Today is THE Day

Hello Everyone,

I am back to the land of the living after the dreaded bar exam and I have some very exciting news:

I saw "it" during the exam both days, and on top of looking like hell (he's gained about 30 pounds since I last really took a good look at him) something very odd but wonderful happened inside of me...

I didn't care.

I looked at his face and I felt no yearning, no heart flutter, no desperation for his attention or closure or to get that "one last word" or explanation as to why it all happened the way that it did. All I saw was a sad, swollen human being who knows so little about life and love that he has squandered every opportunity he has had to be loved by someone else. I saw someone that, because of his inability to divorce himself from his own damaged ego, has developed a hatred for everyone and anyone who can feel anything, even after he has tried all that he can to take that ability away.

I saw someone who hates himself more than he ever hated me.

Ever since that moment it's as if I've woken up from a bad dream, like life and reality kept going while I was stuck fixating on a brief commercial during the 6 o'clock news. It's all a distant memory now.

I finally deleted all of the pictures, texts, and his phone number. I burnt the journal he gave me and the shirt and toys he bought my dog.

It's as if he never existed in the first place. And he never will again, except for in the sick, twisted pathology of his own mind, where he will be stuck living and re-living the same commercial over and over again...

And me? Well, now I can just get up and turn off the damn television.

For all of you struggling right now there is hope. It CAN and DOES get better as long as you are willing to make it better. This website has saved my life in many ways and I am so so grateful to all of you. Thank you :)

~TITE