The ultimate price of loving a N....

My heart goes out to you TYNK. Thank you for the strength to share during such a difficult time. You confirmed my suspicion on why my cousins sister-in-law killed herself and nobody could understand and she was accused and her H was seen as the 'victim' left behind . . .- You and your family are in my prayers.

about your loss of your sister, but I so appreciate that you shared your story. I am so sorry for the deep sadness that you must be feeling right now. after N broke up with me via text, I was so devastated, I had considered the same. The "man" (& I use that term loosely) is a coward with absolutely no empathy whatsoever, so it wouldn't have mattered to him, of that I am sure. The pain, hurt, feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness seemed insurmountable. He communicated in black & white only...things were never good enough.

I am so sorry for your loss. Yes we must leave these men and never, ever look back. I have been on the brink of suicide from this experience and I know that getting out was a matter of life and death. I will pray for you and your family. Huggs

I have thought of you all week long. I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister. My mother tried to commit suicide when my N dad left her for another woman. She survived. But I was soo angry with her for wanting to die over a man! It made no sense to me! And even tho I have never thought of killing myself over the N I now too realize how deep her hurt was. They were married for 32 yrs. He was a basterd to her to us kids. But everyone else just loved his charming ass. I hated him growing up. I wished him dead all the time. I swore I would NEVER be involved with someone like him. And here I am. I have forgiven my dad & my mom. They were each living in their own hell. I once asked my dad why were you like that?!! He broke down & cried & said he didn't know any better because of how his father treated him. His mother was an alcoholic. He told me he was so sorry for what he had done & caused. He is so caring and giving to his family now. Not the same person. I believe he sees his own mortality and is trying to make up for lost time. My mom to this day doesn't believe my dad was an N. She remembers only the good side he showed her. But she saw right thru my N. And absolutely detested him from day one. Maybe that's her way of dealing with what she endured. I believe your sister is going to be watching over you now. This will be her strength to you. You're going to hear her voice and know that you're going to be ok. You are in my prayers.

I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking time out from your grief to share this with us. In doing so you are helping others understand that this is absolutely a matter of life and death. God bless you and be with you and your family during this difficult time. xx, Rose

I am so, so sorry for your loss and of course the tragedy of your sister's life. What a terrible waste of a precious life. I'm just thankful that you have seen the price that can be paid and pray for you that you will work on yourself to heal yourself and get yourself to a healthier place to know healthy relationships in the future and be able to immediately walk away from unhealthy relationships. I pray you will have the discernment to know the difference as it sounds like there was probably something in your family upbringing that has setup both you and your sister to gravitate towards these types of people to the point where they can bring you down. Please have strength, learn from this terrible tragedy and work on your health...

How devastating. My little sister is lost, lost to drugs and alcohol a long time ago. I'm so sorry for your loss. But I really want to thank you. I've had many friends and family members try to get me out of this deadly relationship. No violence, just Narc abuse. I'm a changed person but luckily I still have some spark left! I'm inspired by your post and am going to take to heart what you have said. "...get these horrible people out of your life before they destroy you."

how sorry I am tynk. Sharing your post while you are in so much pain is an act of love to every person on this forum. You are 100% right these people must be removed from the lives of everyone who once loved them... I will keep you and your family in prayer.

Omg, tynk..I`m so sorry for your loss. Your post hit very much home to me..and I`m sure I`m not the only one. I have been through a huge tornado spin like your sister did as well..only in my case it was more of a desperate cry for help, than actual thought of taking my life. I have some very self absorbed parents, who weren`t helpful to me at all..and a best friend, who I thought I know my whole life, who made out with N..he knew she was my best friend, she as well knew he was like the love of my life. I found out, and though I wasn`t his gf or something, I was head over hills after him..that fall sent me down, down, I nhad nowhere to fall. And nobody to understand, and talk to at that time. I took an overdose of weight pills..because I wanted to hurt myself. I wanted to kill and erase every part of him, that ever was inside me. And as I said, in the same night, my N mother told me I was a disgrace for the family. And in my condition then, I wanted to die, I felt I had nothing to live for, nobody cared if I died. That weight pills, if you took them in a overdose, had the effect of taking metamphetamine, like the drug called "speed". It makes your heart beat faster and faster, until it blows. I was a wreck, my best so called friend betrayided me like a pice of garbage, for my family I was a disgrace, the "love of my life" just screwed me. I locked the room, put some meditation music (thank God for that), and stood in my room waiting for the inevitable. My folks were in the other room, watching tv. I got into some sort of coma like state, because the meditation music had the chilling effect, and in the same time, my heart was beating to jump from my chest. I was breathing heavier and heavier, almost breathing, and I was running hot and cold in the same time. And then, I had some strange illuminating moment in my mind..like maybe "that`s not all I`m here on this earth, for". Maybe that those people that I`ve strived to love, will never understand or love me back. But maybe that`s not me who makes them this way. Maybe someone out there loves me too (I was thinking about Jesus Christ and his sacrifice on the cruce). I had nothing else to hang onto. And I did it, I lasted until morning. I prayed not to die, I still have dreams, I don`t know the reason why those horrible things happened to me, but that`s NOT ALL OF THIS LIFE. THEY DON`T OWN ME. I have my own dreams and mission, and maybe someone from above, who sent me here, did it for a reason. Not only to suffer kicks all of my life. You know? In moments like those, I had to search something to hold onto..and for me that time, meditation, hope and my stubberness to survive I can say that saved me from that hole. And when I think about it, after that time, I forgot the pain, and even wanted to forgive and become friends! With him! And look where that brought. To other D&DS..Thank God, I found this forum. I understand your loss..I know personal cases like these, when controlling Ns do this to people. We should learn from this..and GET OUT! STAY OUT! The "good times" are only a facade, for the sadism dear friends. Rest In Peace, for your sis, wherever she is now. Sorry for the long comment, it triggered stuff from my own chaos. We may forgive, forget, but whatever we do, DON`T GO BACK. STAY OUT AND REBUILT YOUR LIFE! Thank you for sharing, and hugs to you. Stay strong!

Thank you so much tynk3377 for finding the strength to share this, a very lovely thing to do, you are very brave. Sadness like this puts things into perspective. Sending you and your family my love and hugs xxx

I wish I could give you a big hug. Thank you for having the strength and courage to share this. I am at a loss for what else to say...Ns are so sick and evil. Finally your sister is free of the N and in God's loving care.

I have been in so much pain this week over the wreckage this relationship has caused me....and now reading your post- brought me to my knees..I am so so sorry for your great loss. Oh My God, I know her pain was so great and I feel deep understanding and compassion for your sister. May she be at peace now, in God's loving hands. My love and prayers are with you in the coming days... Love and Healing, Striving.

May God be with you and your family in this dark time. Ns/Ps tend to be such cowards they engage in murder thru suicide, and they're too chicken to do it themselves, so they project it on others. Your sister went through hell... I hope she has found peace in Heaven. May God be comforting her, and you, in this time.

I am so sorry for your pain and that of your entire family. If this does not snap us out of it, I don't know what will. You are right, we just never understand anothers plight until we go through something similar ourselves. How sad, I am crying along with you hon right now and sending you hugs, love, and support in this time of deep sorrow. My grandmother killed herself when she was 68 when her younger narc left her for an even younger woman. She also had previously had a long marriage with an older man narc who probably set the stage for this pain as well. I thought of my grandmother often through the years I spent with PD's and if there is any validation for what your sister and my grandmother went through it is for US to break the cycle and teach the next generation not to stay in these horrible damaging relationships. GET OUT at the first sign of destructive treatment and behaviors because it is not going to get better. My prayers are with you and your family Tynk. God bless, Goldie

Your poor sweet sister. HUGE HUGS xx

I'm so sorry. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

I am so sorry for you, for your pain, for your sister. Thank you for your courage to come here and to share this story with us. It is an alarm for those of us who are in doubts about the necessity of the NC. Not only our hapiness and joy, not only our integrity, our lives are in danger! Courage to you! Love Winter

My heart goes out to you and your family. Nobody should have to endure the tortuous sting of loving the NPD. Cannot begin to express how sorry I am for you, how painful it must be. This is why we need to increase awareness. At the same time, it really is difficult for anyone who hasn't been through it themselves to fathom what sort of abuse we actually endure at the hands of these monsters. Much love & light & healing to you and your family.

o god, i am so sorry, i cannot stop crying, is this what love is suppose to be about, your poor sister,poor you, poor whole family....when you are in it and can never get out,even when you get out...its so tragic..... my heart goes out to you in this time and your familyxxxxx

I am so sorry for your loss and the things you have endured. Thank you for your bravery in sharing this story with us. It meant a lot to me.

I am sitting here in shock and disbelief. I am so very sorry for you, for her. It's so hard to understand because the damage it does is emotional. You can't see it. It is mind-destroying. Taking her life in such desperation to be free from the pain is the ultimate tragedy. I feel so deeply your pain and your message. Thank you and God Bless to you and your family.

OMG! How awful. I am so very sorry for your loss. This is so sad. Huge hugs to you. A relationship with a disordered person is so very destructive and painful for the people involved with them. It seems so unfair that the narc seems to skate away unscathed while their victims (like your beautiful sister) are completely destroyed. It is, also, horrible for the victim that no one can really understand the depths of torture and pain these disordered people can cause. Unless they've actually been in the situation, other people don't fully understand. Your post makes me want to cry, and then go beat the crap out of the narc for still living. He doesn't deserve the air he's breathing. You're in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sad for you and your sister. Once again, huge hugs to you.

Dear Tynk, I am so terribly sorry that you have lost your sister and in so many different ways - I am thinking of you and your family. With many condolences xxx Mega

This is one of the MOST heartbreaking stories I've seen on this board. Words cannot describe the pain I'm feeling as I read your post. I'm deeply sorry for your loss and it makes me so angry that the disoredered's take lives....murder by suicide. This is such a good example of why we all MUST fight to get our lives back after the disordered one. I'm so terribly, horribly sorry.....