The Way the Psychopath Sabotages

I am posting my response to a post that blondelover2 made "Contempt Citation" as a new thread. Here's the original thread. http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2012/06/27/contempt-citation

It's helpful to point out the WHY they react with retaliation. My normal-person brain tends to forget that N/P people operate in the way of destruction and sabotage, but OF COURSE they do.

I have a big project in the works - - one that, if I hadn't been married to a sabotaging cruel evil dark monster, my project would have already been completed MANY TIMES OVER. He would have had that successful wife he *said* he wanted. Ha. My instincts say to protect the project and NOT let him know about it (by way of my children). Such a good reminder that I am doing the right thing. He would totally sabotage the project.

I must remember that as I begin to show evidence of recovering from him, that he will attempt to sabotage me again and again. My instinct tells me that he will NOT let go. Even though he's remarried. I think I subjected him to SUCH a big narc injury that he will NEVER let me "go" in his mind. To him, DIVORCE is such a BLACK MARK ON HIS CHARACTER. He has to blame me. And he will do everything he can to prove that the reason why I left him is because "Abreva is Crazy. Abreva is Defective. Abreva is Not a Functional Human Being." He did EVERYTHING he could to keep me in that role, and when I would no longer play along, bend to his will, comply, etc. he began to react so violently and bizarrely that he ran me out of my home PERMANENTLY. (Thank GOD.)

In fact, I can see now that this is why he sabotaged me so intensely during separation with my Family Member. I was rising out of the muck of the life I had with him, and he could see the evidence of that, and he tried to kick me back down -- it sort of worked. But here I am again, OUT of the muck. Like a phoenix rising up. Like a dragon girl who will fly over him -- and I breathe fire. (And I think my Family Member is cut from the same cloth, for whatever reason, jealousy perhaps, wanting to sabotage everything good in my life, tearing it down and destroying. So my Family Member participated in his game.)

And I'm thinking of HOW he sabotaged me separation. He did that, but he continued to beg me (and threaten) to get me to come back (even through the lawyer). Oh I love you, Abreva. You are so VALUABLE. I value your work and I will help you make it happen. And you can't do your work without my support! (SICK) So, he sabotaged me -- viciously. And I didn't really find out about the extent of it until MONTHS after he finally figured out that I was never coming back. So, now, I see -- if I had actually gone back -- if his threats/begging had worked -- the sabotage would have been REVEALED to me, and then I would have been Sitting There in That House With Him with this big pile of SH*T, of Evidence, all over me, of what a heartless, vicious, hateful, disgusting "human being" he was. WOW. He didn't give a RAT'S A** about me, or getting caught, or the future.

If he had CARED ABOUT THE FUTURE HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEHAVED THAT WAY EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER!!!!! We never would have been in the situation of separation or divorce. HE NEVER CARED.

WWWWWOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!