick men, objects, that is all, F**k themselves..........

#22 Dec 21 - 9AM (Reply to #3)

walking_on_sunshine

OMG so Im not the only one

OMG so Im not the only one who had the gotten the underwear obsession comments. It was always about the red ones... I felt like I was in grade school.

#23 Dec 21 - 1PM (Reply to #4)

nomoredenial

he used to point and mimick to pull my shirt down

sometimes I would lift my shirt higher and laugh cause it was funny. It was so no big deal Im not talking hanging out Im saying barely see when I got out of the car. He also thought my bra strap was just too damn sexy for other people to see when it peeked from my shirt. ahhh the things I overlooked. I think it was because he was being a pervert and he knew the slightest little things that got him worked up.

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews