Thoughts!!!!!

18 posts / 0 new

#1 Jan 1 - 3PM

abusednomore

Thoughts!!!!!

I stupidly peeked on facebook, and my exnarcs's friend has jus become friends with the OW on new years eve! i cant stop thinking now how they all had a lovely coupley new years eve and how they will all holiday together like the exnarc always wanted to but couldnt with me because of my daughter, and how they r so happy!

He left me 6months ago for this OW but never admitted it to me, i found out in nov from my friend on facebook, i then made sure he knew i knew about it and then the OW blocked me!!!!! i have since had disgusting solicitors letters belittling me all the time as he is not wanting to give me money back he owes my father from sale of the house, even tho in texts b he said he doesnt want to sell it but he wants to move back in with his OW!

I just cant stop thinking now about how happy they r, how do people overcome this???

#2 Jan 2 - 9AM

susnebraska

Turn off Facebook

It's so hard being discarded like trash at the curb. With that said, for your own sanity, to be good to you, please turn off Facebook for now. You can always go back to Facebook and turn it on later, when you choose, at a later date. When and if you do go back, block him, his family and the OW. The peeking is contributing to your pain. These obsessive thoughts of peeking are normal, but must stop for you. Best wishes and peace. Susnebraska

#3 Jan 1 - 5PM

needing2know

It is all an act! THEY ARE

It is all an act! THEY ARE NOT AS HAPPY AS THEY WANT YOU TO BELEIVE! THEY KNOW YOU LOOK SO THEY POST WHAT THEY KNOW WILL HURT YOU!!! STOP LOOKING! All your doing is giving them the satisfaction that they can still get to you! They will get whats coming to them, and mark my words the females they end up with will probably end up here just like we are. they get worse with each woman not better regardless of what they say or post or what they pretend to do! Stop hurting yourself by looking, start to heal yourself and start to go forward, always forward, never back is the best way!

#4 Jan 1 - 5PM

susnebraska

Cheating Discovered Facebook

Same thing happened to me. Almost 5 years together. Ended 5 months ago. There is OW. He never admitted to me. I discovered on Facebook. Her profile included a pic of he and she. Fortunately, she is butt ugly. Fugly. No style. Ugly. (enjoy her, I say) It kills. It's wrong. It hurts. But just continue to move on. Not sure what to do about house sale. Cut all ties if you can. I got screwed on a business trade, I fulfilled, which my EX NARC did not. Oh well. not much I can do. Except let this user/abuser,scumbag, freeloader, con artist just get away with it. F*@K him! They may appear happy, but no worries, once the mask comes off, the true FREAK SHOW will apppear. NARCS do not change. He's in the honeymoon stage. Stay strong. It's difficult. I get it. Good luck.

#5 Jan 1 - 5PM (Reply to #11)

abusednomore

Thankyou susnebraska, its

Thankyou susnebraska, its horrible when u find out about ow, I felt like everyone else knew exept for me, but like ur ex ow, she is ugly too, she is 22 but looks in her late 30's, and is everything he said he didn't like. But who cares if they r a playboy bunny, they will hav all the shit to come and havin to do weird warped shit in bed jus to keep him happy! God I don't miss that! Haha! I think I'm gonna ring my solicitor and ask for him to not send the letter out and jus ring me and tell me the basic whether I am gettin my money back or not, so then I don't hav to read the bullshit that he spouts out about me! Good luck with ur journey too and thanks for the advice.x x x

#6 Jan 1 - 5PM (Reply to #12)

susnebraska

Also

Hi Abusednomore ~ May I ask what country are you from? Not sure what solicitor means? Just curious. ------------- best wishes to you

#7 Jan 1 - 5PM (Reply to #13)

abusednomore

I'm in UK, I think u guys

I'm in UK, I think u guys have lawyers or attorneys from what I'm gettin off readin here. X

#8 Jan 1 - 5PM (Reply to #14)

susnebraska

Yep

Oh I get it. Yes, we have lawyers/attorneys/counselors (as they are called here). Interesting.

#9 Jan 2 - 3AM (Reply to #15)

abusednomore

i never thought it would have

i never thought it would have to come to this when we first got the house, i shouldnt have been so naive and trusting in him, i shud have trusted my gut instinct to protect myself and get something in writing for the money my dad loaned, but at the time i was so under his spell and 'in love' i went along with letting him do everything without me and put everything in his name!!!! how gullible!!!!

#10 Jan 1 - 4PM

abusednomore

you are so right goldie,

you are so right goldie, thankyou. why do we always think they r any different with other women, he prob got pissed and passed out like he always did, but i need to stop thinking any of that cos whatever, i know the outcome that will happen. i just need to come on ere and reread these posts from u lovely people to remind me that life is better without him! :-) xxxx

#11 Jan 1 - 4PM

Goldie

I don't believe that HAPPY is one of the traits which the DSM

Uses to describe a Narc. WHEN are they ever happy? It is all an act for 5 minutes and then the go into petty, jealousy, spiteful, angry, pouting, fear, rage, lie's, manipulation, mindgames, and self serving, self seeking behaviors which create wreckage and havoc on the lives of any who LET THEM IN. He is not happy, and soon she will not be happy either. God bless, Goldie

#12 Jan 1 - 4PM

abusednomore

Thankyou, im so glad ive

Thankyou, im so glad ive found this site, its been a lifesaver, even tho i hav fantastic friends and family who understand what he is, i sometimes feel like im dwelling on it too much. but within 3 years my exnarc has been married (for1.5years) left her for me (So i was the OW), bought a house with me and let my daughter call him dad, then dump me and got engaged to the OW! i need to keep remembering this cos why wud i think he is gonna change if he can do that in the space of 3years! he also changed his car four times in that time!!!! lol! Changed his car the last time cos i had laser eye surgery and he felt like he needed to hav something to even us out!!!!! lol!!!!!!

#13 Jan 1 - 4PM

Gravity

abusednomore

Instead of being envious, feel very very sorry for her. She has just entered hell and she doesn't even know it yet. It won't be long before she finds out he's cheating on her. And I know its soooo hard but fight the urge to look through his stuff on facebook! It just means pain.. what could you ever find that would make you feel GOOD? My guess is nothing. Don't be too hard on yourself, it happens. Just get right back up on that horse! :) xoxoxo *HUGS*

#14 Jan 1 - 4PM

abusednomore

Thankyou guys, im trying

Thankyou guys, im trying really hard but i just get this overwhelming urge to look! Everything you say is right, its just hard to believe sometimes. I need to commit more fully to Nc, i have changed mobile number, am moving to a new house, blocked emails, deleted all his photos last night, its just this one niggly annoying urge to get rid of now!!!!!

#15 Jan 1 - 4PM (Reply to #4)

Hunter

Contact = Pain.. Hunter

#16 Jan 1 - 5PM (Reply to #5)

susnebraska

Contact = Extreme Pain & Anxiety

I totally agree. It feels really, really awful to deal with him or any of his people: indirectly or directly. That sick feeling I get. I seriously deal with emotional and physical stress. Nightmares. That is how I am learning that he is NO GOOD FOR ME.

#17 Jan 1 - 3PM

Sparrow

They are only as happy as the

They are only as happy as the two of you were and the end result will be the same. Don't focus so much on them, focus on you and be thankful you got out when you did! And stop looking for them on Facebook. They mean nothing to you and they mean even less to you and your recovery.

#18 Jan 1 - 3PM

Hunter

Wasn't he once happy with you

Wasn't he once happy with you and once happy with the woman before you? They get real bored real fast ..the seek supply for their needs..It won't last and you know it . Hunter

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews