UPDATE--Part II--GOING NC!

Okay...if some of you read what I posted last night--here's the update.

This morning, woke up...turned my phone on. Text from him. Saying...I'm paraphrasing but here's the gist:

Good Morning...I am going into work, and don't want to discuss my job or the site anymore. (site meaning website we belong to, looong story, but not even worth boring you with the details, just another method of control that he's threatened me with in the past) I love you, and will not leave you--but things have to change and get better. I will ttyl.

''things have to change and get better'' << translation...YOU need to do as I say, or we will have problems...or I will leave you.

Yanno ladies. I had this kind of love growing up--CONDITIONAL love. The only One who loves us without ANY conditions ...is God. That said, I do believe there are relationships that don't place conditions on people. This one I'm in, isn't one of them...and I WILL NO LONGER RELIVE MY PAST. I had no control over the abuse I suffered as a kid. But, I have control, now.

So? I closed my phone. Wasn't upset. And decided...from this point forward...I'm going NC. None of this deserves a reply. I am tired. I'm weary of it all. Not weak! But, weary of fighting with someone who never truly loved me. Here is the only reply that would suffice for him most like...

YESSSS SIR! lol And that ain't gonna happen! Oh snap!

I'm stronger ladies. I'm not that girl from last year. I can overcome letting my childhood dictate my present and future. I will remain single. I will heal. I will take care of my kids. I will then, after I have had time to heal...decide to look for other men. I do not need to be in a relationship to feel whole. I need to discover who I am...and not through the eyes of the little girl who was abused. She has made all of my decisions up to this point, and she needs to heal, too.

Anyways...PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. GOING NC LIKE THIS IS UNLIKE ME. I usually like to smooth things over. I usually respond with...''are you saying everything is my fault?'' But, you know? I have a strange sense of peace today...deciding to go NC. Called a friend today, and she said...''be prepared by this afternoon when he gets the sense you are ignoring him...for some seriously scathing texts.'' I told her--bring it on baby. lol She said...''he will not know what to do with silence. He will definitely call you on your ride home today, too.'' I don't know about that. He may get the message that it's over without me having to say it. I'm hopeful that's the message he 'gets.' But, she's right in that...he does like to argue. He LIKES it. He thrives on being right, and winning. You can't argue with silence...so, this probably will drive him crazy. And to that? I say....good! I have no desire to hurt this man, but let him feel the angst he has put me through. Let him wonder where I am on a Friday night, when he has to go to bed and get up early in the morning to work. Let him twist. He doesn't deserve any reply from me any longer.

Is this the right decision? Do you think?